TiVoPlex
May, 5 2009 through May 11, 2009
By John Seal
May 4, 2009
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Tuesday 05/05/09
12:05 AM Showtime
What We Do Is Secret (2008 USA): In accordance with my general disdain for biopics, I avoided this film on its initial release. Regular readers have probably read my rant regarding the genre often enough, so I'll refrain from repeating it today, except to point out that What We Do Is Secret depicts a crucial period of my adolescence and mistakes of fact or tone will, therefore, be frowned upon with considerable vigor! The story of punk rock closet case Darby Crash (born Jan Paul Beahm in 1958) and his notorious band The Germs (which also included future Nirvana guitarist Pat Smear), What We Do Is Secret recreates the heady days of late 70s Los Angeles, when the mellow California sunshine of Laurel Canyon troubadours was eclipsed by the roar of a thousand out of tune Sunset Strip teenagers. Now that the film is making its American television premiere, I'm eager to see it - and hopeful that the results don't totally distort history. Also airs at 3:05 AM.
12:40 AM Starz
CJ 7 (2008 HK): Even in comparison to director Stephen Chow's earlier releases, Shaolin Soccer and Kung Fu Hustle, CJ7 performed poorly at the US box office. That's probably because the film was primarily aimed at the under 12s - not a popular demographic when it comes to non-Anglophone films. Adult fans of Chow's oeuvre will, however, still find the author's signature comedic touches intact and will probably want to give CJ7 a look. The film stars Chow as a poor but proud dad who can't afford to buy his son all the latest gadgets, but compensates by giving the child a bizarre looking toy he finds at the dump. The "toy", in fact, turns out to be a cute, fuzzy space alien! The film features plenty of slapstick, CGI, and scatological humor, rendering it suitable for any youngster willing to put up with subtitles. Also airs at 3:40 AM.
7:50 AM Encore Mystery
Dog Day Afternoon (1975 USA): I've been waiting years for TCM to give this one an airing, and I'm still waiting, so in the meantime I'll settle for this pan and scan showing on Encore Mystery. Legendary in its time for its depiction of gay bank robbers, Dog Day Afternoon features Al Pacino and John Cavale as the hapless duo who are simply hoping to steal enough money to pay for an operation. Instead, they find themselves enmeshed in a hostage situation and the focus of intense media coverage that soon becomes as much a part of the robbery as the crime itself. Pacino and Cavale are outstanding and Sidney Lumet's direction near flawless. It's a great film, and considering it was shot in 1.85:1, worth watching in any aspect ratio.
8:45 PM Turner Classic Movies
Big Stakes (1922 USA): We don't often get to see silent westerns - perhaps the genre was considered so dispensable that even the works of William S. Hart, Broncho Billy Anderson, and others just haven't survived the ravages of time - so I'm very excited to note the TCM premiere of this rare Metropolitan oater. J. B. Warner stars as granite-jawed lawman Jim Gregory, who faces a tough decision: does he pitch woo to the beautiful white woman (Wilamae Carson) he desires, or fall under the spell of the fiery Mexican senorita (Elinor Fair) who also fascinates him? No prizes for guessing the correct answer, but en route to settling his relationship issues, Jim must contend with an angry rancher and some rather nasty Ku Klux Klanners, who, oddly enough, probably share his views on miscegenation.
Wednesday 05/06/09
12:20 AM MGM HD
The Neanderthal Man (1953 USA): Somehow, I can't imagine a better film for the HD format. Erm, NOT, as the kids used to say. The Neanderthal Man is a grotty low budget programmer that delighted me as a child with its tale of a mad scientist (Robert Shayne) who has mastered the dark art of "reverse evolution" and turned himself into the titular hairy hominid. A sabre tooth tiger also gets into the act. Helmed by renowned German director E. A. Dupont, the film co-stars scream queen Beverly Garland as a waitress who falls victim to the marauding evolutionary throwback.
7:00 PM Sundance
Climates (2006 TUR): No, this isn't one of Sundance Channel's ubiquitous ecological documentaries - it's actually a pretty decent if predictably plotted Turkish drama. Writer-director Nuri Bilge Ceylan stars as Isa, a University prof in an unhappy marriage with Bahar (Nuri Ceylan's real-life wife Ebru). Bahar abandons Isa mid-summer vacation due to irreconcilable differences, and Isa beats feet for gal pal Serap (Nazan Kesal), who, you'll be surprised to learn, is the source of the differences. Could a winter reconciliation be in the cards for Isa and Bahar? If you're in the mood for a tight-lipped relationship drama with subtitles, you could do a lot worse than Climates.
Thursday 05/07/09
8:30 AM Encore Love Stories
After the Wedding (2006 DAN): The eternal Battle of the Sexes gets a distinctly different look-in via this excellent picture from Danish director Susanne Bier. Rising star Mads Mikkelsen headlines as Jacob, the director of a Mumbai orphanage constantly confronted with budget crises. When a possible fiscal saviour appears in the form of businessman Jorgen (Rolf Lassgard), Jacob ups sticks for Copenhagen - only to learn that his benefactor's wealth comes with strings attached that involve participation in his daughter's wedding ceremony. A Best Foreign Language Film nominee at the 2007 Academy Awards, After the Wedding is another impressive feather in Bier's cap, and was written by frequent collaborator Anders Thomas Jensen (Brothers, The Duchess).
9:20 AM Encore Mystery
The Man Who Fell to Earth (1987 USA): No, you're reading that date right - 1987. I didn't know there'd been a made-for-TV remake of Nicolas Roeg's science-fiction landmark, either, but here's the proof. Lewis Smith (who he?) takes on the Bowie role of the space alien far from home, and the supporting cast ain't half awful, Mum, including as it does Annie Potts, Wil Wheaton, and Robert Picardo. I'll certainly be tuning in to discover just how wretched this is - and I'm already living in fear of the forthcoming big screen "re-imagining" mooted on IMDb. Also airs 5/8 at 2:30 AM.
7:00 PM Sundance
Inland Empire (2006 USA): I've been off the David Lynch bandwagon for some time and found 2001's Mulholland Drive to be completely incomprehensible. Things don't improve much if at all with his most recent effort, Inland Empire, which makes its television debut this evening. Lynch muse Laura Dern stars as actress Nikki Grace, hired by Brit filmmaker Kingsley Stewart (Jeremy Irons) to appear in his new project, a remake of a (literally) cursed Polish picture. Things spiral out of control from here, as Nikki discovers she has an alter ego in a parallel world, folks start spouting Polish, and some giant anthropomorphic rabbits pop up. There are some wonderful sequences, and some of the cameos are worthwhile (William H. Macy, Diane Ladd), but does it actually mean anything, or is it just a big joke on the audience? Hmmm.
Friday 05/08/09
5:00 AM Showtime 2
Lambada (1990 USA): I always get this film confused with its twin, The Forbidden Dance, also released in 1990 to cash in on the much-hyped Lambada "craze". I know one of them is slightly better than the other. I think this is the worse of the two, but when it comes to movies about steamy tropical dances and the dancers who dance them, can you really afford to miss either?
3:15 PM Turner Classic Movies
The First Time (1969 USA): Sixties sexpot Jacqueline Bisset stars in this comedy about three young men trying to lose their virginity whilst on a trip to the Canadian side of Niagara Falls. Ricky Kelman, Wink Roberts, and Wes Stern star as Mike, Tommy, and Kenny, who hope to get laid and think they've found an appropriate layee in the form of Anna (Bisset), an Englishwoman looking for help in crossing the border into the United States. The First Time is actually pretty tame stuff, and it's a bit hard to believe it came out the same year as Easy Rider and Midnight Cowboy - but don't worry, one of the likely lads does, indeed, get lucky before the credit crawl.
7:00 PM Sundance
OSS 117: Cairo, Nest of Spies (2007 FRA): Anyone who enjoyed the Austin Powers films will probably get a kick out of this thoroughly enjoyable French take-off of the '60s super-spy genre. Jean Dujardin stars as Hubert Bonissuer le Bath, otherwise known as secret agent OSS 117, previously the subject of half a dozen films during the swinging sixties. Actually set in 1955, Nest of Spies sends Hubert off on a dangerous mission to Egypt, where he must settle the impending Suez Crisis and bring peace to the Middle East whilst masquerading as a poultry wholesaler. It all adds up to outrageous good fun, with loads of sight gags and a clever screenplay that, naturally, includes a few exiled Nazis for good measure. The film was so successful that it's spawned at least one sequel, with more apparently in the offing.
Saturday 05/09/09
9:45 PM Turner Classic Movies
Rich and Strange (1932 GB): Strange to say, but I've never seen this early Hitchcock film - it's one of about half a dozen, mostly early, Hitch's that have evaded my eyeballs to date. That said, I suggest you head over to my pal David Cairn's excellent Web site to check out his recent review, after which you'll be chomping at the bit to see what David describes as "the third Hitchcock film I'd be willing to call a masterpiece."
Sunday 05/10/09
1:15 AM Turner Classic Movies
Mystery Liner (1934 USA): I'm a big fan of formulaic mystery writer Edgar Wallace, who wrote almost 200 books (as well as an early treatment of King Kong) before succumbing to swine flu, er, double pneumonia, in 1932. Wallace faded from public consciousness soon after his death (in all honesty, his books are not well written, though they are entertaining), but he remains strangely popular in Germany to this very day. His prodigious output has, nonetheless, spawned a wealth of British and American films, and here's one that doesn't get seen very often. Noah Beery stars as John Holling, captain of the good ship Guthrie, who's relieved of command by ship's owner Grimson (Ralph Lewis) the day before sailing on an important and mysterious experimental voyage. Replaced at the helm by Chief Mate Downey (Boothe Howard) after being stricken with a strange tropical malady, Holling recovers just in time to help detective Pope (Edwin Maxwell) solve an onboard murder. A ripe melodrama directed by William Nigh, Mystery Liner co-stars the reliably florid Gustav von Seyffertitz and features an unusual non-western cameo from George "Gabby" Hayes.
11:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Fanny (1932 FRA): If you enjoyed last month's Marius, here's the second part of Marcel Pagnol's trilogy of French country life. In this chapter, Marius (Raimu) has gone to sea and left a pregnant Fanny (Orane Demazis) in his wake. Concerned about her child's future, Fanny must decide whether to trust in Marius's willingness to be a father and await his return, marry rich and reliable merchant Panisse (Fernand Charpin), or raise a bastard. And yes, gourmands, this IS the film that inspired restaurateur Alice Waters to open the world famous Chez Panisse restaurant (and Cafe Fanny!) in Berkeley.
Monday 05/11/09
5:30 AM MGM HD
Land of Doom (1986 USA): It's a crummy post-Apocalyptic, Mad Max ripoff, but hey - Land of Doom hardly ever shows up on regular TV, and here it is getting the full-blown HD treatment. Directed by Peter Maris, also responsible for Psycho Puppet and Zombie Hunters, Land of Doom may be complete schlock, but it's gonna look great in HD!
6:45 AM Turner Classic Movies
Castle in the Air (1952 GB): A good cast elevates this otherwise rather ho-hum British supernatural comedy. David Tomlinson stars as a Scottish Earl who finds himself laird of a haunted castle and decides to turn a profit by transforming it into a tourist attraction. Also along for the fun: Margaret Rutherford as a suitably dotty tenant who believes the Earl is actually the rightful King of Scotland, Barbara Kelly as a stereotypical ugly American looking to rediscover her Scots heritage, and Brian Oulton as a government bureaucrat hoping to turn the building into a rest home for retired miners. Directed by Henry Cass (Last Holiday, Blood of the Vampire), Castle in the Air is as inconsequential as they come, but good fun nonetheless.
11:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Just My Luck (1957 GB): Fans of toothy British comic Norman Wisdom, set your DVD recorders. All others, steer a wide berth. In this outing, our Norman plays a jeweler's apprentice who falls for a lady window dresser (Jill Dixon), and puts some money on the horses in hopes of winning her heart with an expensive bauble. At first, his bets succeed beyond his wildest dreams - but it all comes down to the result of the sixth race. Will Norman's dream come true - or will he lose his winnings and his woman, too? Co-starring TCM star of the day Margaret Rutherford as well as Leslie Phillips and Joan Sims, Just My Luck is recommended only for those who consider Wisdom irresistible. It's followed at 12:30 PM by an even more obscure British comedy, 1955's An Alligator Named Daisy, in which Large Marge portrays the delightfully named Prudence Croquet opposite sex symbol Diana Dors, portly James Robertson Justice, bespectacled Richard Wattis, and fey Ernest Thesiger.
4:30 PM Showtime
Nursery University (2008 USA): Those stories about the manic New York City parents feverishly working to get their pampered offspring accepted at the city's most prestigious pre-schools? Turns out they're all true, as this terrific documentary makes all too clear. Focusing on the efforts of five families desperate to be given the keys to the kinder kingdom, Nursery University is unintentional comedy gold, as we also get footage of "admissions committees" trying to determine which lucky little toddlers will be ushered through their pearly gates. Also airs at 7:30 PM.