Things We Learned from Movie X
World War II and Holocaust Movies
By Tom Houseman
June 9, 2009
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Considering how little attention I paid in my one high school European History classes, I didn't know too much about the events of World War II or the history of Germany in the 20th Century before 2008. Despite actually being Jewish and attending temple as often as most Jews (meaning exclusively the high holidays) I was painfully unaware of the facts surrounding the near-extermination of my people. Fortunately, after watching three 2008 World War II films, Valkyrie, The Boy in the Striped Pajamas and The Reader, I now consider myself an expert on these subjects. In case you missed these thoroughly depressing, generally unspectacular films, I'm here to fill you in on what historical lessons you could have learned.
1) Everyone in Germany spoke with a British Accent - Learned from: Valkyrie, The Boy in the Striped Pajamas
What's that, you say? You thought that people in Germany spoke some strange non-English dialect commonly referred to as German? What utter nonsense. Everyone knows that everyone in Germany, and in fact, everyone in all of Europe, spoke English. It made it much easier for us Americans to understand what they were saying that way, and the Germans have never been anything if not accommodating. But what you might not have known, at least until you saw The Boy in the Striped Pajamas and Valkyrie, was that Germans spoke with British accents. Men and women, adults and children, Nazis and Jews, all sounded like they wandered over from the set of the latest Harry Potter movie (David Thewlis and Kenneth Branagh even went from playing Lupin and Gilderoy Lockhart to playing Nazis). Thank goodness that they did, otherwise esteemed actors like Eddie Izzard, Bill Nighy, and The Departed's Vera Farmiga could never have starred in them. Of course, there is one qualifier to this otherwise firm rule...
2) Except for Tom Cruise and Hitler - Learned from: Valkyrie
Yes, obviously, most Germans spoke with British accents during the 1930s and ‘40s, but there are two exceptions. The greatest source of evil in the world, Adolf Hitler, was too evil even to speak with a British accent like most Germans. The hatred in his heart seeped into the rest of his body, twisting his vocal chords so that he could only speak with a German accent. And of course, if the ultimate evil doesn't have a British accent, then neither should the ultimate good, the ultimate good here represented by notable Scientologist/nut job/Nazi hunter Tom Cruise. Nobody who is tough enough to plan an assassination of Hitler could speak with a wimpy accent, especially when they are portrayed by the guy from Top Gun. USA all the way!
3) Most Nazis Were Good Guys - Learned from: The Reader, Valkyrie
Or at the very least confused. You see, the Nazis were a jovial bunch, good at following orders, but not so hot at thinking on their feet. They didn't want to execute a plan to exterminate the Jews, but when a short, angry guy with a funny mustache yells at you to do something, it takes you a while to realize you shouldn't do it. Just ask Hanna Schmitz, AKA the German Mrs. Robinson. Yes, she was a bit befuddled by the idea that it was okay to leave a group of Jews in a burning barn, but who was she to disregard orders? After all, she couldn't even read. We can give Claus van Stauffenberg a little bit more credit. Eventually, he realized that the plans of this Hitler guy were a little fishy, and he decided to do something about it. Nobody tries to exterminate the Jews on this Nazi's watch. You see? Nazis were trying to look out for the best interests of my ancestors, it's just that Hitler kept on getting in the way. In fact...
4) Germans and Jews Were Actually Best Friends - Learned From: The Boy in the Striped Pajamas
It's not just the Nazis who were big fans of the Jews, it was pretty much every levelheaded German. Sure, a couple of them were a few fries short of das happy meal, but on the whole, in Germany during World War II, the Christians and the Jews got along like bratwurst and Becks. Even the son of a prominent Nazi became BFFs with a Jewish boy who was actually in a concentration camp at the time. Now that's some serious commitment. His mother was kept in the dark about this budding friendship, but clearly she would have been fully supportive of it. After all, she spent most of her time taking care of the Jewish servants and arguing with her husband, one of the rare Germans who actually agreed with Hitler. And as for the Jews themselves, were they bitter about their impending extermination? Apparently they were just happy to help and eager to provide some entertainment to their captors.
5) Studios are Willing to Forgive Anyone if it Makes for a Good Story - Learned from: All Three of These Movies
The Nazi party committed some of the worst atrocities of the 20th Century, rivaled only by the Soviet army, the Rwandan Hutu extremists, and Celine Dion. For some reason, in 2008, studios in both the Hollywood and the Independent systems decided to focus on loopholes, grey areas, and other ways to explain away the actions of the people responsible for the Holocaust. They didn't know what they were doing, they were following orders, they were swept up in the fervor of the times, they had an eye patch and only one arm... I mean, they tried to rectify their mistakes. Do these filmmakers really believe that it is time to look past the wrongdoings of these people and try to see the bigger picture, or are they just looking for juicy stories guaranteed to tug at the heartstrings of viewers? There might come a time when we can move past these events and forgive, even if we can never forget, but this decision should not be influenced by movie studios still looking to use tragedy to make a quick buck and earn critical acclaim.