Trailer Hitch
By Eric Hughes
October 21, 2009
BoxOfficeProphets.com
The Missing Person – Opens November 27th
Count me in. The excellent Michael Shannon – who wowed me last year in Revolutionary Road (and in my opinion would have claimed Oscar's prize had Heath Ledger not elected to play The Joker in The Dark Knight) – returns here as a leading man in The Missing Person. His character, John Rosow, is a private investigator (and part-time alcoholic) who lands the case of his life. Also in this one are Amy Ryan (known for playing Beadie on The Wire and Michael's clone with female parts, Holly Flax, on The Office) and Merritt Wever, who I was introduced to earlier this year as the loveable intern Zoey Barkow on Showtime's Nurse Jackie.
The trailer doesn't sell much story. Instead, it introduces (rather successfully I might add) its noir-like aesthetic. The Missing Person isn't a period piece by any means (it's set after the events of 9/11), yet it certainly invokes that type of quality with its tailored suits, stiff drinks (a la Mad Men) and beautiful cinematography. I like it.
Grade: A-
Serious Moonlight – Opens December 4th
Meg Ryan and Timothy Hutton star in a rather generic looking Hollywood comedy about the lengths one woman will go to prove to her husband that they've still "got it." When Ryan's character finds out that Hutton has been cheating on her with a young woman (Kristin Bell – a solid choice), Ryan literally ties Hutton up in a small room using duct tape. (Until, of course, Hutton comes to his senses). Based on what we get in the trailer, I'll go ahead and assume he remains there for a majority of the flick. Better yet, maybe Ryan's character goes all Jigsaw on her lover and demands that for sexual freedom, Hutton must escape one of her playful, yet deadly games. Consider it Saw Lite.
Silly is what Serious Moonlight's obviously going for, and that's exactly what's spit back to us in the trailer. If you can without hesitation suspend common sense for a couple of hours, then you'll likely have no problem digesting the movie, which marks the directorial debut of Cheryl Hines. Otherwise, you're in for a long day at the theater.
Grade: D+
The Spy Next Door – Opens January 15th, 2010
Oh, another Jackie Chan comedy? IGNORE! What is about Jackie that everyone – save for me and maybe three other people – finds so hilarious? Hypothetical: If he, for whatever reason, hosted a free stand-up special in town, would you bother to go? And real life example: Did you see when Jackie hosted SNL back in 2000? Do you think it a coincidence that the dude hasn't been invited back? OK then.
I must have drank some of the Haterade today. Let me get my bearings here...
Martial arts extraordinaire Jackie Chan taps his bread and butter genre – the outlandish comedy – in The Spy Next Door, where he plays, of all things, a spy who moonlights as a babysitter. As expected, his status as a spy genius allows for Chan to expectedly mash some inferior beings with his acrobatic stunts – all while ensuring that the kiddies get to bed before it's too dark outside. Because hey, Jackie cannot contractually appear in any Hollywood feature (true story) without showing off why he's physically better than the rest of us.
I'm certainly not the target demo for this one. Even so, The Spy Next Door looks bad. I'd sooner watch a Tuxedo/The Medallion/Around the World in 80 Days triple feature than go and see this movie.
Grade: F
Edge of Darkness – Opens January 29th, 2010
Tom Cruise may still have a ways to go, but Mel Gibson? Welcome back to my good side, brother. Edge of Darkness, Gibson's first thriller in god knows how long, harkens back to the Ransom/Conspiracy Theory/Payback Gibson of yesteryear. It's helmed by the fantastic Martin Campbell, who last time around worked on a little film called Casino Royale.
Based on a six-episode BBC television series of the same name from the 1980s, the expensive Edge of Darkness (weighing in at a hefty $90 million) stars Gibson in a Taken-esque role in which he investigates (and seeks revenge for) the murder of his activist daughter (played by Bojana Novakovic). Along the way, Gibson's character uncovers a slew of conspiracies and shady deals.
Perhaps it's the return of the Gibson badass, but this project really excites me. And, trust me, I'm usually one of the last in line to get pumped for an action movie.
Grade: B+
Dear John – Opens February 5th, 2010
Just in time for Valentine's Day, Dear John is the story of a young soldier gettin' chummy with a college student while on leave. When he's redeployed overseas, the trying couple is forced to correspond through a series of letters. Though they sporadically rekindle their romance during brief encounters together, the penpaling continues for about seven frickin' years. If the premise sounds at all like something crafted by Nicholas Sparks... that's because it is. (Dear John is based on his same name novel from 2006). Don't forget the tissues.
The acting is a bit rigid in the preview. A bulk of the blame rests on Channing Tatum's broad shoulders, as he proves to me here that his acting ability significantly weakens when he's not stepping it up 2 the streets, but rather scooting off 2 a war. No dancing required in this feature. Just guns, ammo and a hot girlfriend (played by Amanda Seyfried).
The project's saving grace, in my opinion, is Richard Jenkins, who plays Tatum's father. From TV shows like Six Feet Under to movies like The Visitor, the man is an impeccable actor.
Grade: D