How to Spend $20
By Eric Hughes
December 29, 2009
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Pick of the Week
For people who fell for Paramount's brilliant ad campaign: Paranormal Activity
In 1999, a brilliant little movie called The Blair Witch Project unexpectedly blew up at the box office, grossing an astoundingly awesome $248 million worldwide for its distributor, Artisan Entertainment. At the time, the shocker of a hit – to say the least – was the most successful independent film ever.
Given that I wasn't even a teenager by the time Blair Witch opened wide, it should come at little to no surprise that I missed out on seeing it on the big screen. (And, at a time when we still thought the thing was real). Flash forward 10 years and Paranormal Activity, acquired by Paramount, was selfishly viewed by me as the very movie that could effectively redeem me for skipping out on one of the biggest cultural phenomenon's of the decade prior.
In September, A baker's dozen's worth of Paranormal Activity screenings were held in college towns nationwide, 12 of which sold out. Then the film's director, Oren Peli, invited Internet surfers to
"demand" the movie on eventful.com, marking the first time a major studio had virally marketed one of its kind in that manner. The move worked brilliantly, as the flick – made for a slim $15,000 – earned more than $500,000 from just 33 locations over three days. The following weekend: $7.9 million from 160 screens. The horror-thriller has since topped $100 million domestically, and another $34 million worldwide.
So I go to the thing, and it's depressingly awful. It failed to exceed (let along approach) my expectations, and is without a doubt one of the most over hyped films I have laid eyes on in quite some time. The amateur camera techniques revolutionized in Blair Witch felt gimmicky in its successor. And, I'm sorry to report, creaky doors and random bumps in the night will never do it for me in the chills department. A third of the way in, I was half convinced I was already viewing the spoof to Paranormal Activity. You know, the movie where chance "house" noises freak out a pair of unfortunate houseguests.
To be fair, Paranormal Activity maintains a high 80%+ approval rating over at Rotten Tomatoes. Just don't ask me how. Disc includes: Alternate ending, digital copy
For fans of the reset button: Glee Season 1 Volume 1: Road to Sectionals
For the first six weeks or so into its debut season, I pretty much identified myself as a full-blown Gleek. I adored Fox's experimental Glee, and applauded Ryan Murphy's ballsy attempt at creating a hit network dramedy that incessantly feasted on catchy music and fun choreography. And, you know, it makes sense for a show like Glee to perform so solidly in the ratings given that Fox, which airs it, relies on immortal successes like American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance? to pump up its adults 18-49 numbers.
After awhile, though, I realized a significant snag: Glee's writers are terrified of writing themselves into teensy, claustrophobic corners. To remedy this, they simply wrap everything up in a neat bow by the end of every episode by removing the "problem of the week" altogether. Oh, Will's wife, Terri, keeps a closer eye on her husband by becoming the school nurse? Absolutely no worries. She's fired at the end of the episode. Will's arch nemesis, Sue Sylvester, becomes
co-director of Glee? No problemo. Her focus returns to her blessed Cheerios in no time. And not a fan of Will's boy band? It's cool. They disband after 30 minutes. I've learned I have more patience for series' that take risks, not ones that remain stagnant.
A special shout-out, however, deservedly goes to Jane Lynch. She's absolute magic as head coach of the cheerleading squad. I recall a particular early episode of Glee that felt like it was lacking big time. It was because Sue had hardly any screen time.
Disc includes: Audition pieces (Rachel sings "On My Own"; Mercedes sings "Respect"), Welcome to McKinley featurette, Casting Session featurette, Deconstructing Glee with Ryan Murphy featurette, Dance Boot Camp featurette
For people who think 20th Century Fox should have just called this one Megan Fox's Body: Jennifer's Body (Unrated)
Jennifer's Body stumbled out of the gate with an underwhelming $6.8 million at the U.S. box office and never fully recovered from it. The Megan Fox vehicle ended up with a $16 million tally stateside, and about the same in foreign sales. Given that it cost a reported $16 million to produce, 20th Century Fox has got to be happy it at least got its money back. Even so, the studio certainly must've expected a little more from Diablo Cody, who last time around earned a Best
Original Screenplay Oscar, plenty of positive press and a heck of a lot of money for a movie that first introduced us to the hamburger phone.
With Zombieland as an exception, it seems horror comedies are still a predominantly tough sell for Hollywood. Disc includes: Theatrical and unrated versions, audio commentary, deleted scenes, Jennifer's Body: The Dead Pool featurette, Cast and Filmmakers' Behind the Scenes Video Diaries featurette, gag reel, Megan Fox Extras featurette, digital copy
For people who find animated offerings like Up to be a tad bit tame: 9
Not to be confused with the similarly titled Nine, which is based on the book for the 1982 Tony Award-winning musical (which itself was derived from an Italian play – let me catch my breath a second – inspired by Federico Fellini's autobiographical 81/2), 9 is that awkward-looking CGI actioner starring burlap dolls living a post-apocalyptic existence. Its title refers to the "name" of the movie's lead character (voiced by Elijah Wood), who rallies the other
burlap dolls to take to the offensive against machines that roam the earth.
Released on a Wednesday to take full advantage of a 9-9-09 marketing ploy, 9 managed just $3.1 million on its opening day (and $15.1 million total after five days). I partially missed out on seeing this one in theaters because it looked so freakin' strange. Well that, and its 50/50 split with critics. Disc includes: 9: The Long and Short of It featurette, The Look of 9
featurette, Acting Out featurette, deleted scenes, 9: The Original Short featurette, audio commentary, On Tour with Shane Acker featurette
December 29, 2009
Blu-ray
9
The Assembly
Jennifer's Body (Unrated)
The Marine 2
Paranormal Activity
A Perfect Getaway (Director's Cut)
Time Warp: Season 2
Versus
DVD
9
Au Pair 3: Adventure in Paradise
Bad Boys 1 & 2 (Special Edition)
Carriers
Emily of New Moon: The Complete Second Season
A Few Good Men / Jerry Maguire (Double Feature)
Gilligan's Island: Seasons 1 & 2 (Side-By-Side)
Glee Season 1 Volume 1: Road to Sectionals
Jennifer's Body (Unrated)
Last Cup: Road to the World Series of Beer Pong (Widescreen)
The Marine / The Marine 2 (Double Feature)
The Marine 2 (Widescreen)
My Girl 1 & 2 (Double Feature)
Paranormal Activity
A Perfect Getaway (Unrated Director's Cut)
Spaceballs: The Totally Warped Animated Adventures
Time Warp: Season 2
The United States of Tara: The First Season
Versus