Viking Night
Swingers
By Bruce Hall
February 10, 2010
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Russ Morgan – and later Frank Sinatra - once sang that "you're nobody till somebody loves you." That's easy for Sinatra to say. But millions of people live by the sentiment every day, and not just because The Chairman said so. For many of us, no matter where we go, what we do or how much we achieve in life, it is of little meaning until we have someone to share it with. There is probably a degree of truth to the idea, but should we take it literally? Should we assume that until we've found someone to spend the rest of our life with that the rest of our life isn't meaningful? It's a tragic paradox because reality suggests that sitting around hating yourself for being alone is one of the best ways to stay alone. Learning to be content with yourself without the approval or consent of others is an ideal way to develop the emotional maturity you're going to need in order to maintain a healthy, long term relationship. But sometimes society tells us something different, and like any culture, what entertains us is often indicative of what we value. And romantic comedies have been entertaining us for generations now; doing their part to make us feel as though being single is a disease.
Sometimes entertaining and sometimes frustrating, romantic comedies are most often made to appeal to women. The typical "rom-com" revolves around a young lady who has made the "tragic" mistake of trying to lead a fulfilling, meaningful life without a man at the center of it. The poor gal is often portrayed as a bumbling klutz or a callous career woman, seemingly doomed to a series of bad dates and disastrous relationships. Personally, I've always felt that if everyone you date is an unpleasant person, this means that you are attracted to unpleasant people – but what do I know; I don't make movies, I just write about them. It usually becomes pretty clear by the end of the first act that there's only one thing that can cure our girl's physical coordination issues and make those long office hours – and indeed her life itself rewarding – and that's the love of a good man. And not just any man; he will be a man who's sensitive enough to understand what it means to be a woman. I am no activist, but I can't help but wonder how many women find such stereotypes a little distasteful. But this is a very lucrative genre of film and to be fair, like any style of art, you can probably find more bad examples than good ones. It's obvious that plenty of us enjoy romance, even the implausible kind we see in the movies. And if there's any kind of movie you really shouldn't consider plausible, it's this kind.
But many of us do, taking to heart the fallacy that there's something wrong with you if you're not married by the time you're 30, or you're the only one of your friends who's single at 40. I think we'd all like to find true love, but not every woman is made out of ice cream and rainbows and even the ones who are probably wouldn't really be interested in a man who was. And speaking of men, where do romantic comedies usually leave us? Though I often sit through them to please someone else, there are plenty I could name that I know I have enjoyed immensely. Waitress, Sideways and High Fidelity come to mind, but even these are films that are engineered to appeal primarily to women or to men who already have women in their lives. Where are the films for single guys with high standards who don't want to be with someone just to be with someone? What if you're the type of guy who isn't necessarily a hopeless romantic but you'd like to meet a girl who's not interested in "settling"? What if you're interested in someone who'd rather not spend the rest of their life trapped in a mediocre relationship, waking up each morning next to someone they do love, but also know would be better off with someone else? If you're already married I would recommend something featuring John Cusack. If you have a PhD you might want to check out Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. But if you're still young and single, or just want to remember the good old days when you were, I'd recommend that you revisit Swingers.
Quietly released in 1996, Swingers is not the sort of film many people think of as obscure; after all I don't know anyone who takes a trip to Las Vegas without quoting one of several memorable lines from this movie, whether they've actually seen it or not. But in fact Swingers was the sort of film that very few people paid attention to until several years later, when positive word-of-mouth helped popularize it on video. If you're like me, your first exposure to it was on VHS, when you looked down at the box and were surprised to find that the film you just laughed yourself silly watching was three or four years old. Even today, what sticks with most people about the film is Vince Vaughn's oily, lounge lizard lady-killer. They remember a lot of male bonding but forget that at its heart, Swingers was a romantic comedy, sans the romance. This is because Swingers wasn't just any romantic comedy, it was one made almost exclusively for the amusement of young, single men – and that in and of itself makes it unusual.
The story centers on Mikey, a struggling East Coast comedian who's traveled to Los Angeles seeking fame and fortune. Having left behind a promising long term relationship to make the trip, Mike is having a tough time coming to terms with his choice, and with the brutal reality of show business. He belongs to a close knit circle of friends who all struggle with the same issues, but Mikey is the only one who can't seem to pull himself together and deal with defeat. Where his friends are mostly outgoing playboys, Mike is the sensitive, emotionally fragile type that seems ill suited for a life on stage. But his friends stand behind him and do their best to put "Little Mikey" in situations where he can meet women and be successful. Unfortunately, Mike spends his time mooning over his lost love, and brooding over his stalled career. He is uneasy with the ladies, constantly second guessing himself and tripping over his words every time he opens his mouth. In fact, some of the funniest parts of Swingers are the parts that aren't. Mikey's intimacy issues make for some of the most uncomfortable - and memorable scenes in the film. And conversley, his gang's madcap late night adventures provide some of the movie's most powerful and poignant moments.
The most refreshing thing about Swingers is that the film unabashedly embraces its highs and lows and isn't afraid to be unconventional in their application. Scenes are set up for laughs or for tension, but you're not always certain whether they'll end that way. Sometimes you want to chuckle at what you're seeing and sometimes you want to put your head in your hands. It gives the movie a pleasantly unpredictable ebb and flow; Mike's histrionics are close to ubearable at times but you feel for the guy – he really isn't a good comedian but he tries hard and he's got a big heart. That's why you find yourself on his side, and that's why his friends stick by him as well, and in the most ideal of times, that's what men do. One could argue that most of us share many of the same negative traits – we're stubborn, afraid of our emotions and often ruled by aggression. But when we're at our best we share with our friends and family the same sense of loyalty, brotherhood and tradition. All of the men of Swingers may be adults but emotionally they're still kids, trying to find their way in a hostile environment, and Mike is their most vulnerable member. Yet they rally around him, and even though it's easy to abandon your friends when their pain makes you uncomfortable, it's the ability to empathize that makes us all – men and women alike – able to understand one another when push comes to shove.
Swingers has aged well – there are some distinctly '90s aspects to the film that seem quaint but since I'm as Generation X as they come, I enjoy the reminiscence. It's good fun to remember the time when Quentin Tarantino was just "that guy who made Reservoir Dogs," nobody could afford a cell phone and you were still young enough to think that the whole world fit into one ZIP code. For the most part Swingers steers clear of the hackneyed conventions present in most female oriented romantic comedies – the implausible situations, diluted reality, over exposition of plot, et cetera. But if you're a relatively well adjusted guy, you will recognize every character in this movie as someone you once knew – or perhaps still do! Swingers does indulge in a bit of fancy, as do all romantic comedies. Mikey's friends are probably more tolerant of him than is realistic; I know when I got divorced my friends couldn't change their phone numbers fast enough. As men we don't like to get involved in each other's drama – but the bonds we share with our closest friends are as important to us as they are to women. We hurt, we bleed and we long for affection the same as the fairer sex; we just don't like to talk about it - and we prefer to characterize it in ways that make us seem more vigorous than we really are.
But by the end of Swingers, one thing should be evident to all but the most jaded of moviegoers and it's that while he sang a great song, Old Blue Eyes had it all wrong. All the people in the world can love you, but until you're content with yourself you will always be "nobody". We're never quite sure whether Mikey is going to be okay, but that probably isn't the point. The point is that in the end it isn't up to anyone but Mikey what kind of man he's going to be and in my case, it isn't up to anyone but me either. We all end up with the person we deserve, and the type of person that turns out to be depends on who we are when we meet them. Rather than despise ourselves for our failures, it's probably more productive to have faith in our potential. We can't all be stars but nobody has to be a failure – and as long as you believe in yourself and you are loved by others, you are guaranteed to make a difference. Maybe the song should have been called "You're Nobody till you Learn to Love Yourself."
If you can come to believe that then in the end, I'd think even Little Mikey would say that "you're so money you don't even know it."