TiVoPlex
TiVoPlex for Tuesday April 13 2010 through Monday April 19 2010
By John Seal
April 12, 2010
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Tuesday 04/13/10
6:00 PM Sundance
World According to Monsanto (2008 FRA): This just in: big multi-national corporations are not good for animals, children, or other living things. Today's case in point: Monsanto, the world's leading exponent of agricultural biotechnology and genetically engineered seed, otherwise known as Frankenfood. What, no Booberry? This documentary adopts the take no prisoners approach toward Monsanto, ripping the company for everything from PCBs and Dioxin to the awful Bovine Growth Hormone, which promotes unfeasibly large udders (in cows) and clinical mastitis (in humans—or perhaps it's the other way around). You'll never look at your milk--or your corn, or your beef, or just about anything else you put into your body--quite the same way again. Also airs 4/18 at 8:00 AM.
10:00 PM Flix
Coffee and Cigarettes (2003 USA): It's little more than a collection of skits featuring famous friends of the filmmaker, but Coffee and Cigarettes is vintage Jim Jarmusch. Shot in rich black-and-white, it's a flawed but worthy successor to Jarmusch's Ghost Dog: Way of the Samurai, which marked a return to form for the shock-haired director. A few of these segments don't work: Meg and Jack White display a complete lack of on-camera charisma, and Roberto Benigni's shtick is rapidly wearing thin. But the film picks up steam mid-way with a gut-busting face-off between Hollywood star Alfred Molina and a desperate Alan Partridge...er, Steve Coogan, a mordant exchange between Bill Murray and rappers RZA and GZA, and a slightly surreal but enchanting chat twixt Bill Rice and Taylor Mead. You'll be hard-pressed to finish watching this film without breaking into a satisfied grin. Also airs 4/18 at 1:45 PM.
Wednesday 04/14/10
3:00 AM Fox Movie Channel
Swamp Water (1941 USA): Jean Renoir's first American film, Swamp Water is the work of a master director struggling to adapt to a new and unfamiliar language. Partly shot on location in Georgia's Okefenokee Swamp, the film features Dana Andrews as Ben Regan, a fur trapper searching for his lost pooch in the aforementioned wilderness. Instead of Fido, however, Ben meets fugitive from justice Tom Keefer (Walter Brennan), a convicted murderer who convinces his new friend to keep his whereabouts a secret—even from mousy daughter Julie (tousle-haired Anne Baxter). The melodramatics are far from convincing, but Brennan is excellent, as is Walter Huston as Ben's intriguingly named father Thursday, and the supporting cast—including John Carradine, Ward Bond, Guinn ‘Big Boy' Williams, and Eugene Pallette—non-pareil.
5:00 PM HBO2
Making the Crooked Straight (2008 CAN): I generally avoid short subjects in the TiVoPlex, but I'll make an exception for this excellent, life-affirming 30-minute documentary. Making the Crooked Straight examines the good works of Dr. Rick Hodes, a Johns Hopkins grad who's spent the last twenty years working in Ethiopia. Inspired by the tenets of Orthodox Judaism, Dr. Rick specializes in treating tuberculosis of the spine, a particularly nasty variant of the disease which leaves its victims hunch-backed and suffocating beneath their own weight. In addition to paying for numerous life-saving surgeries, Hodes has also fostered seventeen children. Sounds like one of the good guys to me. Also airs at 8:00 PM.
Thursday 04/15/10
12:30 AM Encore
Girls Just Want to Have Fun (1985 USA): Though she doesn't appear in it (and her version of the title song isn't featured on the film's soundtrack), Cyndi Lauper's infectious 1984 pop hit was the inspiration for this goofy grrrl-power comedy. Sarah Jessica Parker stars as Janey, daughter of Colonel Glenn (Ed Lauter), a stick up his ass military man who doesn't approve of young folks getting their groove on. Janey, however, is determined to put in an appearance on television's most popular hoofing hour, Dance T.V., and is encouraged to break Daddy's rules by wicked best friend Lynne (Helen Hunt). If Breakin' and Flashdance still float your boat, you'll definitely want to mark time with Girls Just Want to Have Fun. Also airs at 3:30 AM.
1:30 AM Turner Classic Movies
Norman...is That You? (1976 USA): Redd Foxx stars as the homophobic father of a gay son in this occasionally amusing, sometimes wince-inducing, decidedly non-p.c. comedy. Hilarious complications ensue when old-fashioned Arizonan Ben Chambers (Foxx) drops by to visit son Norman (Michael Warren) at his new L.A. digs and discovers he has a ‘roommate'—swishy Garson (Dennis Dugan). The light dawns slowly for Ben, who's in the midst of his own relationship crisis with wife Beatrice (Pearl Bailey), but once the truth sinks in he decides to hire a hooker to help Norman straighten out and fly right. The film is painfully out-of-date, but Foxx is always watchable, and former basketball star Warren makes a decent if thankless effort at essaying the role of a non-effeminate gay man. Also on hand: Amazon Tamara Dobson as the woman of the night (if SHE can't scare a gay man straight, no-one can) and Wayland Flowers sans Madam.
3:30 PM IFC
Every Thing You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* But Were Afraid to Ask (1972 USA): Woody Allen's comic interpretation of the then-popular sex manual of the same name remains almost as funny today as it was in 1972. A series of seven unrelated skits, ETYAWTKASBWATA's highlights include Gene Wilder's troubled relationship with a sheep, Lou Jacobi as a cross-dressing middle class husband, and the film's appropriately titled climax, the sci-fi themed What Happens During Ejaculation? If you prefer your Allen Bananas-goofy to Manhattan po-faced, you'll love Every Thing You Always Wanted to Know About Sex*.
Friday 04/16/10
6:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Chance at Heaven (1933 USA): Ginger Rogers and Joel McCrea are a button-cute couple in this passable Great Depression-era small-town drama. McCrea plays gas station operator Blacky, who takes girlfriend Marj (Rogers) for granted: she mothers her man endlessly, but he doesn't fully appreciate her efforts. When transient rich girl Gloria (Marion Nixon) gets into an auto wreck and needs professional assistance, Blacky's there for her—and then follows her to the big city after he decides he needs a sophisticated woman in his life. But not to worry: he soon realizes that there's more to life than evening gowns and art deco décor, and soon returns to sweet, patient Marj. Though why she bothered to wait for him, I'm not sure.
10:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
The Silencers (1966 USA): The first of Dean Martin's Matt Helm quadrilogy makes its widescreen television debut this evening. It's by far the best of the four Helm films—Dino at least makes an effort to play things straight in this one—but the series was never in any danger of being mistaken for 007's best. In The Silencers, Helm is brought out of retirement to put paid to a diabolical plot hatched by the evil Big O, a criminal organization led by Tung-Tze (Victor Buono in yellow face). Their scheme: to set of a nuclear explosion above Alamogordo, spark a war between the US and the USSR, and seize control of the planet from the weakened super-powers. The women: Daliah Lavi and Stella Stevens as barely acceptable eye candy and red herrings. The gadgets: unimpressive, to say the least, as the film was apparently burdened with a TV-Movie-of-the-Week level budget. Fans of Martin's louche martini-sipping persona will no doubt enjoy The Silencers; all others are advised to have a few martinis of their own before tuning in.
Saturday 04/17/10
7:30 AM Turner Classic Movies
News Hounds (1947 USA): Slip and Sach apply their questionable skills to the newspaper trade in Chapter 7 of the Bowery Boys saga. The two are on undercover assignment to get the scoop on a gambling ring, but trouble arrives when their target files a multi-million dollar libel lawsuit. Can the Boys prove their allegations—or will the New York Daily Chronicle suffer bankruptcy at the hands of Dapper Dan (Anthony Caruso) and his gang of miscreants?
Sunday 04/18/10
7:00 PM Sundance
Pan's Labyrinth (2006 ESP): Little introduction is necessary for Guillermo del Toro's terrific Spanish Civil War fable Pan's Labyrinth, so I won't overburden you with unnecessary plot details. Needless to say, this is one of the most remarkable fantasy films of recent vintage, featuring superb performances by wistful Ivana Baquero as a lonely 12-year-old trying to find her place in an unfriendly world, the great Sergi Lopez as her rotten to the core fascist stepfather, and genre vet Doug Jones (Hellboy's Abe Sapien) as a variety of extremely odd imaginary (?) creatures. Offering far more food for thought than your average run of the mill chiller, Pan's Labyrinth will, nonetheless, be a heavy slog for some, as del Toro is not afraid to lay on plenty of blood when necessary. An almost perfect blend of horror and fine art, Pan's Labyrinth makes its widescreen American television premiere this evening. Also airs 4/19 at midnight.
9:00 PM Sundance
Subject Two (2006 USA): A brisk horror variation on the Groundhog Day meme, this low budget thriller features Christian Oliver as Adam Schmidt, a med student unashamed of failing his course in ethics. Adam is convinced that mankind's lot can be improved immeasurably if he's allowed to take the latex gloves off, and an opportunity arises when he's contacted by Dr. Franklin Vick (Dean Stapleton), who invites Adam to participate in some shady experimentation of his own at a remote, snowbound lab. The only catch: Adam's not a collaborator, but the subject of the experiments, which involve a drug that can resurrect the dead over...and over...and over again. At first, it seems like a great breakthrough has been made, but as Adam suffers repeated deaths in the name of science, he begins to wonder whether he shouldn't have paid more attention in class after all. This low budget indie will appeal to admirers of Larry Fessenden, and airs again 4/19 at 2:00 AM.
9:30 PM Fox Movie Channel
Best of the Best 2 (1993 USA): Eric Roberts returns as martial artist Alex Grady in this middling action flick, which I believe is making its widescreen television premiere this evening. This time out, Alex is determined to avenge the death of a pal at the hands of Neanderthal brute Brakus (Ralf Moeller). This is one of those films where well-oiled hunks engage in no holds barred brawls in secret arenas populated by Mad Max extras, supposedly in Las Vegas. Also along for the fun: Chris Penn as not-dead buddy Travis, Meg Foster as gal pal Sue, and Wayne Newton as the master of ceremonies.
Monday 04/19/10
8:50 PM Starz
Moon (2009 GB): Sam Rockwell delivers a bravura performance in this intelligent science-fiction thriller from writer-director Duncan ‘Zowie Bowie' Jones. Rockwell, whose performance won him near-universal plaudits, plays astronaut Sam Bell, about to return to Earth upon completion of his three-year term of duty harvesting energy on the Moon. Completely bereft of human contact, Sam has only the voice of computer assistant GERTY (Kevin Spacey) to keep him company, and has reached the end of his mental tether. With only days to go before returning to his family on Earth, however, Sam gets into an accident—and begins to doubt both his sanity and the trustworthiness of his employer, Lunar Industries. If you tune in expecting space opera, you're going to be sorely disappointed, but for those who prefer their science fiction cerebral, Moon is a real winner. Rockwell is superb, Jones' script thought provoking, and Clint Mansell's score evocative and creepy. Sadly overlooked at this year's Academy Awards, Moon definitely rates as one of the top films of 2009. Also airs at 11:50 PM.