A-List: Movie Characters in Need of a Spin-Off
By Josh Spiegel
June 3, 2010
BoxOfficeProphets.com

When in doubt, always do whatever makes the guy with the grenade happy.
This weekend, the Judd Apatow comedy train keeps on chugging, with an all-new R-rated comedy called Get Him To The Greek. This movie is the first among the many that Apatow’s produced, written, or directed that’s a full-on spin-off. Yes, for those of you who haven’t seen the raunchy 2008 comedy Forgetting Sarah Marshall, you may not know that the wild rock star in Get Him To The Greek is not only played by an actor from both films, Russell Brand, but that the character is the exact same person. Aldous Snow was first introduced in Sarah Marshall, and now he’s the main focus. Jonah Hill, who also appeared in Forgetting Sarah Marshall but isn’t playing the same character, co-stars with Brand in Get Him To The Greek, which may or may not be great (fingers crossed for the former), but is certainly a unique movie.

There was a time when spin-offs were all the rage on television, but it’s rare indeed for a movie to have a corresponding spin-off. There are always rumors, but when we’ve only known a character for a few hours, as opposed to a decade or so, it’s harder for a fully realized world to be created around said character. There’s a reason why, for example, Frasier was such a popular sitcom, as the show’s writers were given a nine-year head start on creating a show around Kelsey Grammer. The same can’t be said for pretty much every movie character. This week’s A-List endeavors to figure out what great movie character would be deserving of a spin-off film. Aldous Snow is certainly a funny character - and the scene-stealer of Forgetting Sarah Marshall - but there are far more deserving fictional folk to get a spin-off. Let’s see who they are.

Brick Tamland

Friends, there was a time when Steve Carell wasn’t a huge star. It’s hard to believe, I know, but true. For a long time, the only way you’d see him be funny was as a correspondent on Comedy Central’s The Daily Show. Once he moved onto movies, though, he was immediately known as a force to be reckoned with. One of his first starring vehicles is one of the rare spin-off movies, Evan Almighty, and though that was a major failure, it only came about because of how amazing he was in his few short minutes in Bruce Almighty as a pompous reporter whose mouth gets taken over by a prankish Jim Carrey. That said, Carell’s best film character who didn’t already have a movie would have to be another scene-stealer: Brick Tamland from Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy.

We know from the end of Anchorman that Brick would go on to be married, have kids, and be an advisor in the George W. Bush administration. Carell can obviously hold his own as a leading man, but movies like Evan Almighty prove that the man is far funnier when he’s not being the straight man. Even on The Office, he’s not a straight man, he’s the catalyst for humor. Brick Tamland, as established in Anchorman, could never be the straight man. He might think he is, but we all know that would never happen. What’s more, the story of how Brick gets into politics is a perfect 21st-century way of telling the story of Being There, a story about a childlike gardener who stumbles into being incredibly popular simply by people assuming his nature belies brilliance. Brick Tamland would be a great way to start this story. Are you listening, Steve Carell and Will Ferrell?

Zeus Carver

I suppose I could be the only one, but I genuinely enjoy Die Hard With A Vengeance. The movie’s not perfect (the first hour of the film is really great, but once Jeremy Irons’ character dominates by being visible, instead of just a voice on a phone, it slows down a bit), but one of the many things that works is the combination of Bruce Willis as John McClane and Samuel L. Jackson, who’s going to show up on this list again, as Zeus Carver, the unassuming yet tough pawn shop owner who ends up ensnared in the deadly game of Simon Says McClane has to deal with. Zeus is introduced as a shrewd customer, a denizen of Harlem in the mid-1990s who knows full well about the problems he and his family would have to deal with when the cops come around. He’s honest, but you wouldn’t want to cross him. I can’t see him getting involved in another life-threatening action story, but I do have an idea for a story.

You’ve probably heard of, if not seen, Lean On Me, the movie about a tough high school principal played by Morgan Freeman, and the forceful tactics he uses to get his point home to the troublemaking students in his school. It’s pretty clear to me that Zeus Carver, while not being as physically imposing (at least in the third Die Hard movie, where Jackson manages to make him seem tough, but not nearly as scary as most of the characters he tends to play), would put the fear of God in the kids in his neighborhood. He’s already gotten his nephews to do so in the beginning of the movie, so why not a whole story about the world of hurt he’s got to bring down on the gangs in Harlem after his exploits with John McClane? Zeus is just another bad son of a bitch, and you don’t want to mess with him, guys.

Lando Calrissian

I know that we’re all asking for trouble by going anywhere near the Star Wars franchise, but if there’s a character we could follow forward after we’ve all said good-bye to Luke Skywalker, Leia, and Han Solo, it’s gotta be Lando Calrissian. I realize that, thanks to Billy Dee Williams being about 30 years too old to play the part anymore, this could never happen. But Lando was as roguish as Han Solo, and just as much a bad-ass. I’m not sure I’d want to see Luke Skywalker again; despite being a great Jedi, he was a bit too whiny even as an adult. Han will be too busy with Leia, and anyone who has seen the Star Wars Holiday Special knows that putting Chewbacca as the lead is a bad idea if you don’t speak Wookiee. So why not Lando? We could go back to Cloud City, or anywhere else Lando chose to hang his hat.

I can’t say what the plot would be, but I have two further suggestions. The first is obvious: George Lucas would only be involved as a producer, and a figurehead producer at that. Lucas created an amazing world in 1977, but The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi prove that he’s not the only one who can make the world believable. Keep him out, aside from writing and signing the checks. Here’s the other suggestion: don’t hesitate to recast Lando. Williams is too old, and who could fill his shoes? One name, folks: Donald Glover. If you’ve been paying attention this week, you know that Glover, a co-star on Community and ex-writer from 30 Rock, has been lobbying on Twitter and Facebook to audition for the reboot of the Spider-Man series. There’s been some hullabaloo about the idea (I’m all for it, not just because he’s talented; why not a black actor?), but if it doesn’t work out, he’d make an awesome Lando Calrissian. Essentially, let’s make Donald Glover a star, huh?

Inigo Montoya

We can all agree that The Princess Bride is a great movie, right? The contrarians can just skip ahead to the final choice, because if you’re not a fan…well, I’ll just cry a bit for you folks. Anyway, now that we’ve got just the fans here, I’ll be honest: it’s a bit hard to choose Inigo Montoya, the gifted swordsman out for vengeance, over the other great characters in The Princess Bride, but think about the possibilities: the movie ends with Inigo being given the great honor of being the Dread Pirate Roberts by Westley, the previous holder of the title. Now, despite how the character is initially described, this guy’s not so fearsome: it’s all about maintaining appearances and seeming scary, instead of actually being scary. So Inigo, while a deft hand at the sword, wouldn’t be a menace in this new movie. He would, however, be a badass pirate.

Frankly, a spin-off starring Inigo as the Dread Pirate Roberts wouldn’t need to feature any of the other characters. I mean, it’d be great to see Westley again, but do we need to see him? Inigo could certainly face down Prince Humperdinck, but let’s get some fresh villainy in here. There are whole new characters to introduce here: who would ride with Inigo on his new ship? What would they try to pillage? Who would they try to recruit to their cause? There are stories aplenty here, even if we’re never going to get them. Who could play this iconic role, and pull it off nearly as well as Mandy Patinkin did? If Sam Rockwell could do a believable accent, maybe he could pull it off, but it’s iffy. This one’s a pipe dream, but a nice one; until someone comes along who’s the next Inigo, we’re just going to have to wile away the days and wonder what could have been.

Jules Winnfield

“First, I’m going to deliver this case to Marcellus, then, basically, I’m going to walk the Earth.” “What do you mean, walk the Earth?” “You know, like Caine in Kung Fu.” Pulp Fiction is one of the best movies ever made, and Jules Winnfield is easily the film’s best character in a sea of already dynamic and fresh characters. Jules is a hitman who’s becoming reformed by the film’s last storyline. Though he uses force to get out of a robbery, Jules doesn’t do so with his gun, and wants to move onto a better part of his life. Quentin Tarantino, the film’s writer and director, has often opined that he’d love to do a film about the Vega brothers, played by John Travolta and Michael Madsen (yes, apparently, his character in Reservoir Dogs is a Vega). But why not Jules? It’s certainly not something we can attribute to Tarantino and Samuel L. Jackson not getting along, as they’ve worked since that film.

It’s also not something having to do with Jackson being picky with his movies. Though the man could a) beat my ass without breaking a sweat and b) can be an excellent performer, he was in a movie about snakes on a plane. I don’t think Jackson phones it in, but his taste in films is questionable, at best. Nowadays, he’s going to be appearing in Marvel movies as Nick Fury, but all that proves is that he’s still enough of a badass to be Jules Winnfield again. What did Jules do after he and Vincent left the diner? We know that Vincent would end up in an apartment bathroom, soon to be shot by Bruce Willis. We know from the chronology of the film that Jules goes to meet Marcellus after the diner, but what next? The adventures of Mr. Winnfield could easily make up a series of movies, let alone one. Walking the Earth could be plenty entertaining, guys.