How to Spend $20
By Eric Hughes
October 5, 2010
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Pick of the Week
For people who think Freddy Krueger should only be played by Robert Englund: A Nightmare on Elm Street
Good god, A Nightmare on Elm Street was by far the worst of the recent horror remakes to come out of Hollywood in recent years (the Halloweens, Friday the 13th and My Bloody Valentine included). This was the only one I actively laughed at, mostly because of the movie’s tremendously trite script.
Some gems:
- Kris: I'm having these dreams... and there's this man... and he's burned.
- Kris: I’m so afraid. All I want to do is go to sleep, but if I do he’s going to kill me like Dean.
- Quentin: Wake up Nancy wake up. Nancy please. Please don't do this please, Nancy come back, please wake up you promised.
- Nancy: Memories don't kill you.
They’re all out of context, and without the driving visuals, it’s probably hard to imagine what made them so funny in the first place. But trust me. Or don’t, because I’m about 77% sure you’re gonna want your 95 minutes (and, well, money) back.
At one time, I saw the original Nightmare on Elm Street. It’s been awhile, so I can’t tell you how much the remake borrowed from the original. Yet, based on what I’ve read, the people behind the update changed very little from Wes Craven’s 1984 baby. So much so that the unoriginality of the whole thing is troubling. And the project’s status as a cash grab? Obvious.
For the ill informed, A Nightmare on Elm Street is the story of a group of teens who realize that if they fall asleep, they’ll likely die at the hands of deranged villain Freddy Krueger, whose choice weapon is a right hand aesthetically similar to Wolverine’s.
DVD includes: Freddy Krueger Reborn featurette, alternative opening, alternate ending, additional scene
For people who live amongst cursed furniture and other household items: Beauty and The Beast (Special Edition) [Blu-ray]
Like A Nightmare on Elm Street, it’s been way too long since I’ve seen Beauty and the Beast. It isn’t my favorite of that string of Disney musicals of the early ‘90s – that title is bestowed to The Lion King – but it’s probably the runner-up.
I remember watching the crap out of Beauty and the Beast as a kid. I mean really, I must’ve seen the flick 50 times or more. Because as a child, just about nothing gets old. This is the reason I could sit through hours and hours of Mac and Me or Short Circuit 2. Or, read my Calvin and Hobbes books end to end (and so on). It’s so fresh and funny every time!
Beauty and the Beast had the distinct honor of becoming the industry’s first animated movie to receive an Academy Award nomination for Best Picture. Eighteen years later, Up would do the same – but, mind you, with the benefit of five extra nomination spaces.
Now all you folks with your fancy Blu-ray players and HDTVs can have the benefit of re-watching the movie with the quality you probably remember seeing it in during its 1991 run in theaters. The special edition Blu-ray disc, with never-seen alternate opening and deleted scenes, comes out today.
However, I must say: How else can this movie begin?
DVD includes: Composing a Classic featurette, all-new music video, never before seen alternate opening, never before seen deleted scenes, Disney sing-along, audio commentary, Beyond Beauty featurette, enchanted musical game challenge, Bonjour, Who is This? game
For people who can catch a pestering fly out of the air with chopsticks: The Karate Kid
I realized I was a little out of touch when The Karate Kid remake managed to earn back its $40 million budget over its opening weekend alone. Actually, it only needed two days to do so. Over the traditional three-day weekend, the Jaden Smith-starrer grossed $56 million. It ended with more than $175 million from the domestic box office. A sequel, of course, is already in the works.
I say out of touch because the little ditty was never on my radar. Sure, I enjoyed the originals like everyone else at the time, but I couldn’t see the purpose of Columbia redoing itself 16 years later. I also knew the fighting technique in the movie was kung fu – not karate – and I couldn’t get past the intentional typo.
In the movie, Taraji P. Henson plays a single mother who, because of work, moves to China with her young son. There in his new home, the boy embraces kung fu, taught to him by martial arts master Jackie Chan.
DVD includes: Chinese Lesson featurette, Justin Biever music video, The Making Of featurette, alternate ending, Go On Set with Jackie Chan featurette, Train with Jaden Smith featurette, interactive map of China
For people who think the world would be much more interesting with some new animals: Splice
A movie I’ve been meaning to see is Splice, the generally well-reviewed sci-fi/horror flick that seemed to open in domestic theaters with little fanfare back in June. After a $7.4 million opening weekend, the pic ended with $23.6 million – short of its $30 million budget.
The word on the movie from people who had seen it seems to be all about some strange, uncomfortable sex scene. Knowing the movie is about scientists who splice together the DNA of different animals – including humans – to create new hybrid animals, I’ll venture to say it’s probably a hookup between Adrien Brody and some weird half-human thing. That dog.
DVD includes: A Director’s Playground: Vincenzo Natali on the Set of Splice featurette
October 5, 2010
Blu-ray
30 Days Of Night / Prom Night
30 Days of Night: Dark Days
Across The Universe / The Other Boleyn Girl
Are We There Yet? / Daddy Day Camp
Bad Biology
Baseball: The Tenth Inning
Battle Of Britain
Beauty And The Beast (Special Edition)
Blue Mountain State: Season One
Bones: The Complete Fifth Season
Bram Stoker's Dracula / Wolf
Catch & Release / It Could Happen To You
Chick Flick 3-Pack
Comedy Collection
Dead By Dawn 3 / Insight of Evil
Delgo
Donnie Brasco / Arlington Road
The Exorcist (Extended Edition)
Extreme Action Collection
Fantasy Collection
Fingerprints
First Sunday / Little Man
The Good, The Bad And The Ugly
Grindhouse (Special Edition)
Groundhog Day / So I Married An Axe Murderer
Grudge / Silent Hill
Hancock / Ghost Rider
Hitch / Jerry Maguire
Home Alone Complete Caper Collection
Home of the Brave
The Human Centipede
In the Line of Fire / The Devil's Own
The Karate Kid
Kurokami Animation: Part 3
La Femme Nikita / Run Lola Run
Last Exile: The Complete Series
The Last Of The Mohicans
The Last Rights of Ransom Pride
Mad Max
Made of Honor / Jane Austen Book Club
The Maltese Falcon
The Mel Brooks Collection
National Geographic: Journey to Shark Eden
Navy SEALs
A Nightmare on Elm Street
The Oxford Murders
Peanuts Classic Holiday Collection
The Pink Panther 2
Premonition / Untraceable
RoboCop 3
Robocop Trilogy
Rocky Includes DVD
Rocky II
Rocky IV
Rocky V
Romantic Comedy Collection
Ronin
Sci-Fi Collection
The Secret of Kells
SG-U Stargate Universe: The Complete 1st Season
Sisters
Splice
Surf's Up / Water Horse: Legend of the Deep
Thalia: Thalia En Primera Fila
The Thomas Crown Affair
Tomboys
The Treasure Of The Sierra Madre
Troll 2 (20th Anniversary Edition)
UFC: Ultimate Submissions
Walk Hard / You Don't Mess with the Zohan
War Hero Collection
The Year Without a Santa Claus
DVD
30 Days of Night: Dark Days
All in the Family: The Complete Seventh Season
Beauty And The Beast (Special Edition)
Blue Mountain State: Season One
Bones: The Complete Fifth Season
Cake Boss: Season 2
Caprica: Season 1.0
Delgo
The Exorcist (Extended Edition)
The Exorcist (Director's Cut)
Grindhouse (Special Edition)
Gunsmoke: The Fourth Season, Volume 1
The Happening / The Omen / Shutter (Triple Feature)
Hide & Seek / The Omen (Double Feature)
HIT Favorites: Jolly Holiday
Hitch / Jerry Maguire (Double Feature)
Home Alone Complete Caper Collection
The Human Centipede
Independence Day (Collector's Edition)
The Karate Kid
Last Exile: The Complete Series (Boxed Set)
The Maltese Falcon
The Mary Tyler Moore Show: Season 7
Medium: Seasons 1-6 (Set)
Medium: The Sixth Season
Monk: The Complete Series (Limited Edition)
NHL: 2010 Stanley Cup Champions Chicago Blackhawks
A Nightmare on Elm Street
The Oxford Murders
Peanuts: Charlie Brown's Christmas Tales
Pearl Jam: Under Review
The Pink Panther 2 (Includes DVD)
SG-U Stargate Universe: The Complete 1st Season
Space Chimps 2: Zartog Strikes Back
Splice
Tomboys
Troll 2 (20th Anniversary Edition)
The Year Without a Santa Claus