TiVoPlex
TiVoPlex for Tuesday February 1 through Monday February 7 2011
By John Seal
January 31, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Tuesday 2/1/11
3:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Eskimo (1933 USA): It’s February—as I’ve written in the past, the worst month of the year TiVoPlex wise (though December runs it a close second). Why is it so bad? Because TCM dedicates 31 days to Oscar winners and nominees, which means the Best Channel in the World airs a lot of films we’re already pretty familiar with. However, they still dredge up some of the more obscure films and performances that have caught the Academy’s eye over the years, so the month is not a total loss. And if this is the price we have to pay—one month of comparatively dull programming for eleven months of great stuff—so be it! As for Eskimo, it’s a docu-drama about Inuit life in the Great White North. Framed as a year in the life of an Eskimo couple - portrayed effectively by Alaska native Mala (AKA Ray Wise) and Hawaiian enchantress Lotus Long (Think Fast, Mr. Moto) - the film takes us from summer to winter and back again, but there the similarities to the films of Ki-duk Kim end. Detailing the hardships of a hunter/gatherer society in one of the world's harshest and remotest regions, this pre-Code film is also surprisingly unflinching in its appraisal of the white man's intrusive and poor behavior, depicting Europeans as inebriated orgiasts with a penchant for rape, until, of course, the steadfast and true lads of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police show up to put things right. Stunningly shot by (amongst others) Clyde De Vinna, Eskimo can't quite match the magnificence of the anthro-documentaries of Cooper and Schoedsack, but did take home the very first Academy Award for Best Editing.
8:30 AM Showtime Extreme
Project: Human Weapon (2000 USA): And then there’s Project: Human Weapon. No, Toto, we’re not on TCM anymore. I actually haven’t seen the film, but couldn’t resist that title. Apparently it was shot in Bulgaria, stars Judge Reinhold and a bunch of Eastern Europeans, and has something to do with mind control, which is probably a good idea as the special effects budget was undoubtedly pretty low.
2:20 PM Starz
An Education (2009 GB): Carey Mulligan’s role as the ‘new Audrey Hepburn’ began, for all intents and purposes, with this award-winning drama from Danish director Lone Scherfig. The pixie-ish one stars as Jenny, an early ‘60s English teenager who falls in love with older (if not necessarily wiser) David (Peter Sarsgaard). Their relationship eventually comes to a crossroads, and Jenny must choose between Oxford and her imperfect paramour. An Education isn’t my regular cup of tea, but Nick Hornby’s screenplay is suitably wry and the supporting cast (Alfred Molina, Emma Thompson, Rosamund Pike, Olivia Williams, and Sally Hawkins) solid. Also airs at 5:20 PM.
11:45 PM Turner Classic Movies
Last Summer (1969 USA): “Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you gave it away...”—what’s that? This isn’t a marathon airing of Wham!’s maudlin holiday classic? It’s actually a Frank Perry character study about three young people (Richard ‘Johnboy Walton’ Thomas, Barbara Hershey, and Bruce Davison) in search of themselves? Oh, I forgot...it’s 31 Days of Oscar, and Last Summer co-star Catherine Burns earned a Best Supporting Actress nom for her role as the threesome’s chum. I don’t think Last Christmas earned so much as a thumbs-up at the VMAs. Fun fact: Pa Walton himself, Ralph Waite, plays the father of Richard Thomas’ character, Peter. Spooky.
Wednesday 2/2/11
11:30 AM Sundance
How to Be (2008 GB): Here’s some more coming of age anxiety, this time in a 21st century stylee. Aptly-named artist Art (brooding vampire Robert Pattinson) is going through a personal crisis, which he decides can only be resolved by having a personal coach. Enter Canadian elder Doc Ellington (Powell Jones, in his first and last big screen role—the poor chap died before the film opened), author of self-help bible ‘It’s Not Your Fault’ and a man quite willing to pay house calls. Gentle whimsy and navel-gazing ensue. Also airs at 2:35 PM.
8:00 PM HBO Signature
GasLand (2010 USA): This excellent HBO original documentary returns tonight and—happy coincidence!—is up for a Best Documentary Feature gong at this year’s Academy Awards. GasLand examines ‘hydraulic fracturing’ (also known as fracking), a method by which natural gas is removed from the ground across a wide swath of the Eastern Seaboard. Director Josh Fox, whose family was offered a deal for the gas beneath their property, decided to travel throughout the region to see what effect ‘fracking’ has had on other communities. Needless to say, it ain’t been good, unless you like to perform party tricks in your kitchen—some people can now set fire to their drinking water! Though I’m pulling for Exit Through the Gift Shop, without a Michael Moore entry there’s no clear documentary Oscar winner this year…so GasLand could surprise and sneak through to victory.
1:30 PM Turner Classic Movies
Lonelyhearts (1958 USA): A super cast makes this otherwise underwhelming drama worth a look. Montgomery Clift headlines as Adam White, a newly minted journo just getting his start in the big city newspaper industry. Hired at the Chronicle, Adam finds his talents diverted into writing the paper’s advice column—not exactly the assignment he had in mind after graduating from J-school. Dickensian-monikered editor Shrike (Robert Ryan) is a bully who abuses his employees as well as his dipsy wife (Myrna Loy), serial letter writer Fay Doyle (Academy Award-nominated Maureen Stapleton) intrudes into Adam’s personal life, and the strain of the job starts to tell on his relationship with gal pal Justy (Dolores Hart). Lonelyhearts is based on a Nathanael West novel, but not the one you’ve read!
Thursday 2/3/11
1:15 AM Turner Classic Movies
The Guardsman (1931 USA): Real life couple Alfred Lunt and Lynn Fontanne basically play themselves in this MGM comedy of errors. Alfred and Lynn are The Actor and The Actress, a couple whose marriage is fraying at the edges. The Actor suspects The Actress may be willing to succumb to the temptations of infidelity, so disguises himself as a dashing Russian officer to test her loyalty. Gentle humor ensues, much of it involving co-star Roland Young as family friend and theatre critic Bernhardt. The Guardsman is a typically static early talkie, but provides a rare opportunity to see the once renowned stage couple in action together. Ooh, that sounds a bit creepy.
3:15 PM Flix
Ernest Scared Stupid (1991 USA): Ah, Slinky Dog—how we missed you in Toy Story 3. I’m not sure I miss late Slinky portrayer Jim Varney’s other cinematic creation, Ernest, with quite as much fervor—but the character, who appeared in a series of eight comedies, was a likable goofball nonetheless. In this one, Ernest brings an evil troll to life on Halloween. This being Flix, we might even get Ernest Scared Stupid in its correct 1.85:1 aspect ratio! Wouldn’t that be a thrill?
Friday 2/4/11
4:30 AM Cinemax
Gattaca (1997 USA): Now here’s a film that genuinely needs to be seen in widescreen, but is airing in pan and scan this morning. It hasn’t aired on a premium channel in a while, though, so I’ll give Gattaca a brief shout-out anyway. Directed by New Zealander Andrew Niccol, it’s a bleak future classic starring Ethan Hawke as Vincent, an all-natural young man growing up in a world where in-vitro genetic modifications have become the norm. Born with numerous defects, including bad eyesight and a questionable ticker, Vincent can only get crummy janitorial jobs (one of his working-class colleagues is played by Ernest Borgnine). In order to get ahead, he makes a sample-swapping deal with now paralyzed test-tube baby Jerome (Jude Law)—but things can get messy when you start messing with Mother Nature, and his plan begins to unravel. Grumpy old man and iconoclast-in-chief Gore Vidal co-stars as the scientist who suspects all is not right with someone’s DNA. Also airs at 7:30 AM.
9:00 AM Fox Movie Channel
The Girl in the Red Velvet Swing (1955 USA): The story behind this film is probably more interesting than the film itself, which, though it’s a perennial Fox Movie Channel fixture, I’ve never seen. I recently read Kevin Brownlow’s magisterial tome Behind the Mask of Innocence, however, and in it the author describes the notorious early 20th century murder case which inspired the film. In 1901, a stunningly beautiful (don’t believe me? Google her) Gibson Girl named Evelyn Nesbit became enamored of Stanford White, a rich architect who was also thirty years her senior. White wooed the teenager in his swanky apartment, a Manhattan loft accoutred with a swing upon which the object of his lust was invited to dandle. (Naked, of course.)
White ravaged the girl, who then left him in favor of a sadistic cocaine-addicted millionaire named Harry Kendall Thaw, whom she foolishly wed. The jealous Thaw murdered White and later divorced Nesbit, who, now penniless, began a career in vaudeville and movies, became addicted to morphine, wrote her biography, and served as technical adviser for this film. Deep breath! Now, I think we call all agree that the general outline of this story holds great cinematic possibilities. But in 1955?!? What was Fox thinking? Not having seen The Girl in the Red Velvet Swing, I can only imagine how screenwriters Charles Brackett and Walter Reisch dealt with the sordid details of Nesbit’s life. Methinks someone should pitch a remake to...hmm, I think Darren Aranofsky would be the right guy to reboot The Girl in the Red Velvet Swing. In the meantime, I’m finally going to give this one a look.
9:30 AM Showtime 2
Hot Resort (1985 USA): I thought I would have something funny to say about this terrible sex comedy. Now that it’s time to actually write about Hot Resort, I realize I don’t. Unless ‘despite the presence of Frank Gorshin, this is a really terrible sex comedy’ could be considered hilarious.
5:00 PM Flix
The Woodsman (2004 USA): Kevin Bacon essays the difficult role of a pedophile in this intelligent feature about a man struggling to control his compulsions and live some semblance of a normal life. Released from prison after serving a twelve-year stretch, Walter finds himself inadvertently housed across the street from an elementary school, hounded by an unsympathetic parole officer (Mos Def), and employed at a lumberyard where some of the staff take an instant disliking to him. When Walter becomes involved with one of his co-workers (Kyra Sedgwick), he finds himself at a crossroads, and decides he must be brutally honest with her about his sexual history. The first feature-length film from NYU grad Nicole Kassell, The Woodsman is a powerful and thoughtful look at what is still largely an unmentionable transgression, and unless you simply can't deal with the subject matter, is strongly recommended. It’s airing on Flix in widescreen.
Saturday 2/5/11
10:30 PM Turner Classic Movies
Ali (2001 USA): I’m not much of a Will Smith fan, but I will grudgingly admit he is not entirely terrible in this film. I’m not sure his performance deserved the Best Actor Oscar in 2002...but leaving that aside, Smith does a creditable job of channeling the spirit of the irrepressible Muhammad Ali, not to mention all that floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee.
Sunday 2/6/11
1:30 AM More Max
Whirlpool (1949 USA): This film didn’t earn any attention at Oscar time, so instead of airing in its natural habitat (TCM) here it is on More Max. Directed by a still at the top of his game Otto Preminger, the film stars Gene Tierney, Richard Conte, and Jose Ferrer in a story about kleptomania, the power of suggestion, and the terrible things that can happen when a hypnotist goes bad.
Monday 2/7/11
1:50 AM Starz in Black
Undercover Brother (2001 USA): It’s since been outdone by the superior Black Dynamite, but this comedic tribute to the black action genre has its moments, and also makes its widescreen television debut this morning. Eddie Jackson stars as the titular super hero, a BROTHERHOOD operative trying to protect America’s first black presidential candidate (who else but Billy Dee Williams) from THE MAN. A black presidential candidate? Yeah, call me back when that happens, ho ho! Though a little too tame for its own good, Undercover Brother still has some laughs, and Griffin looks good in a ‘fro.
3:00 PM Fox Movie Channel
Bedazzled (1967 GB): The rare cult film that deserves its reputation, Bedazzled has, of course, since been re-imagined to ill effect by the insidious Hollywood money machine. Well, okay, perhaps the 2000 remake wasn't completely without merit, but compared to the original - a truly inspired and unique piece of work - it was a load of old codswallop, as my granddad used to say. At any rate, Fox is showing the REAL Bedazzled, wide-screen and complete with Peter Cook, Dudley Moore, Raquel Welch, the beautiful Eleanor Bron, and Dame Edna himself, Barry Humphries, this afternoon. This gold standard for Swingin' ‘60s comedies is a brilliantly-written Peter Cook paean to sin and temptation that features a wall-to-wall barrage of quotable dialogue. In fact, I could reel off numerous chunks of the film right now, but I suppose that would be boring. Think I'll just pop out to the shops for a bottle of Fruney's Green Eyewash instead.