TiVoPlex
By John Seal
May 2, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Tuesday 5/3/11
12:30 AM Turner Classic Movies
Innocence (2000 AUS): TCM tips their hat to the wonders of Ebertfest this evening. For those unfamiliar with the concept, Ebertfest is exactly what it sounds like: a Chicago-area festival at which critic Roger Ebert screens a selection of films he considers underappreciated or overlooked. In other words, Ebertfest is very much like TiVoPlex! As for Innocence, it’s a tender tale of love postponed which Ebert described as “ the most passionate and tender love story in many years, so touching because it is not about a story, not about stars, not about a plot, not about sex, not about nudity, but about love itself. True, timeless, undefeated love…” I can’t say it any better than that, but will add that the film succeeds primarily because of the magnificent lead performances of veteran actors Julia Blake and Charles "Bud" Tingwell.
10:15 AM More Max
The Kids Are All Right (2010 USA): This film puzzled me from the get-go. Why would The Who remake their classic 1980 rockumentary? Why would they change the word "Alright" to "All Right" in the title? And why would they replace John Entwistle and Keith Moon with Julianne Moore and Annette Bening? That’s a serious downgrade in the rhythm department, not to mention the driving-a-Rolls-Royce-into-a-swimming-pool department. About half way through Lisa Cholodenko’s film — making its small screen debut this morning — I realized The Kids Are All Right was actually about artificial insemination and not Armenia, City in the Sky. Nominated for four Academy Awards — including one for Bening’s performance — The Kids Are All Right doesn’t exactly rock, but is a pretty decent film nonetheless.
4:55 PM Sundance
Ghost (1990 USA): This isn’t the sort of film you expect to pop up either on Sundance or in the TiVoPlex, but here’s a dirty little secret...I actually kinda, sorta like Ghost. Oh, I know...it gets rightly ridiculed for that stupid scene where Demi Moore molds the clay pot whilst The Righteous Brothers croon Ebb Tide...but overall, Ghost is a very successful piece of Hollywood hokum. And be honest...can you resist a film in which Vincent Schiavelli plays a spook haunting the New York City subways? Of course not.
Wednesday 5/4/11
2:10 AM HBO
Critters 3 (1992 USA): 17-year-old Leonardo DiCaprio made his film debut in this dreadful sequel to the not much better Critters and Critters 2 — films which were themselves inferior knockoffs of E.T. and Ghoulies (and Ghoulies wasn’t such great shakes to begin with). The fresh-faced DiCaprio plays Josh, a floppy-haired skater dude whose middle-of-nowhere existence is enlivened by the presence of "Krites," bizarre and hairy little creatures that get up to all sorts of mischief. DiCaprio displays none of the acting skills he later developed, but that probably didn’t matter to the teenyboppers who ponied up for Critters 3 back in the day. If you were 15-years-old in 1992, you may get some nostalgic mileage from this film: all others can probably give it a miss. Also airs at 5:10 AM.
10:15 PM The Movie Channel
Fist of the North Star (1991 USA): Continuing today’s theme of "pretty bad sci-fi movies from the early ‘90s," here’s the bizarrely titled Fist of the North Star. Though there’s no Leo DiCaprio here to distract you from the film’s many inadequacies, the cast is interesting enough to warrant your giving it a look. Based on a Japanese manga, it stars Malcolm McDowell as Ryuken, the contemplative ally of mulleted martial arts expert Kenshiro (bland Gary Daniels) in his battles against an evil mastermind named Lord Shin (Costas Mandylor). Why the producers and writers didn’t simply change the characters’ names from Japanese to Anglo — or go whole hog and cast Asian actors in Asian roles — I cannot explain. The supporting cast includes Melvin Van Peebles, Clint Howard, Chris Penn, Tracey Walter, and Downtown Julie Brown — all playing characters with non-Asian names, including "Stalin." Go figure. Also airs 5/5 at 1:15 AM.
Thursday 5/5/11
3:00 AM Showtime 3
F for Fake (1973 FRA): A mischievous Orson Welles documentary produced for French television, F for Fake focuses on the wonderful world of art forgeries, with particular attention paid to the work of counterfeit painter Elmyr de Hory and his biographer buddy Clifford Irving (who himself penned a phony Howard Hughes autobio). Additionally, the film examines Welles’ own career, which began with one of the greatest fake-outs of all time — a Martian invasion of New Jersey — and the great man even pulls off some sleight of hand on camera. F for Fake’s conclusion? Don’t always believe your eyes. This cheeky, amusing, and thought-provoking film also includes appearances by several "special participants," including Joseph Cotten, Peter Bogdanovich, and Paul Stewart. Don’t worry, Orson doesn’t saw them in half or anything.
6:00 AM Sundance
Scott Walker: 30 Century Man (2008 GB): For those still not in the know, Scott Walker was a huge pop star in Britain during the 1960s and ‘70s. Walker (born Scott Engel) was originally a member of Yank instrumental combo The Routers, but when their career flatlined he made common cause with two other Americans, John Maus and Gary Leeds, and relocated to Britain, where the trio recorded numerous hits as The Walker Brothers. When the group broke up (the first time) in 1967, Scott went off on a solo career highlighted by four classic LPs reflecting the influence of songwriter Jacques Brel. Though his career slowly went into decline after the early ‘70s, Brits still love Scott Walker, and this film does a marvelous job of summarizing his career and bringing viewers up to date on the man’s current activities, including his recent experimental recordings. There’s never been another singer quite like Walker, and 30 Century Man is a worthy tribute to his unique talents.
Friday 5/6/11
11:45 AM Turner Classic Movies
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (1921 USA): The film with which Rudolph Valentino made his commercial breakthrough, The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is not quite the silent classic you’d hope for but is still well worth a look. Rudy plays Julio Desnoyers, a French rake wed to the daughter of Argentinian cattle king Madariaga (Pomeroy Cannon). Madariaga favors Julio over second son-in-law Karl (Alan Hale) as heir to his fortune, but Julio would much rather tango than brand cattle, and things go deeply awry when he and Karl find themselves on opposite sides during World War I. Director Rex Ingram handles the action scenes better than he does the dramatic ones, but it’s easy to see why women swooned for Valentino: not only was he tall, dark, and handsome, he was a pretty good hoofer, too.
5:30 PM The Movie Channel
Holy Rollers (2010 USA): In which Jesse Eisenberg gets in touch with his roots. Holy Rollers stars the baby-faced Eisenberg as Sam Gold, a Hasidic Jew whose trilby and side curls allow him to circumvent airport customs and develop a career as a drug mule ferrying Ecstasy tablets from Amsterdam to New York. Apparently based on a true story, it’s an engaging tale of a naïf in Babylon who decides Babylon has a bit more to offer him than Brooklyn. Also airs at 8:30 PM.
11:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Santa Claus (1959 MEX): This jaw-dropping, so bad it’s incredibly good Mexican children's movie showed up on TCM for the first time last December; understandably, viewers have demanded it make this encore appearance. A kiddie matinee staple of the '60s brought to American screens by legendary showman K. Gordon Murray, Santa Claus imagines the jolly fat man as some sort of Catholic saint engaged in battle with one of the devil’s minions, portrayed by a man in a red body-suit with horns. It’s hard to adequately describe this film, but let’s just say that if you like listening to children sing tunelessly — a lot — and think it’s perfectly normal to leave your six-year-old home alone whilst you go out for a night on the town, you’ll love it.
Saturday 5/7/11
7:20 AM Encore Mystery
The China Syndrome (1979 USA): Remember when this film was considered hysterical science fiction in some circles? After Fukushima Daichi, it suddenly starts to look like pretty level-headed stuff. Jack Lemmon stars as Jack Godell, a supervisor at a nuclear power plant somewhere in sunny Southern California. Jack’s a big proponent of nuclear energy, but when an earthquake hits, he becomes concerned that something deeply wrong is taking place deep within the bowels of his reactor. Sure enough, the water cooling the fuel rods has dropped to a dangerously low level, threatening to melt the floor of the storage facility and potentially set off a devastating explosion that could spread radioactive material across the Southland. Why don’t those tree-hugging hippies realize that could never happen? Meanwhile, two meddlesome TV reporters (Michael Douglas and Hanoi Jane Fonda) are trying to get the story out over the airwaves but find the authorities somewhat reluctant to let the truth be told. Again, this could never happen in real life. When watching The China Syndrome, repeat: it’s only a movie...it’s only a movie...it’s only a...oh, pardon me, my Geiger counter is beeping.
9:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Tarzan’s New York Adventure (1942 USA): Perhaps my favorite 1940s Tarzan film, Tarzan’s New York Adventure does exactly what the title suggests: provide an opportunity to relocate our monosyllabic hero from Darkest Africa to the Big, Bad Apple. After Boy (Johnny Sheffield) is kidnapped by wicked Buck Rand (the great Charles Bickford) and taken west to perform in a circus, Tarzan and Jane (Johnny Weissmuller and Maureen O’Sullivan) hop the next flight in hopes of rescuing him and returning to their idyllic jungle treehouse. Unsurprisingly, the Lord of the Apes gets into all sorts of hot water in Gotham, but with the assistance of some circus elephants a happy ending is assured. This was the last film in which O’Sullivan portrayed Jane, and with her departure the series would take a much more formulaic direction (and the budgets would drop, too).
3:15 PM HBO2
Ingelore (2009 USA): I haven’t seen this Holocaust documentary yet, but it sounds pretty interesting. The subject is Ingelore Herz Honigstein, a young, deaf Jewish girl who, after being raped by Nazi cadets, was by great good fortune allowed to escape to America. The film was produced and directed by Frank Stiefel, Ingelore’s son.
Sunday 5/8/11
11:30 PM Turner Classic Movies
Mother (1952 JAP): Mikio Naruse is one of the unheralded masters of Japanese cinema, but perhaps he’s in for a bit of a renaissance — in addition to this airing, his silent films have recently been exhumed on DVD by the excellent Eclipse imprint. Mother is the director’s tribute to the fortitude of the Japanese woman, as exemplified by Masako (Kinuyo Tanaka), a widow who runs a dry-cleaning business whilst caring for her sickly son (Akihiko Katayama), a troublesome teenage daughter (Kyoko Kagawa), and an overly attentive war veteran (Daisuke Kato). It’s not considered one of his best films, but I’ve only seen a couple of ‘em, and Mother seems pretty good to me. Or at least it did when I last saw it, which was probably 30 years ago...