Monday Morning Quarterback Part I
By BOP Staff
August 1, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Kim Hollis: The Smurfs continued their decades long feud with Gargamel this weekend and for some godforsaken reason, $35.6 million worth of North American consumers paid to watch. How in the blue smurf did this happen?
Bruce Hall: The most obvious explanation would be that everything I learned in Sunday School is a lie and there is no God. My second guess would be that there hasn't been a new release aimed squarely at the pre-teen set since Winnie the Pooh on July 15th, or if you're looking for something less esoteric, Paul Blart: Zookeper back on July 8th. Although The Smurfs is rated PG, it's one of just a handful of new releases I'd have been comfortable sharing with small children over the last month or so. But only if I didn't mind them growing up without a soul. And no, I would not take the average eight year old to Harry Potter. Disagree if you want, just use your own kids.
Edwin Davies: As much as we talk on here about how we'd love for Hollywood to make films for kids that were actually, you know, good, the sad fact is that Hollywood keep making films like The Smurfs because kids are not discerning consumers and love stupid talking creatures, and The Smurfs fills that particular gap in the market pretty much perfectly. The casting of Neil Patrick Harris and Hank Azaria might have been mitigating factors for parents who hoped that there was going to be something in it for them, but this result rests firmly on those tiny blue shoulders.
Brett Beach: When I first heard Smurfs and Neil Patrick Harris, I was very excited. Then I learned it would be a "they cross over into our world" type story and all my hopes were quickly dashed. I enjoyed the show in the '80s when I was between seven and 12, but I really didn't think that the Smurfs had had much of a presence in the last 15-20 years. I don't know where to place the success since the ads and trailers I saw in recent months didn't seem to have that "hook" that would make it a must see. I guess it should be chalked up to a "nothing else" for the target demographic currently playing kind of victory, though a high school Facebook friend took her three daughters - all teenagers - to see it, and had a blast. Home Alone 3 aside, it appears that Raja Gosnell helming a project means it should never be counted out (He did direct Never Been Kissed, I wanted to say that in his favor)
Matthew Huntley: I saw The Smurfs this afternoon (for free, mind you), and it is actually better than I expected it to be. I can see why Brett's friend's daughters had a blast, because, if nothing else, the movie is jolly, high-spirited and energetic. At the screening, kids were having the time of their lives, and one little kid even physically cheered when Gargamel got his comeuppance. It was a cute sight to see, and perhaps that made the whole experience more tolerable. As an adult, I can rightfully say the movie speaks to kids, without necessarily speaking down to them, and there's some witty, self-referential humor in it for grown-ups that I appreciated. Granted, I would not tell adults to see it without kids, but I would let my kids see it because I know they'd enjoy it and it's the kind of slapstick, family comedy I would have liked if I was, say, 10 or younger. Why shouldn't kids be able to enjoy this? It's harmless and we probably saw all material that was just as stupid when we were young.
As for its box-office receipts, I can't say I'm really surprised, especially given how other cartoon adaptations like Scooby-Doo and Alvin and the Chipmunks have performed. There was little reason to expect The Smurfs would do differently. With strong exit polls and little kids who will be asking their parents to see it again, this will probably go onto $125 million +. I guess we can never underestimate (or predict) what little kids will want to see.
Jim Van Nest: I have to echo what Matthew said. Was the film award worthy? Of course not. But it was fun and cute and (as a former child who used to watch the cartoon) everything you would want or expect from a Smurfs movie. The box office does surprise me a bit and has me wondering...could the crazy heat all over the place be a contributing factor? No one wants to do anything outside, so they're seeing more movies? *shrugs*
David Mumpower: Jim knows that most of here believe that weather is always overstated as a box office factor...but I am willing to allow for the possibility that sunstroke was impacting the decision making of movie goers this weekend. As Brett alludes, The Smurfs has that Enchanted element of animated characters visiting the real world, making the film a twisted hybrid of Enchanted and Alvin and the Chipmunks. Such an unholy creation shouldn't be, but I cannot say I am shocked by this absolutely wonderful box office result.
PS: Spoilers, Matthew! You've ruined the M. Night Shyamalan-esque twist at the end of the film! Actually, spoil me a bit more. Do any Smurfs die screaming? I might go see The Smurfs if that happens.
Hey, Fright Night is still on its way.
Kim Hollis: Do you believe this weekend unofficially signifies the end of 1980s nostalgia or do you believe the remarkably strong showing will enhance interest in other projects? If so, which ones do you think will get a longer look?
Bruce Hall: I don't think it will ever truly end. Other vestiges of my childhood primed for big screen rapine and plunder include, but are certainly not limited to the following: There's Alf, the loveable plush alien who makes wisecracks, eats cats and was funny for about ten minutes. There's Magnum P.I., which almost assuredly will happen. There's 21 Jumpstreet, which of course is already in production and of course stars Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill. I also started to cry a little as I typed that. There's The Last Starfighter. There's He-Man, which has already been done, but since when has that ever stopped anyone from doing it AGAIN? There's CHiPs - and before you correct me, it was on longer in the '80s than it was in the '70s. I keep hearing about a Spy Hunter movie. I just read something about a Space Invaders movie (if you think that wasn't popular in the '80s, you never went to an arcade), which I'm assuming that will star a shameless former A-Lister like Anthony Hopkins or Liam Neeson, one of those androgynous twits from Twilight and some up and coming tween actress with an improbable name like Portland Light-Spackle. The list goes on and on. You ask if this is the end? Sadly, Kim, I don't think we've even seen the beginning. Buckle up. It's gonna be a long ride.
Brett Beach: I second Bruce's comments. There can't ever be an end to the nostalgia of the '80s (or any time period really) as far as Hollywood is concerned, because it's better to spend big and win big with a "proven" idea, even if it seems to make no sense to turn "Brand X" into a film, than to spend a medium amount on an original or hard to sell concept and work overtime to fill the public in. Any video game, kids' book, TV show, pop song, existing movie, commercial jingle and/or industrial strength cleaning agent from the 1980s is up for grabs. Just grabbing at straws, I say why not QBert, GoBots, My Two Dads, and The Safety Dance? (I am kidding, but only a very little.)
Side note- Read David Sirota's brilliantly scathing book Back to Our Future: How the 1980s Explain the World We Live In Now which is like Chuck Klosterman, only politically charged and frequently scorching. His chapter on Red Dawn (will we ever see this from MGM?) alone makes the book
Matthew Huntley: Definitely enhance, but if future projects can be done well, I say the studios should go for it. The only problem is, we've yet to see any that have really been done all that well. Can anyone name one? Here's a few more '80s shows I could see Hollywood buy and adapting into a feature (by the way, I'm still laughing over Brett's "industrial strength cleaning agent" comment): Airwolf, Riptide, Whiz Kids, Hard Time on Planet Earth and Wizards and Warriors. God save us all.
Jim Van Nest: I think the time has come. Special effects and movie technology are finally ready. M. Night Shyamalan has nothing else going on. Ladies and gentlemen and children of all ages...are you ready for: Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels?!?!?!?!
David Mumpower: Out of the titles listed thus far, He-Man is definitely the project foremost in my mind as Friday's box office numbers started rolling in. That's the animated project with the greatest name recognition saturation with consumers. A lot of people have a soft place in their hearts for Dungeons & Dragons, which is rather indefensible in hindsight, but those movies already technically exist. There would be rights acquisitions required to get it off the ground, even if it seemed likely to be a hit, a point I doubt.
The Dallas movie is off now that TNT has done something I've been literally waiting for a decade for someone to do. They're just going to pick up 20 years down the line with some of the old regulars like Larry Hagman and Patrick Duffy. That's a premise that works brilliantly for television, but would only succeed in a Star Trek (or Firefly?) scenario for features.
The one title that has not been mentioned that I think merits consideration is Remington Steele; the debonair thief premise consistently sells and Pierce Brosnan's presence would add some gravitas to a reboot if they could get him signed on. Similarly, Scarecrow and Mrs. King, knockoff of Remington Steele, is a money premise that would play just as well in the 2010s as it did in the 1980s. And of course there are the iconic programs from the era: Moonlighting and Cheers. I'm not sure how well Cheers would work as a movie (and I have intentionally excluded The Cosby Show due to the advanced age of the man himself), but Moonlighting is now and always will be a killer concept. Creator Glenn Gordon Caron isn't even 60 yet, so he's certainly not too old and with Medium off the air, I think he could be wooed. That may be a pipe dream, but that's the one update for which I will only maintain hope.