TiVoPlex
TiVoPlex for December 20 2011 through December 26 2011
By John Seal
December 19, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Tuesday 12/20/11
6:45 AM Showtime Extreme
Blind Terror (2001 CAN): It was made for television! It was shot in Canada! And the biggest name in the cast is Nastassja Kinski! And yet, here is Blind Terror leading off this week’s TiVoPlex. What’s up with that, Mr. Seal? Well, two things: 1)it’s Christmas week (traditionally one of the worst weeks of the year for movie mad boob tube addicts) and beggars can’t be choosers, and 2) it’s actually not that bad. Nasty, as easy on the eyes as ever, is cast here as Susan, a newlywed who’s receiving threatening phone calls from a woman claiming to be husband Kevin’s (Stewart Bick) former paramour. Who’s making the calls, and why? That, of course, is the mystery at the heart of the film, and Susan hires private dick Martin Howell (Gordon Pinsent, particularly good) to get to the bottom of things. Though clearly displaying evidence of its small screen origins, Blind Terror is thoroughly enjoyable and even has a reasonably surprising surprise ending.
Wednesday 12/21/11
1:00 AM Sundance
What Alice Found (2003 USA): Seems like I toot the horn for this one about once a year, but until you’ve all seen it, my job here won’t be done! Another dark indie drama for those who can’t get enough ennui in their lives, What Alice Found features Emily Grace as the titular fresh-faced sweet young thing whose Florida road trip diverts her to the rocky side road of truck-stop prostitution. Shot on a shoestring (as well as on digital video), the film features a remarkable performance from Judith Ivey as a Good Samaritan who moonlights as Alice’s pimp. Co-starring Dogville’s Bill Raymond, What Alice Found will make you think twice about getting roadside help from kindly strangers. Now check it on so I can stop pimping it!
4:15 AM The Movie Channel
Elvis Meets Nixon (1997 USA): A holy grail of sorts for psychotronic movie mavens (who have long had to pay top dollar for this title on Ebay), Elvis Meets Nixon is a comedy that recreates that magic moment when a bored but opportunistic Tricky Dicky gifted the King with his very own DEA badge during a White House photo op. Elvis is portrayed by Rick Peters, who does a decent job but can't quite match previous silver screen Elvii such as Kurt Russell or Bruce Campbell, whilst Nixon is played by Bob Gunton (‘24'), whose five o'clock shadow is more convincing than either Anthony Hopkins or Dan Hedaya. Produced by Showtime and directed by Allan Arkush (Rock ‘n' Roll High School), Elvis Meets Nixon is a wonderful little gem that belongs in the truth-is-stranger-than-fiction files. Look for Curtis "Booger" Armstrong in a supporting role as one of the Memphis Mafia. Also airs at 7:15 AM.
Thursday 12/22/11
Midnight Sundance
White Material (2009 FRA): Christopher Lambert in arthouse film shocker! It’s true - the lanky, lumpen action star took a break from Highlander sequels so he could appear in this Claire Denis-helmed drama about civil strife in darkest Africa. Lambert plays Andre Vial, owner of a coffee plantation threatened by civil war in an unidentified country. Andre, however, does little but cash the checks: the hard lifting is actually done by ex-wife Maria (Isabelle Huppert), who drives the company truck and hires its workers. As war clouds gather, it becomes increasingly difficult for Maria to keep the plantation operating - especially when a paramilitary named The Boxer (Isaach de Bankole) shows up and starts making trouble. Enigmatic in the extreme, White Material was a prize winner at this year’s National Society of Film Critics’ Awards. Rumors that White Material 2: The Quickening is already in production are, however, false. Also airs at 4:00 AM.
Friday 12/23/11
2:45 AM HBO Signature
The Good Herbs (2010 MEX): Herb Jeffries? Definitely a good one. Herbert Ross? A decent director. Herbie the Love Bug? The less said the better. As for these good Herbs, they’re of the "how does your garden grow" variety - and their ability (or otherwise) to heal or halt the onward march of Alzheimer’s Disease. This Mexican drama is distinctly of the hippy-dippy variety, but there’s no denying that it’s a powerful and moving experience, especially if you’ve watched a loved one suffer through the slow motion horrors of this debilitating condition.
6:00 AM Sundance
What Would Jesus Buy? (2007 USA): Celebrity sighting! The Reverend Billy was at Occupy Oakland on December 12th, the day of the second Port shutdown. The man can preach, looks good in a white suit, and has an important message, too, much of which is conveyed in this still timely documentary. If you're not familiar with Reverend Billy, he's actually Bill Talen, an Andy Kaufman-esque performance artist who has assumed the persona of a Hellfire and brimstone preacher testifying about the evils of consumerism. If you've ever wanted to see someone exorcise the demons from Wal-Mart, this is your film. Also airs at 10:25 AM and 3:15 PM.
11:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
You Better Watch Out (1980 USA): Ready for some ho, ho, ho, horror? Written and directed by the mysterious Lewis Jackson (who has precious little else on his resume), You Better Watch Out stars Tony-nominated (really!) Brandon Maggart (father of Fiona Apple - really!) as Harry Stadling, a middle-aged sad sack whose big goal in life is to play Santa Claus. New York toy company employee Harry has about as much in common with Old Saint Nick as Ebenezer Scrooge, but when he dons the red suit one fateful Yuletide season he takes the job description a bit too seriously - especially the bit about who’s been naughty and who’s been nice. Let’s just say he begins delivering more than lumps of coal to the bad boys and girls! Maggart really sinks his teeth into his role, and though You Better Watch Out could probably be considered high camp (it’s a John Waters favorite, after all), you wouldn’t know it from the all-out effort he puts into it. Also known as Christmas Evil, this unforgettable cult classic makes its widescreen television debut this evening.
11:40 PM The Movie Channel
The Advocate (1993 GB-FRA): Colin Firth stars in this most unusual drama about animals on trial in 15th century France. Firth plays Richard Courtois, a Parisian lawyer who finds himself hired to act as counsel for a pig accused of murder. Did the pig do it? Courtois emphatically states not, but superstition, a grumpy magistrate (Michael Gough), and general anti-Gypsy feelings (the pig is the property of a local Gypsy woman) suggest otherwise. An excellent supporting cast, including Nicol Williamson, Donald Pleasance, and Ian Holm render The Advocate one of the week’s top picks - and believe it or not, there really were animal trials during the Middle Ages. No justice, no bleats! Also airs at 2:40 AM.
Saturday 12/24/11
12:45 AM Turner Classic Movies
New Year’s Evil (1980 USA): The bloody holiday season continues on TCM with this gruesome slasher flick about Diane (Roz Kelly), a disc jockey apprised of an unusual murder spree: a killer offing victims one-by-one as the New Year is rung in across each of America’s time zones. Even worse, Diane discovers she’s his intended final (west coast) victim. Will she keep working on her TV special and keep calculating votes for New Wave Song of the Year - or will she take a break to try and, y’know, save her life and stuff? It’s not very good (and nowhere near as much fun as You Better Watch Out), but New Year’s Evil also makes its letterboxed television debut tonight.
Sunday 12/25/11
2:45 PM Encore Family
The Bellboy (1961 USA): Oy, I’m recommending a Jerry Lewis movie. It must be a bad week. This time the gurning goofball plays a mute bellboy at a fancy Miami hotel, where one of the guests is...Jerry Lewis, also playing himself. Confusion and mildly amusing comedy antics ensue. This one’s strictly for Jerry’s kids. I know you’re out there.
Monday 12/26/11
11:15 AM Turner Classic Movies
The Thief of Bagdad (1940 GB): The Thief of Bagdad is an Arabian Nights fantasy writ large and in Technicolor. Co-directed by Ludwig Berger, Michael Powell, and Tim Whelan, it was produced by London Films, the company founded by Alexander and Zoltan Korda after they emigrated from Hungary to Britain in the early 1930s.
Work on the film began in London in 1939, but the challenges of wartime compelled the Kordas to relocate production to Hollywood. The Thief of Bagdad debuted in British cinemas on December 19, 1940, and must have been a most welcome distraction indeed. (If distraction could be found at all: opening night coincided with a massive air raid on London, during which the Luftwaffe plastered the city with tens of thousands of incendiary bombs.)
The film stars Sabu - an Indian teenager discovered by Korda when he was shooting Elephant Boy in Mysore in 1937 - as Abu, a cheeky street urchin who will steal anything that isn’t nailed down. Jailed for theft, Abu finds himself in the same dungeon as a blind beggar named Ahmad (John Justin). Ahmad is the rightful king of Bagdad, but has been usurped by wicked vizier Jaffar (frequent movie bad guy Conrad Veidt, perhaps best remembered today as Major Strasser in Michael Curtiz’s Casablanca.)
Their prison sojourn is brief, however, as the resourceful Abu has stolen the jailer’s key. The new friends flee south to Basra, where Ahmad is promptly smitten with the beautiful daughter (June Duprez, in a role originally imagined for Vivien Leigh) of a child-like Sultan (Miles Malleson, who also wrote the film’s screenplay and would play similarly dotty characters throughout his long career) - but Jaffar has his eye on the princess as well, and will go to any lengths to win her hand. Abu and Ahmad, naturally, have other ideas.
The Thief of Bagdad is a perfectly cast and beautifully made adventure that transcends its somewhat predictable story. It’s also one of the great technical achievements of cinema. Lawrence Butler’s special effects - including a Kali-style six-armed statue, a flying horse, a giant spider, and a massive genie played with gusto by the great African-American actor Rex Ingram - earned an Academy Award, as did Georges Perinal’s cinematography and Vincent Korda’s art direction.
The film anticipated and surely influenced the extravagant fantasies that Charles Schneer and Ray Harryhausen would produce, such as The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad (1958) and Jason and the Argonauts (1963) - films which in turn would leave an indelible impression on youngsters like George Lucas and Steven Spielberg. For better or worse, The Thief of Bagdad is the great-granddaddy of the summer special effects blockbuster - but try not to hold that against it.