TiVoPlex
TiVoPlex
By John Seal
May 28, 2012
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Tuesday 5/29/12
5:25 AM Showtime 2
The Long Ride (1984 USA-HUN): It’s not often I get to write about US-Hungarian co-productions, especially ones produced prior to the fall of the Berlin Wall. In fact, I’d hazard a guess that 1984’s The Long Ride might be unique in this respect! Directed by Pal Gabor, it’s headlined by American actor John Savage as Brady, a USAF flier shot down over Hungary during World War II and hidden from the Germans by local farmers. Determined to escape to neutral territory, Brady acquires a horse and a young guide (fellow Yank Kelly Reno) to help him reach the border - but will they get there before Nazi patrols track them down? A decent enough action pic, The Long Ride oddly neglects to mention Hungary’s status as an ally of the Third Reich, during which they participated in the invasion of the Soviet Union. Historical revisionism, anyone?
10:15 AM Turner Classic Movies
The Secret Bride (1934 USA): A great cast overcomes so-so material in this William Dieterle-helmed Warner Brothers drama. Babs Stanwyck stars as Ruth Vincent, daughter of the governor (Arthur Byron) and fiancee of up and coming District Attorney Bob Sheldon (Warren William). The two wed in secret, and then Bob’s assistant Dave (Douglas Dumbrille) drops a bombshell: it looks like Governor Vincent has been accepting bribes, and Bob will be prosecuting! Determined to protect her husband’s record of impartiality, Ruth decides to keep their marriage under wraps during his investigation, but soon learns the adage "easier said than done" has some truth to it. Co-starring Grant Mitchell and Glenda Farrell, The Secret Bride is patently absurd but hugely enjoyable.
10:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
The Decks Ran Red (1958 USA): This film doesn’t quite live up to its colorful title, but it’s still a satisfying enough maritime yarn. Directed by Andrew L. Stone - also responsible for The Last Voyage, another tale of trouble brewing on the oceans blue - The Decks Ran Red stars James Mason as Edwin Rumill, first officer on the luxury liner Mariposa. Pressed into commanding the troubled merchantman Berwind, Rumill finds himself in charge of a ship bedeviled by mutinous crewmen, and soon enough the decks, if not exactly awash in sanguinary gouts, are certainly filled with the rumbles and grumbles of not so jolly Jack Tars. Dorothy Dandridge is second-billed as the ship’s Maori cook, and the cast is rounded out by Broderick Crawford, Stuart Whitman, and Katharine Bard.
Wednesday 5/30/12
7:30 AM Encore Dramatic Stories
The Bedroom Window (1987 USA): Steve Guttenberg took a break from his Police Academy movies to star in this erotic thriller about a boring businessman who gets himself into hot water - though surprisingly, not with Shannon Tweed. Guttenberg is Terry Lambert, an empty suit currently and unwisely bedding Sylvia (Isabelle Huppert), the wife of Terry’s boss (Paul Shenar). When the cuckolding couple espy a sexual assault through a neighboring window, Sylvia refuses to get involved - but Terry can’t let victim Denise (Elizabeth McGovern) suffer in silence, and he goes to the police. Alas, his tale immediately pegs him as suspect number one, and without Sylvia’s alibi to back him up it looks like his goose will be well and truly cooked - unless, of course, he can track down the baddie himself. Written and directed by Curtis Hanson (L.A. Confidential, 8 Mile), The Bedroom Window is definitely a cut above the genre - despite the presence of the goofy Guttenberg in a serious role.
Thursday 5/31/12
1:05 AM Sundance
Until the Light Takes Us (2008 USA): This rockumentary examines Norwegian black metal, a doomy sub-genre of hard rock renowned for adherents who devote themselves to the worship of tremolo picking, misanthropy, and Satan, but in reality enjoy knitting, puppy dogs, long walks on the beach, and burning down churches. Or so they say. Made by two San Franciscans who moved to Norway with the express purpose of traveling into black metal's heart of darkness, Until the Light Takes Us is an eye-opening and ear-deafening experience which will appeal to pyromaniacs and arsonists alike.
6:00 AM Fox Movie Channel
Panic in Needle Park (1971 USA): My favorite junkie movie makes a widescreen appearance today thanks to the good folks at Fox. Filmed during the heart of a New York City winter, this is a bleak but never boring look at two dropouts (played by Al Pacino and Kitty Winn) with huge heroin monkeys on their respective backs. Sympathetically directed by Jerry Schatzberg, the two leads deliver outstanding performances and are ably supported by the likes of Alan Vint, Paul Sorvino, and Raul Julia. If you’re not too busy trying to score some China White in Alphabet City, you’ll want to make some time for Panic in Needle Park.
Friday 6/1/12
3:00 AM Fox Movie Channel
Word of Honor (1981 USA): Karl Malden - three years removed from his long-term stint on Streets of San Francisco - stars as a reporter determined to protect his sources at any cost in this solid made-for-TV movie. Karl is Mike McNeill, a journalist with a big scoop: bank president Roger Clements (Dan Crane) has been kidnapping and abusing young women. Mike shares his information with the cops, but refuses to reveal that his source is reluctant witness Beth (Alexa Kenin), a Clements victim now happily married and unwilling to testify against her tormentor. Complications ensue for Mike, who finds himself shunned both personally and professionally - and whose personal effects become of great interest to the police. Also on hand: Rue McLanahan, Ron Silver, and (making his first screen appearance) John Malkovich.
3:10 AM HBO Signature
A Tiro de Piedra (2010 MEX): In the mood for a little magical realism? Then check out A Tiro de Piedra (A Stone’s Throw Away), an engaging tale of a Mexican shepherd and the mystical quest he undertakes. Gabino Rodriguez (Sin Nombre, The Good Herbs) stars as Jacinto, a poor goat herder who finds a key one day and decides to find out where it belongs. Traveling thousands of miles across Mexico and the United States, Jacinto encounters trials and tribulations along the way but ultimately reaches his goal - only to find out it’s not quite as satisfying as he anticipated. A Tiro de Piedra has been unfavorably compared to Paolo Coelho’s novel The Alchemist, but as I haven’t read the book I’m in no position to comment.
9:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Claudelle Inglish (1961 USA): I’d never even heard of this Gordon Douglas-helmed drama before encountering it on tonight’s TCM schedule, but it certainly has a good enough cast to attract my attention. Based on an Erskine Caldwell novel, the film stars Diane McBain as the titular teenage daughter of a dirt poor sharecropper (Arthur Kennedy), Claude Akins as the plantation boss she seeks to seduce, and Chad Everett as a young buck. I’ve no idea if Claudelle Inglish is any good, but I’m picking up Baby Doll vibes, which surely can’t be a bad thing.
6:00 PM Showtime
Meek’s Cutoff (2010 USA): Fans of revisionist westerns will love Meek’s Cutoff. Fans of John Wayne and Gene Autry movies, on the other hand, would probably prefer to poke their eyes out with a flaming arrow than watch it. Regular readers know I’m no fan of the meat and potatoes western, so Meek’s Cutoff is definitely further up my alley than is, say, Sagebrush Troubadour or Cahill, U.S. Marshall. Directed by Kelly Reichardt, whose Wendy and Lucy I also greatly admire, the film stars Michelle Williams, Bruce Greenwood, Shirley Henderson and others as pioneers stranded in the Oregon high desert circa 1845. When "The Indian" (Rod Rondeaux) shows up, the group are uncertain whether or not to accept his help: will he assist them across the Oregon Trail to their new settlement, or will he simply scalp and rape the lot of them? Deliberately paced and relentlessly downbeat, this is a film for a quiet evening’s contemplation. In other words, don’t put on your cowboy hat and plastic sheriff’s badge for this one, pardner. Also airs at 9:00 PM and throughout the month.
Saturday 6/2/12
4:30 AM Turner Classic Movies
Catalina Caper (1967 USA): Chances are, if you’ve ever seen this dreadful film, you saw it on Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Now we get an opportunity to scope it out sans both commercial interruptions and silly robot commentary! Tommy Kirk, fresh off his twin triumphs in Mother Goose-A-Go-Go and It’s a Bikini World, stars as Don Pringle, a clean cut teen who stumbles across an art theft on Southern California’s Catalina Island. Also involved are Lyle "Carol Burnett Show" Waggoner and Little Richard, who gets to croon the decidedly out of character tune ‘Scuba Party’. Catalina Caper was shot by Ted Mikels (currently producing Corpse Grinders 3!) and directed by Lee Sholem, which pretty much tells you everything you need to know about this indie feature’s questionable qualities.
6:45 AM Fox Movie Channel
Making It (1971 USA): Hollywood eminence grise Peter Bart got his start with this comedy-drama about the sexual foibles of a young man in a hurry. Phil (Kristoffer Tabori) is a high school senior whose adolescent libido is taking him in all sorts of directions - including towards his P.E. teacher’s attractive wife (Marlyn Mason) and cute-as-a-button classmate Debbie (The Velvet Vampire’s Sherry Miles). Needless to say, all the canoodling gets him into deep waters - including an unwanted pregnancy that causes the film to shift abruptly and uneasily from goofy generation gap comedy to hyper-serious abortion drama. The shift is not well executed by Bart’s screenplay, but Making It’s interesting cast (including a very young Bob Balaban, John "Piglet" Fiedler, and not one but TWO Van Pattens) renders it classic TiVoPlex material.
9:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Dick Tracy (1937 USA): Chapters 6, 7, and 8 of Republic’s Dick Tracy serial air this morning. Can Dick negotiate his way through Dangerous Waters, and will brother truly be pitted against brother? Tune in to find out!
Sunday 6/3/12
10:00 AM Showtime Extreme
Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame (2010 HK-CHI): Directed by legendary HK filmmaker Tsui Hark, this engaging and impressively mounted period piece stars Andy Lau (Fulltime Killer, The Warriors) as the title character, a disgraced detective given a new professional lease on life by heir to the Chinese throne Wu (Carina Lau, no relation) when her accession is threatened by two cases of spontaneous combustion and a construction project gone horribly wrong. Set in 640 AD, Hark’s film is a throwback to the kitchen sink films of an earlier Hong Kong movie era, when fantasy and reality could be equal partners and mystery, comedy, and political sub-plots could blend together in one heady cinematic mix. Though a little too long (119 minutes), Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame still offers plenty of fun and lots of surprises.
11:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
A Man and a Woman (1966 FRA): BAH-DA-----da dadadadada, DA-DA-DA-daddadaddada, da-da-da-daddadaddada...come on, now, hum along! You’re all familiar with Francis Lai’s legendary theme "song" for A Man and a Woman, but how many of you have actually seen this Claude Lelouch joint? Anouk Aimee and Jean-Louis Trintignant star as Anne and Jean-Louis, a widow and widower who meet cute at their children's school and proceed to develop a special relationship. The film was a huge boxoffice success in France and abroad and went on to win two Academy Awards, but it also suffered criticism for its lightweight appraisal of the lives of two beautiful, well off people. True enough - but there’s something commendable about the film’s effortless simplicity and Aimee is awfully easy to look at, so I’ll give it a pass. It’s followed at 1:00 AM by The Appointment, a 1969 Sidney Lumet drama in which Omar Sharif plays an Italian lawyer who suspects his wife (Anouk Aimee) might be a top-of-the-line prostitute.
Monday 6/4/12
4:05 AM Showtime Extreme
Trollhunter (2010 NOR): Yes, this film could easily be considered the Norwegian Blair Witch Project, with its "this is all true" prologue and its reliance on shaky cam, but you know what? It’s a lot more satisfying because you actually get to see the monster/s. I know, it sounds crazy, but it works.