TiVoPlex
By John Seal
January 21, 2013
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Tuesday 1/22/13
1:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Some Kind of a Nut (1969 USA): Sometimes you feel like one, sometimes you don’t, but in general when you think of the word "nut" in the mental health sense you probably don’t conjure visions of Dick Van Dyke. Nonetheless, that’s what you get in this mildly amusing "hip" comedy directed by the decidedly unhip Garson Kanin. Van Dyke plays Fred Amidon, a Big Apple bank teller who grows a beard, causing widespread palpitations and pearl clutching in the executive wash room. Oh, he’s having an affair too...which makes no sense, as he’s married to a woman played by Angie Dickinson. Soon the men in white show up with a giant butterfly net. Okay, that’s a slight exaggeration, but the idea that a beard and an affair could qualify you for institutionalization is, I would suggest, a little far-fetched. Regardless, Dickinson and Rosemary Forsyth (playing the third corner of the triangle) are easy on the eyes, and there’s even a small role for the enchanting Zohra Lampert. This screening marks the film’s widescreen television debut.
6:45 AM Fox Movie Channel
Fathom (1967 GB): Raquel Welch in a bikini is pretty much all this film has to offer, which for many 1967 moviegoers was enough. Welch disrobes in the name of the Free World in this film, in which she portrays Fathom Harvill, a secret agent dispatched to the Mediterranean (fun! sun! bikinis!) to recover a lost atomic device. The complication: the device is in a building occupied by nefarious Red Chinese! Thankfully, the film doesn’t take itself much more seriously than the contemporaneous Matt Helm and Derek Flint series, and Welch seems to be having fun. Directed routinely by Leslie H. Martinson (who just celebrated his 98th birthday!), Fathom co-stars Anthony Franciosa and Clive Revill.
11:00 AM Cinemax
Back to the Future (1985 USA): Not much introduction necessary here, but I do enjoy it when premium channels air franchise features back to back to back (and in this case, Back), so we’ll give a brief mention to BTTF. Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Robert Zemeckis...you know the routine. Back to the Future is followed at 12:55 PM by Back to the Future Part II (1989) and at 2:45 PM by Back to the Future Part III (1990). No idea if these will be airing in their original aspect ratios, but it would be a nice bonus if they were.
11:15 PM Turner Classic Movies
Cairo (1963 USA): if you can get past the fact that Cairo is an unnecessary and vastly inferior remake of The Asphalt Jungle (1950), you’ll probably enjoy it. Directed by Wolf Rilla (Village of the Damned), the film stars an in-his-cups George Sanders as The Major, a mysterious fellow scheming to snatch the riches of King Tut’s tomb from a Nile-side museum. As in all caper flicks, the plan seems to go off without a hitch...until that fatal moment when an alarm is accidentally triggered. Whoops! Richard Johnson, Eric Pohlmann, John Meillon and Wolf’s father Walter co-star as The Major’s co-conspirators, whilst the balance of the cast consists entirely of unknown (at least to westerners) Egyptian actors. It’s not a great flick, but the decent cast, nice location photography, and all-around obscurity render Cairo irresistible TiVoPlex bait.
Thursday 1/24/13
12:30 AM Cinemax
Friday the 13th, Part 2 (1981 USA): This film aired on Sundance in November and was one of the first films they screened with the hated Top of the Hour Commercial Interruption - and to make matters worse, they screened it in pan and scan. Cinemax may also air Friday the 13th, Part 2 in pan and scan, but they damn well won’t taint it with a break. And don’t get me started on the little "bugs" Sundance crams into every corner of the TV screen. Yes, I’m still angry! Also airs at 3:30 AM.
3:20 PM Encore Action
Hellbound (1993 USA): “Hey, big brother Chuck! Wanna make a movie?”
“Little brother Aaron, nothing could bring greater repute to the Norris family name than a movie directed by you starring me. Let’s do it!”
“Great! You play a Chicago cop who gets sent to Israel to chase the evil spirit that murdered a rabbi!”
“Wow, that sounds great! While I’m there I think I’ll endorse Binyamin Netenyahu in the Israeli elections.”
“That election won’t take place for another 20 years, Chuck.”
“No problem, Aaron. I’ll just use this time machine that President Romney made especially for me!”
4:30 PM Showtime
Paul Williams Still Alive (2011 USA): Somehow, Paul Williams became a major celebrity during the 1970s. Previously a second-division songwriter whose dalliance with stardom seemed to begin and end with a forgotten '60s group known as The Holy Mackerel, the diminutive, mop-topped shrimp with the squeaky voice became a game and talk show regular thanks to appearances in Battle for the Planet of the Apes, Phantom of the Paradise, and other fine films. To be blunt, he was one of the unlikeliest of all stars, and his strange but true story is retold in this fascinating and utterly compelling documentary. Be warned, though - you’ll be humming Rainy Days and Mondays for weeks after watching it. Also airs at 7:30 PM.
Friday 1/25/13
11:30 PM Turner Classic Movies
The House of Seven Corpses (1973 USA): This isn’t a very good (or scary) horror flick, but it’s been unavailable on home video and unseen on the small screen since forever, so you’d better make time for it. John Ireland stars as Eric Hartman, a filmmaker shooting a movie on location in a house where seven murders were previously committed. An encounter with a copy of the Tibetan Book of the Dead makes matters worse, and soon the cast and crew – including Faith Domergue (in her final film role) and John Carradine (in his, um, 43rd to last) – are suffering the consequences. It’s good late night fun, and a happy trip down nostalgia lane for fans of ‘70s schlock.
Saturday 1/26/13
3:40 AM Encore Suspense
Saboteur (1942 USA): One of the best Alfred Hitchcock films many folks haven't seen, Saboteur stars Robert Cummings as an armaments worker falsely accused of setting fire to his aircraft factory on behalf of the Third Reich. The real villain, however, is shifty-eyed Norman Lloyd (our second 98-year-old of the week), who ends up wrestling Cummings atop the Statue of Liberty in one of Hitchcock's most impressive set pieces. Before Saboteur reaches its thrilling finale, the two protagonists engage in a cross-country cat-and-mouse chase that takes them from the remote California ranch of co-conspirator Otto Kruger to a well-heeled Manhattan soirée. Priscilla Lane is the attractive but rather dull love interest, and the film also features Ian Wolfe, Hans Conreid, and Milton Kibbee.
Sunday 1/27/13
7:00 AM Encore Suspense
House of Games (1987 USA): House of Games used to be a premium channel staple – in fact, it was one of the first films I ever wrote about in the TiVoPlex way back in 2002 – but it fell off the programming carousel a while ago. It makes its small screen return tonight, and remains one of David Mamet’s best films. A brilliant disquisition regarding illusion, both at the gambling table and away from it, House of Games headliners Joe Mantegna and Lindsay Crouse are both in top form as they try to pull the wool over each others eyes. It’s the cameo appearance by cardsharp Ricky Jay, however, that is the highlight of the film.
Monday 1/28/13
7:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Dance Hall (1929 USA): Okay, folks, get excited. Here’s a film with no reviews and no user rating on IMDb. That’s a sure sign it hasn’t previously aired on TCM and probably hasn’t been widely seen in a very long time - I certainly haven’t seen it. Other than it being a musical starring Olive Borden and Arthur Lake, I can’t tell you anything about Dance Hall, but it’s an absolute winner on rarity points alone.
10:30 PM Encore Family
Vanishing Wilderness (1973 USA): I’ve mentioned the phenomenon before, but the 1970s were knee-deep in big screen wildlife documentaries. Here’s one I can remember viewing at the local bijou, but I certainly don’t remember much about it other than the general concept (“look at nature’s rich tapestry, and marvel at its magnificence!”). If you enjoyed Wonder of It All (which screened recently on this channel and was also directed by Mr. Arthur R. Dubs), you should get similar mileage from Vanishing Wilderness.