The Amazing Race Recap
By Daron Aldridge
February 26, 2013
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Let’s settle in and get to the second leg of The Amazing Race 22:
We left the teams on a beach in Bora Bora and that is where we shall begin again. Jessica & John, our front runners with a pair of Express Passes burning a hole in their fanny packs, get to leave at 2:56 a.m. Their performance on the first leg solidified by belief that they could be Meghan & Cheyne 2.0, so here’s hoping they repeat that leg’s stellar showing.
With the first clue, they find out that they are staying in Bora Bora, so the airport won’t eliminate their lead, BUT the water taxi required for their destination will. It doesn’t leave until 7:30 a.m., so likely all the teams except for the time penalty teams will be clumped together.
John also reiterates that their first rule of the alliance was to not talk about it. He seems to be banking on someone discussing the alliance because then they are not bound by giving the Express Pass to Team Livestrong as agreed upon.
As the teams congregate while waiting, John spells it out for the father and son team that silence about the alliance is golden but Connor, understandably, just wants them to honor the agreement. I can see the reasoning for both sides but lean more toward Jessica & John because as he put it, “This is a race…not an honesty contest.” But he admits that he doesn’t want them to give up the power of people kissing up to them to get the Pass.
And kissing up the teams start to do, even the teams like Team Sock’er Moms Mona & Beth and Team Youtube Joey & Meghan, who proclaimed they weren’t going to do that.
While on the water, hockey brothers Anthony & Bates break down the teams who are missing and optimistically point out that they should be all right for a little while. Even though Team Slapshot probably has the ability to back up any arrogance, they seem very grounded and realistic to their approach to the race and the competition. The water taxis zip across the ocean to get the teams to their location, where they have to find a chapel and get a blessing (and their clue) from a priest.
As the teams run to the chapel, Wynona starts in with her pity party of being old and snaps at Chuck that she’s “sorry you have a sucky partner,” when she can’t run very fast. I have a sneaking suspicion that this is just glimpse at the ever-present trouble in mulleted-paradise.
David & Connor reach the priest first but placement is inconsequential since a) All the teams are only about five minutes apart; and b) The father/son duo fails to read the Detour clue instructing them to pick up their snorkeling/diving gear BEFORE heading down to the water taxi. Oopsie.
Let’s back up a second: The Detour is between Pick a Pearl and Take a Trunk. For both they have to go out half a mile from the shore to open water. For Pearl, they have to use snorkeling gear and retrieve oyster shells and then open them to find two red pearls. For Trunk, they have to suit up with diving gear, get a trunk full of picnic supplies and then set up an underwater “picnic”. Team after team is opting for Pearl with the exception of Mona & Beth, who question the difficulty of opening the oysters.
No more does Connor finish recapping the placement of teams as they head for the tasks and declaring that it feels good to be in first does he realize that the other teams have their gear but they do not. He then accurately describes their situation as “first to last in a matter of minutes.” Well, not really last since Caroline & Jen and Max & Katie are still MIA. So now they are heading back to the chapel.
Given the effectiveness of some teams, this setback will be costly for David & Connor. Team Youtube takes the wise approach of Joey diving in to retrieve the oysters and then Meghan opening them up on the boat. This is a smooth process that has them appearing to stay ahead of the others.
Over at Trunk, Mona & Beth summon their telepathic roller derby skills and are able to work just as well as Youtube at making progress on their task.
I spoke too soon about effectiveness of the other teams because our aquaphobic twins Jamil & Idries seem to be done before they start; at least Idries seems to be. After just getting in the water, he immediately asks if they should just take the penalty. Mind you it’s a SIX hour penalty for skipping a Detour. Jamil denies him that because he thinks they should at least attempt the task before just throwing their hands up. Idries is so eager to get out of the water that he doesn’t even suggest switching tasks, which would be the more logical option.
As they bicker and debate the penalty, Teams Youtube and Slapshot, as well as Jessica & John have all found their first pearl. A quick editorial note (which is silly to say, since about 78% of these recaps is editorial by nature): Idries is being ridiculous about the task. He won’t even allow Jamil to get in the water to try it because he thinks they are just wasting time that way. You know what else is wasting time, Idries? Taking a SIX HOUR penalty for no reason. They deserve to be eliminated if they proceed with this foolishness. They will be putting the “Dead” in the name I gave them…Team Dead Ringers. A word from our sponsors heightens the drama, so we have to wait to see what they decide.
After scanning through ads for a bunch of products I won’t be buying (sorry, Net 10, Ford and E-Trade), we are back to the Race. The cooler head of Jamil has won out and they are at least going to attempt the Detour. But David & Connor are still trying to get back to the tasks following their own detour at the Detour.
At the water taxi stand, Max & Katie and Caroline & Jen are now 11 minutes away from being able to leave. The delay of having to wait for 7:30 a.m. for the others means that their four hour penalty is really only 1.5 hours. Unless someone craps the bed on this Detour, it should still be between the two stragglers for last place.
For the first time this leg, we see Pam & Winnie (maybe they should be named Chameleons because they just seem to fade into the background) and they are struggling with the oysters because they are gathering too many at once, which makes it difficult to swim back to the boat.
David & Connor are looking to regain some momentum by finding their first pearl pretty quickly.
The domino effect of success on the Pearl task occurs with Team Youtube, Anthony & Bates and Jessica & John all with both pearls and heading to get their clue. Joey & Meghan get the clue first out of these three and are directed to jet skis. They have to use a map to locate a beach and their next clue. David & Connor have also finished the Detour and are heading to their clue.
With four teams all done, the ability or inability to operate a jet ski could be the deciding factor. Over at the other task, Team Sock’er Moms is finally done with Trunk and currently in sixth place going in to the jet ski portion of tonight’s competition. A caravan of watercrafts cut through the ocean to the next clue leaving behind the twins, Mr. & Mrs. Mullet and Pam & Winnie.
Cape Fear and Cowboy Royalty have finally received their first clue and are heading to the chapel. Both teams opt for Trunk and Katie suggests working together because she wants to know where they are the whole time. Her preoccupation with always having a team near them seems destined to blow up in their face at some point, because all it takes is them to be sticking with a team that can outrun them and then the newlyweds are gone. At this point in the Race, though, it’s probably not much of a risk. Surprisingly, Max gives credit to Caroline & Jen for having a competitive streak that will allow them to cut the newlyweds loose as easily as the couple is willing to cut the blondes loose. This is an unexpected moment of clarity that I didn’t expect from him.
Until these teams get to the Detour, the twins are now the only ones left in the water as Chuck & Wynona and Pam & Winnie are getting their next clue. Jamil admits that they wasted about 45 minutes debating whether to quit the Detour.
On the beach of Motu Tapu, the teams are faced with the Roadblock. Whoever opts for the task will have to climb on a pair of stilts and then use the stilts to kick a coconut 35 yeards across the beach. Then they get to head to the Pitstop on this island. If they fall off their stilts, the coconut can stay in its spot but they have to go back to the starting point.
So far, Joey, Jessica, Anthony and Connor are the ones up to the task. Viewing the task as basically sand hockey, Anthony quickly shows that he has a good grasp on the Roadblock. Connor is not far behind but the other two are struggling with balance and gravity a bit.
Beth of Team Sock’er Moms is up, as is Mr. Mullet Chuck. Bobbing in the water on their jet ski is Pam & Winnie. They didn’t have the advantage of following other teams, so one wrong turn easily becomes one gigantic wrong turn.
Cape Fear newlyweds and Caroline & Jen are beginning the Trunk task and we have no idea what the status of Team Dead Ringers is.
Slapshot and Livestrong finish neck and neck and are now on the island prowl for Phil. Jessica & John aren’t far behind. The footrace proves too much for David, who suspects that he ruptured his Achilles. That puts Anthony & Bates in first, David & Connor in second and Jessica & John in third. This injury puts David’s future on the Race in jeopardy because if it’s what he thinks, he will have to quit the Race.
Back in the water at the Detour, the twins are struggling so much that they have to have the rescuers intervene to help them tread water. This is quite foreboding for them.
On coconut beach, Joey tumbles again but Beth tries to employ the Anthony mentality and summon her roller derby balance to get through the task at hand. Mind over matter doesn’t quite work over gravity as she falls as well. Chuck and his perm cross the line next and they are off to see Phil but Joey musters the coordination to finish right after him. He and Meghan are sprinting now because they know they can outrun Wynona, which is what happens. Youtube is fourth and Mullets are fifth.
The twins have finally wised up to the option of switching to Trunk and they are heading there now but just behind Max & Katie and Caroline & Jen, who are now done with it and avoided elimination this leg. The only thing saving Jamil & Idries from elimination is how hopelessly lost Pam & Winnie are on their jet ski.
Beth finally kicks the coconut and Team Sock’er Moms are officially team number six.
Amazingly, Pam & Winnie have arrived at the Motu Tapu beach before the other three teams, thus sealing the fate of the Trunk-attempting twins. Pam chooses to use the stilts. Max and Caroline are the chosen ones for their teams.
Caroline breezes through the challenge and Cowboy Royalty is checked in at number seven. Max plows through his difficulties with the stilts to pass Pam and put them as number eight. There doesn’t seem to be any sense of urgency on the part of Pam, who is sitting down and complaining about a cut on her foot. It seems as though she forgot about the twins, who are now done with the Detour and heading their way.
Once she finally gets back up, she chips away at the length of the field and they are elated to be number nine. That puts Team Dead Ringers in last and the slo-mo, inspirational music editing of them on the last task can only mean one thing: They are eliminated. They have enough introspection to appreciate that they are showing their kids that they should never give up.
Down to nine teams, what does next week have in store? A diagnosis for David and a visit to Phil’s homeland of New Zealand. It should be a fun one…well, for everyone but David & Connor.
Have a good week.