The Amazing Race 22: Episode 8
The Amazing Race 22: Episode 8
By Daron Aldridge
April 15, 2013
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Trading in the sweltering desert of Botswana for the snowy peaks of Switzerland, only six teams are left in the hunt for the million dollars but really only one team has demonstrated any aptitude at Racing. Please step forward hockey brothers Bates & Anthony and receive your acknowledgment. And just to not confuse matters, all you other five teams should take about three giant steps backward. We don’t want your inadequacy rubbing off on Team Slapshot.
Since the flight prospects from Botswana to Zurich, Switzerland, are as rare as you would expect, all the teams are bunched on the same flight. I like how one of the ladies describes it as “back at square one.” Or as it should be more aptly named “the go-to move by producers to not let one team dominate and run roughshod over the others.”
Now that all the teams are clumped together, let’s see what the land of fine chocolate and cough drops has in store for them. First off, they have to find a “conductor” lady in the airport upon landing in Zurich to get their first clue, which instructs them to take a train to the town of Grindelwald and more specifically, the church in the town.
Without incident, all six teams get on the first train but the connection at the next station was too tight for Team YouTube and Sock ‘er Moms. They are both now left standing on the platform literally watching the other teams speed away. Ever the class act, Max salutes them with a couple of blurred-out middle fingers (of course, he did so in a cowardly way so they couldn't see them. I mean, if you're gonna be a douchebag, then BE a douchebag). This shows that there is still some of the anti-Jessica & John sentiment being directed at their former alliance.
Could it possibly be that so early into the leg, it's going to come down to one of these two being eliminated? Doubtful, because the producers wouldn’t make it that easy for the others and more importantly, the sky high probability of one of the other teams to screw up royally always looms.
Even though they are about an hour behind them, my first suspicion is accurate. The first teams arrive at the church to discover that their clue won’t be delivered until 8:45 the next morning. So ten minutes into this episode, we have traveled thousands of miles across two continents and ridden in a plane and trains; yet, nothing of consequence has happened. Basically, it’s all old news…the hockey brothers are still flirting with Caroline & Jennifer and Joey & Meghan and Mona & Beth are the outsiders. They could’ve started the episode at this point and no one would’ve cared.
The shepherd delivers the clue to the waiting teams and they are instructed to go the train station (the same one they arrived at yesterday, I assume, which seems silly to me). Take a train to Kleine and pick up a rescue dog at the Bellevue hotel. The teams sprint ever so gingerly across the snowy, icy streets of Grindelwald to the train. Once again, Wynona is the slowest one and this time her speed has set off her usually more patient husband Chuck. Maybe he's just mad because the cold weather is giving him a bad hair day. Nevermind, the dude sports a mullet, so everyday would be bad. For the viewer (i.e. me), the episode gets worse because the train doesn’t leave for 45 minutes and still all the teams are right together. This is getting kind of old and boring, if I do say so.
A commercial break later, Wynona explains that after 24 years together, Chuck should know that his acting that way isn’t “egging me on but pissing me off.” What a dumb Chuck.
On the opposite end of the pleasant spectrum, Mona & Beth are in awe of the Swiss mountains and don’t do the Colorado tourism board any favors by saying, “We’re from Colorado and we have mountains that are beautiful… but NOTHING like this.” It is nice to see people appreciate the setting and the opportunity they have to see parts of the world that we, the average viewer, will never see.
At the hotel, they select a St. Bernard to accompany them on the train to “Europe’s highest railway station” Jungfraujoch. Once there, they have to deliver their hound to a guide and then search for their next clue on The Sphinx. These dogs, for the most part, are the most cooperative animals on any Amazing Race task, with the exception of Caroline & Jennifer’s dog. They would probably still be hanging out at the station if Anthony hadn’t come out and basically picked the dog up and put her on board.
Now we are treated to a montage of loving interactions between the teams and their dogs, which allows the producers to highlight again the growing tension between Chuck & Wynona. Ms. Mullet points out that he is giving more attention to the dog than her. Of course, Chuck retorts, “Well, the dog can run faster.” All of these snide comments seem to be laying the groundwork for a Mullet-elimination this leg.
With no issue finding the person who is claiming their dog, or no issue finding the clue, we are nearly 20 minutes into the episode and STILL all six teams are clumped together because they haven’t actually performed a challenge yet. It may be too early but I am close to declaring this one of the most boring legs in the show’s history.
And with the opening of the Roadblock clue, the show just got exponentially more interesting. This Roadblock has one team member go out an observation spot on the face of the Eiger Mountain. They will then have to traverse a section of the edge to retrieve a gnome (for a company I won’t give free advertisement for) with the clue on the bottom. Even more interesting is that of all the tasks for Wynona to choose, she goes with this one because she’s only done three to Chuck’s five. This could be a fatal Race mistake. The lady is having a hard enough time walking in the high altitude and thin air. I can’t imagine that it will be easier when she is suspended off of a mountain.
Everyone’s back on the train and heading to the Eiger.
At the two spots on the observation windows, Katie and Bates are first in line with the others not-so-eagerly waiting their turn. Jennifer, in particular, makes the mistake of looking out the window and must just wait. The anticipation is killing her.
Despite an admitted apprehension of the height, Bates blazes through the task and secures his gnome. Once safely back inside the mountain, they read that they must take the train back to Grindelwald Grund, cross a bridge and find a guy auditioning for a Ricola commercial. Ok, that last part is just my interpretation. The guy is just playing the giant horn, exactly like the ones in a Ricola commercial.
The brothers are now at the train drop-off and waiting but expecting at least a few teams to catch up. Katie has finally retrieved her gnome and does something shocking – she recognizes the sheer fear in Wynona and offers words of encouragement. She doesn’t lie about it being scary but tells her that she can do it. This has to be welcomed by Wynona, who is understandably frustrated at Chuck’s comments and snarkiness this leg.
Without difficulty or incident, Beth finishes for the Sock’ er Moms and joins Cape Fear and Team Slapshot as they wait for the train. I will interpret the displeased look on all of the faces as, “This is ridiculous. Why are we even trying to bust our butts to finish quickly if we are constantly at the mercy of trains and planes?” I feel your pain, guys, and as a viewer, this type of structure to a leg is not very entertaining to watch.
Thankfully, only one more team shows up right before the train arrives, so there is at least some reward for these teams. And we get to get a real smile come across Katie’s face when they realize that Chuck & Wynona and Joey & Meghan were left behind at the Roadblock.
Oh yeah, speaking of Wynona, she’s stuck on the side of the mountain. Unfortunately for Team YouTube, they are stuck in line behind her. Ms. Mullet dangling (or close to it) off the side of the Eiger sounds like a good time for another commercial.
Wynona regains her composure and musters the strength to finish but that’s not enough for Chuck. Upon learning that the next train won’t be there for an hour, he quickly criticizes that she should’ve moved faster. Up until this leg, I have been in Chuck’s corner because Wynona has been not too motivated to race but the last couple legs she has improved and stepped up. Sadly, Chuck has also stepped up the complaints and hurled them nonstop this leg. Wynona just wants him to tell her “Good job.” So he replies, “Good job. I’m glad you made it…the kids need their mother.” WOW…he has turned heel with such ease, it makes you wonder how difficult it must’ve been for him to put on the nice guy front for so long.
Meghan is now starting the Roadblock for Team YouTube and they are oblivious to the fact that they will be cooling their heels at the train depot for nearly an hour with Mr. and Ms. Unhappily Ever After. Maybe Meghan should just “hang out” on the ledge for a little while to minimize exposure to the Mullets.
The first four teams are now at the challenge and it’s a Switchback, which is a revisited challenge from a previous season. The teams have to use a traditional sled to transport four 50-lb. cheese wheels down a snowy slope to a barn to get their clue. The slope is quite steep and has disaster written all over it, which may be good news for the two trailing teams awaiting their train.
Cape Fear made the unfortunate choice of footwear with no tread but luckily, they were ahead of Mona & Beth and Caroline & Jennifer. This just means that they get to slow everyone else down. Everyone, that is, except Bates & Anthony, who have already loaded up on their sleds and started their descent. As they explain, they didn’t even try to pull the cheese but rather let gravity and the cheese push them don’t the slope with them guiding it. The brothers once again prove that it’s not just the physical threat for them. They actually gave some thought to the tasks at hand.
The others follow Bates & Anthony’s example and let the cheese do all the work. The cheesemeister inspects and approves the brothers’ cheese. They now have their next clue in hand and are heading to the Pitstop at the Bodmi Snowboard and Ski School at the base of the Eiger.
The other three teams are neck-and-neck-and-neck coming down the slope, thanks to equal amounts of difficulty for them. Cheese is rolling and falling everywhere but Max & Katie and Mona & Beth get their clues next and pass YouTube and the Mullets as they arrive. The time gap of an hour between trains seems to have been easily eaten up by Katie’s trouble climbing the hill.
As the final two teams start their ascent at the Switchback, Bates & Anthony are checked in as team number one and receive a vacation to boot. Phil points out that they are making it look easy, but Bates is quick to correct him that it is not easy. That, my friends, is why I like them. They have every right to be arrogant on this Race but they choose not to.
Joey & Meghan are easily at the top first and working their way down before Wynona (with Chuck pushing her) have made it even 20 feet up the slope.
Back at Phil, our Sock ‘er Moms are checked in as team number two, as Wynona finally makes it to the top. As the Mullets start their downhill trek, Max & Katie are number three and Caroline & Jennifer are number four.
With Chuck & Wynona so far behind and it being that way since the Roadblock, I can’t help but fear we are staring at another non-elimination. Wynona has the not-so-brilliant idea to just roll the cheese down and not use the sled, which was specifically stated in the clue. The penalty that will usually accompany this mistake and the typical slo-mo camera shot of the error makes me fear non-elimination even more. Because if they were eliminated, why would it matter if they were given a penalty or not we they check in? It wouldn’t.
Joey & Meghan are searching for a taxi to take them to the Pitstop but seem to be just walking it. The Mullets have their final clue in hand and appear to have passed Team YouTube. Well, they would have if not for their corner-cutting on the Switchback. They are assigned a 30-minute penalty. So, it may be an elimination leg after all. Sorry I tried to predict your editing tells, Mr. and Ms. Amazing Race editors.
This is the only chance that Joey & Meghan have to course correct their taxi-hunting error.
They don’t exactly correct their taxi error because they end up walking or running all the way to the Pitstop. Meghan is physically exhausted but equally relieved to learn that they have escaped elimination because of Chuck & Wynona’s penalty. And with that the Alabamans are no more on the Amazing Race. They ended their time on the show in an ugly way with mean spiritedness coming from both sides this leg.
Until next time when the teams face a freefall-like task and some kind of freaky looking maze, have a good week.