A-List: Five Most Iconic Oscar Moments
By J. Don Birnam
October 2, 2014
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Are you excited? I am. For all the complaining that we all love to do about the Oscars, I return to my by-now known theme: they matter and affect the movies that get made. And, frankly, after three months of repetitive blockbuster sequels and remakes, who doesn’t welcome the respite that awards season fare provides? Most years the Oscars and the movies that get released in time for their and the critics’ attention give us hope that there are still powerful voices out there in cinema, voices worth listening to. Yes, the linchpin of post-war Americana is alive and well: all’s good at the movies, awards season reminds us.
So, steeped in optimism and looking forward to the next months (which will most assuredly not be the case in four and a half months), I couldn’t help look back to some of my favorite moments in Oscar history.
This immediately became a daunting task. Perhaps one of the many reasons the Oscars are so intriguing to statistics and history lovers like me is that their multidimensional presentation (kind of like baseball) lends itself to analysis and study, stats and numbers, around several of its moments. So I quickly realized that one could make dozens of A-List columns about the Oscars. Best Oscar dresses. Best red carpet moments. Best Oscar speeches. And, of course, one can make probably hundreds of lists attacking or praising the Academy’s choices in different ways. Worst snubs, Worst Best Picture winners, Best actors to never win an Oscar, etc.
So, for my first crossover column - i.e., A-List plus Oscars - I decided to go with a somewhat simple listing: Most Iconic Oscar Moments. This refers exclusively to the telecast of the Awards. It excludes, necessarily, analysis of the actual choices made by the voters, it does not include red carpet moments or fashion, and it also excludes - importantly, the content of speeches. On the other hand, I did include memorable moments by hosts and/or presenters. Although one could make lists of those as well, let’s be honest. Presenters and particularly hosts are routinely panned and have the unenviable job of transitioning the telecast (which started running in 1953) into what audiences are tuned in for - the next winners. Thus, making the list of “Best Oscar Host Moments” would probably force me to pare down from five to like, two, for the first time in my writing of the A-List column.
But importantly, “iconic” does not mean “good” or “bad,” brilliant or not. Indeed, as you will see from my list, some of these moments are far from good or worthy of repetition. They are brutal reminders that the Oscars are simply produced by human beings and that, like a movie, choices can sometimes be questionable and lead to cringe-worthy results.
One thing that becomes immediately apparent from the list is the lack of any iconic moments from the last 10 or so years. This is not surprising, as television has become particularly dull in the post-Janet Jackson boob-gate world. But the Oscars, always reliably stodgy, are perhaps the worst offenders, wanting to appeal to as broad an audience as possible while keeping it classy and inoffensive. It seems almost as if anyone who dares to veer off script does so under threat of banishment from the industry and few, indeed, have the temerity to do so today.
What ends up happening is that the only noteworthy moments in the modern telecast - I repeat, few and far between - are those truly unscripted ones such as Jennifer Lawrence’s spill as she walked up to the podium to collect her Best Actress statuette a couple of years ago. This moment is too recent to make it onto the list, but shows that the ability to just let people be is better than following a tight line - after all, people tune as much into these things to see their adored celebrities be real (lose, win, cry, and laugh in real terms), not to see them do what they see them do on script.
Other than Jennifer’s slip and fall, there are many other moments that deserve honorable mentions. Sacheen Littlefeathers’ rejection of Marlon Brando’s Best Actor award for The Godfather immediately comes to mind. I don’t mean the speech itself - that would be outside the parameters of today’s list - which was clearly scripted and rehearsed. But the sheer theatrics of sending an American Indian (one who later turned out to be an impostor actress posing as such, nonetheless) as a huge middle finger to the Academy (after graciously accepting the Best Actor Oscar for On the Waterfront, nonetheless) remains one of the most talked about moments in Oscar telecast history.
Alas, I do not include it here because the moment was such an attention grab by Brando as to be almost embarrassing to the beloved actor. When George C. Scott expected to win for Patton, he made a deadpan statement about the stupidity of the Academy Awards, and left it at that. Keep it simple. “A simple thank you would have sufficed.” (If you get that Oscar speech reference, I think you and I both need to get a life).
Or how could one ever forget the image of Jack Palance doing push-ups at the 1992 telecast (I’ll use the year of transmission, which is the year following the release date of movies each particular show honors) when he won Best Supporting Actor for City Slickers? Facing an impingement of his virility, Palance responded graciously and impressively, wowing the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion with the uneasy feat of pressing one’s bodyweight off the floor with one arm. A close sixth place, to be honest.
There are also several iconic moments coming from past Oscars hosts. Billy Crystal has at least two in my mind, as his appearance on screen as Hannibal Lecter in the 1992 telecast or on the Titanic in 1998 were some of the most naturally funny if obvious moments of the award. Alas, I had space for only one iconic host moment on the list, as you shall see.
And last but certainly not least, and missing the cut only because of its sheer recency and my inability to truly evaluate the import of the moment, is Ellen’s celebrity selfie at last year’s telecast. Crashing YouTube within minutes, spawning copycat selfies immediately, and becoming the most-talked about moment of last year’s show, this seemingly-improvised moment cemented Ellen’s place in Oscar lore and is likely to become an iconic moment with the passage of time. Let’s promise to revisit the list in short order.
For now, however, it is time to at long last move on to the top five. One final note: no, you will not find Roberto Benigni’s “walk across the chairs” moment here. That buffoonic display deserves no mention other than the previous sentence.
5. Woody Allen’s Surprise Appearance
As the nation reeled from the September 11, 2001 attacks, it took a while to be truly comfortable with laughing and having fun again. Awards shows, always banal, seemed particularly trivial in the aftermath of those tragedies. But when one of New York’s dearest decided to set aside his distaste for awards season and the Oscars and stun everyone by appearing almost disheveled (i.e. in true form) at the Academy Awards, to pay tribute to the city he so loves, it was an iconic and genuinely moving moment as any there have been in the history of the Oscars. Woody Allen, always controversial, set his own views and politics aside, as most did, to unite behind something more important than the Oscars themselves. What could be more iconic than that?
4. Whoopi Goldberg’s African Queen
I loved most of Billy Crystal’s moments (perhaps I’m alone in that) and really enjoyed Ellen’s first turn as host, particularly when she vacuumed from under celebrities and took pictures with Martin Scorsese and Clint Eastwood. But for whatever reason, Whoopi Goldberg’s entrance into the 1999 telecast sticks with me. Her face, smothered in white make-up, is deadpan but clearly concealing a smile. And, in a classic cross-reference moment she declares herself to be everyone’s “African Queen.” She then adds that some think of her as the Virgin Queen (an obvious and clever reference given that two movies that had connection to Queen Elizabeth were up for Best Picture that year). I think it was Whoopi’s most shining moment as host, and perhaps one of the most iconic moments by any host not named Bob Hope.
3. The Kiss
When Halle Barry’s lips gave way to the words “Adrien Brody” during the 2003 telecast, all of us were truly surprised. Perhaps one of the last true shockers in the last 10 or so years of Oscars (not counting close or toss-up races), Brody defeated favorites (but past winners) Jack Nicholson and Daniel Day-Lewis for his portrayal of the title character in the Holocaust movie The Pianist. Brody’s victory was part of a larger surge of support for the movie - resulting also in a surprise Best Director win for Roman Polanski over the director of the eventual Best Picture winner - that probably means that The Pianist was inches away from overtaking the prohibitive favorite, Chicago. So, already, Brody’s victory is noteworthy in its own right for being an all-out, true shocker.
But what happened next is what landed this moment on this list. Brody, in genuine disbelief, approached the stage. He climbed it, and then, as if on the same drugs that had propelled Jack Palance into a new youthful existence, grabbed Halle Barry, bent her over, and French-kissed her on the lips. Yup, in front of a billion people or so (and his Oscar was in hand, behind her). Halle’s horrified face is as part of the iconic nature of this moment as Brody’s act itself, but whatever you may think of this bizarre invasion of her privacy, this moment is surely etched in the annals of Oscar history as iconic - and the jury is still out on whether it was a good or bad moment. It probably always will be.
2. The Rob Lowe/Snow White Debacle
There is no doubt, however, that the Rob Lowe/Snow White number is one of the most infamous in the telecast history of the little golden man. What exactly the producers were thinking is unclear. What is clear is that the woman who had the unfortunate “luck” to land the role of Snow White at the Oscars (a seeming dream job) was so distraught by the disdain with which this number was received that she essentially quit the business entirely.
I assume that I do not need to describe this moment, but just in case, in brief: the producers of the 1989 telecast decided it would be a good idea to mount a pastiche of song and dance featuring Rob Lowe and a dancing Snow White. The last featured the two singing a reworked version of Proud Mary, with stodgy references to the film industry. Neither musicals nor Snow White nor Disney had anything to do with the movies that were up that year. Nor, as far as I can tell, was it any significant anniversary of that movie.
All that one is left to assume is that the people behind this mock-worthy number used the same drugs that Palance and Brody did, but then had a bad trip when they mixed them with something else. Or something. The dancing was bad, the lyrics were bad, and the outsized costumes and props were bad. This is perhaps the lowest point in modern Oscar telecast history.
1. The Streaker
“The only laugh that man will ever get in life is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings,” was co-host David Niven’s brilliant reaction to a naked stranger running across the stage during the 1974 telecast. This moment is iconic for at least five reasons.
The first is obvious: someone streaked the Academy Awards. Not some boring Mets/Phillies game. The Oscars. Again: One billion people. And it happened moments before Elizabeth Taylor was set to take the stage to announce that The Sting had won Best Picture that year.
The second should be equally obvious: could you even imagine seeing this ever again? I can’t. Like most events of its kind, the Oscars probably vet and vet again all the people behind stage, and have the security of a death-row prison to keep strangers out. That plus the few second delay ensures that nothing quite as racy will ever again be seen on live television. Delicious then. Impossible now.
The third is that Niven’s reaction was priceless. So many potentially iconic or controversial moments have been dulled by the lame reaction of the Oscars crowd: which is normally to boo people who dare step outside the mainstream. Thus, Sacheen Littlefeather got booed off the stage. Instead, Niven showed his natural wit and charm by reacting immediately to the unscripted moment with a real quip of his own.
The fourth is that the streaker represents a freeze frame of a long-gone moment of American cultural ethos, one that we simply would never see today. At the height of the sexual revolution, of the pissed off masses, of the protesting youth, this guy brought it home to the place that always tries to insulate itself from such happenings. The Oscars are supposed to be neutral and celebratory (a dubious and self-serving proposition to say the least) but this guy brought the protests of the outside to their backyard in a memorable way. Indeed, the story of the man behind the infamous act is nothing short of fascinating, if tragic: he was a political activist and artist, and was murdered in the course of a robbery of his art gallery - the first in the country to focus on art by gay individuals - a few years after the show.
And, fifth: Nudity. Need I say more?