Viking Night: eXistenZ
By Bruce Hall
March 15, 2016
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Merriam-Webster defines an “anachronism” as “something...that is mistakenly placed in a time where it does not belong in a story, movie, etc.”. This, and oddly NOT the inexplicably bizarre spelling is why David Cronenberg's eXistenZ drives me crazy. But the fact that this is ostensibly a movie about gaming and gamers gets in my eyes like a single super annoying grain of sand, and I just can’t get it out! You know the way doctors can point out the bullshit in an episode of House, or a jet pilot can spot all the mistakes they made in Top Gun? Well, not unlike practitioners of those noble professions, I feel like I know a little about video games.
So, I’m tainted. Is that my fault, or the movie’s fault, or what? I don’t know, but I can tell you that one of the main plot points of the movie became difficult for me to accept because of it. I know, that makes me sound like an unimaginative schmuck who has a problem suspending his disbelief. Hear me out, though, and I think you’ll be with me. Before I get into that, let’s talk about one of the best things about eXistenZ, which is that it’s one of the few movies ever made about virtual reality that don’t deserve to be shot into space during the cultural revolution that will no doubt accompany a Trump presidency.
In both film and reality, VR generally requires bulky or otherwise inconvenient accessories. But imagine a world where instead of donning a pair of goggles, you could just close your eyes, and you were there - like a dream? Well, that’s a whole new ball of wax, and I’ll give eXistenZ credit for being a film that manages to comment on technology without actually being about technology in any way. I guess what gets under my skin is the approach, and there’s a reason I’m using that metaphor. Proceed only if you don’t mind having a USB port at the base of your spine that’s just big enough for Jude Law to stick his tongue into.
eXistenZ happens in a world that looks like ours, and I’m guessing smells like ours. But it doesn’t sound or operate at all like our universe. Case in point - the film opens on the unveiling of the world’s most anticipated new game, called “eXistenZ”. But it doesn’t take place at CES, or even in the parking lot of a Best Buy or after hours at a Radio Shack. No, it takes place in what looks like a disused Presbyterian church with a complete lack of press and a level of security best described as “hipster squad”. This is important, because the guest of honor at the event is Allegra Geller (Jennifer Jason Leigh), designer of the game, and cash cow for the publisher, Antenna Research.
By the way - that’s a fantastic name for a company - and not just because it comes straight out of a Resident Evil game.
Anyway, the reason I brought up security is because a would-be assassin (Kris Lemche) infiltrates the event with a pistol made of bone that shoots - get this - human teeth. His attack is chronicled in what is without question one of the worst action sequences I’ve ever seen in any kind of movie ever in my life. Thank God this is not an action movie, or this would be the end of the article. Instead, what we establish is that a shadowy conspiracy, based entirely in the surrounding countryside, wants Allegra and her new game eliminated. If this had been a snide criticism of the gaming industry's inherent misogyny, this would also be the end of the article. Five stars. Two thumbs up. Well done.
No such luck. The story's inciting incident, and the dialogue involved with it, seems written, rehearsed and filmed by creatures who have never seen humans interact before. Everyone immediately pegs Allegra as the target of a vast conspiracy, whose icy tendrils reach into every nook and cranny of society. Antenna assigns an underling named Ted (Jude Law) to look after the wounded Allegra, who insists on eschewing traditional medical attention to go off the grid, Sarah Connor style. While driving around aimlessly for no reason, Allegra decides that the most important thing to do is not to go to the police, but for Ted to play eXistenZ with her. Apparently the only copy of a $38 million game is on her game pod, and it may have been damaged during the attack.
That’s mind-bendingly stupid for a hundred reasons, but this leads me to two things. One, it’s hard to feel any sympathy for a video game designer who walks around with the only existing copy of all their work in a fleshy pod under their arm. Second, did I say fleshy pod? Why, yes I did. Remember when I said eXistenZ takes place in an oddball facsimile of our world? Well here, Playstations are organic computers made from bits and parts of various animals, and therefore look like something pulled out of the dumpster behind an organ donation clinic.
And, instead of plugging into your television, they plug directly into a “bio-port” at the small of your back with an actual umbilical cord. This is something that has apparently swept the country, and there are very few people left who have not been willing to let a gas station attendant punch a hole in their spine so they can have a place to plug in their Xbox made out of raw pork. I’m going to come out and admit that I was so thrown off by this that it completely distracted me from anything and everything else eXistenZ was trying to do. I suppose if the film took place in some far flung futuristic world where getting penetrated by a slimy Lovecraftian horror was the only way to play Grand Theft Auto, I could accept this. But here it feels like a blatant anachronism, as wildly out of place as Abraham Lincoln with an iPad.
And… this is where I’m going to stop. What did you think? Wasn’t that Merriam-Webster thing awful? I did that once in college, thinking it made me sound smart. Apparently it makes you sound insecure and douchy. The point is, if you are not familiar with Cronenberg, or you're not patient enough to let a confusing story play out a bit before making up your mind, that’s the movie you’re going to see. The majority of eXistenZ is a confusing mess. There’s no setup or backstory, the visual effects are haphazard in a very specific way, and if there’s a specific narrative theme to be found, you may end up stabbing your eyes out trying to find it. If you turned this movie off halfway through and rage quit out of frustration, I wouldn’t blame you. This is what watching a Cronenberg film is all about, and I can’t sit here and say that eXistenZ has a specific agenda, because I’m not sure it does. I think the film isn’t making a point so much as it is posing a question:
What is reality, and what does it mean to exist?
That’s a pretty big question, but name of the titular game is literally a play on the word “existence.” I don’t want to spoil anything for those of you stout enough to make it through the first hour of this movie, but there’s a “twist” near the end that lends a certain amount of perspective to things. It doesn’t answer questions so much as it reinforces the ones already hanging in the air at that point. Remember when I lauded eXistenZ for its take on virtual reality? This movie was released the same year as The Matrix, another film that played fast and loose with reality and perception. But while The Matrix was a fun, mind bending sci-fi romp, eXistenZ takes a similar fundamental concept much further, posing a genuine existential conundrum in the process.
For eXistenZ, video games are really just a metaphor for a larger issue facing just about everyone, every day. Most people spend a lot of time meticulously crafting alternate realities to engage, even as we withdraw from the reality we actually inhabit. Television, movie, video games, drugs, sex - you name it. All of these are potentially useful forms of fun and entertainment, but to withdraw yourself from reality is, some would argue, an illusion. Cronenberg seems to suggest that the machines we create to entertain us do not separate us from reality; they merely introduce us to a subset of it. Everything that exists is a part of everything else and believing that you can run away from one part of it or another is the biggest joke in the universe.
And the best/worst part is, the characters in eXistenZ “port” into the simulation the same way the characters from The Matrix “jack” into cyberspace - but in the world of eXistenZ, the simulation is so indistinguishable from reality that if you “jack” into the simulation while you’re already INSIDE it, you could end up in an Inception style hall of mirrors, never sure for the rest of your life if you’re actually “out” or not. This becomes a point of philosophical contention in the film, and a political movement forms around it. The idea is that as a community, we’ve become so fat and happy that there’s nothing left to do escape to a fantasy world while reality crumbles around our limp, drooling bodies.
In the end, eXistenZ offers no opinions on this, and makes no effort to answer its own questions, or to point you in any particular direction. It simply offers food for thought - what does it mean to exist? And when we willingly disengage from reality too deeply or for too long, do we become less human? Do we come to value life and living less? I’m not sure anyone knows the answer to this, but maybe it’s because not enough of us are asking the question. Like most Cronenberg films, I can’t say that I like eXistenZ very much, but I do “get” it. I am pretty sure I’ll never watch Videodrome, Naked Lunch, or eXistenZ ever again. But I’ll think about them, and I’ll think about the questions they posed, and it will keep me up at night.
Whether I enjoy it or not, if that’s the only thing a film like this accomplishes, then it’s done its job.