Viking Night: The Last Starfighter
By Bruce Hall
February 22, 2017
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Twenty years ago, I could have told you every detail. Now, I’m not so sure. Didn’t I have a Star Wars cake? Of course I did. Every boy that age has a Star Wars cake. Or was that my brother? I have no idea. All I remember now about the big o-eight is that I must have had one, or I’d have been scarred for life. Past that, your guess is as good as mine. I just close my eyes and pretend Harrison Ford and Billy Dee Williams were there along with James Bond and the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders.
Yes. That sounds like something that would have happened in the ‘80s.
Another thing that happened in the ‘80s was that everyone in Hollywood wanted a piece of that sweet, sweet Star Wars cash. Every studio under the sun was flinging noodles at the wall, trying to capture their own sci-fi magic, and The Last Starfighter is definitely one of a long list of knockoffs. In fact, let’s just go ahead and get that one out of the way. Yes, this movie is a Star Wars knockoff. Absolutely. I’m pretty sure they even directly lifted some of the “pew-pew” sound effects for the space battles.
But I wouldn’t hold that against the film. Star Wars itself was itself a proud mélange of many different inspirations. For me, the question isn’t whether a film like this is derivative - that’s a given. The question is, does it take the same old ideas in any new directions? I’m happy to report that it does...but not at first. Maybe it’s the kid in me, too deeply steeped in the pop culture currents of the late 20th century to look at anything objectively.
As such, the opening credits for The Last Starfighter felt immediately reminiscent of the opening credits to 1978’s Superman. And the theme music felt like an uninspired paint by numbers facsimile of a sci-fi theme, based on unused manuscripts fished out of the dumpster behind John Williams’ house. I did notice, however, just as I would have in 1984, that the visual effects at this point were way more impressive than I was expecting. In fact, Starfighter would go on to become quite controversial for its visual effects.
But more on that in a moment.
The setup could be that of dozens of other films from the time, except this time it feels specifically like life on Uncle Owen’s moisture farm. Alex Rogan (Lance Guest) is a restless teenager living in a southern California trailer park with his mother and younger brother. His girlfriend Maggie (Catherine Mary Stewart) lives nearby. Forgive me for giving into convention, but it’s the most well-adjusted trailer park I’ve ever seen. Everyone comes out of their homes to water their lawns and say hello to each other at the same time every morning. There are adorable little old ladies, hard-working middle-age single parents and exactly one black man, all living in the sort of blissful harmony you usually see only in a Coca-Cola commercial
Alex’s peers, including Maggie, spend their free time doing what kids in rated PG movies do. They ride around in the backs of pickup trucks, they hang out at the lake, and the action never gets past a little light petting and pecking on the lips. Alex, of course, has bigger aspirations. His days are mostly spent doing odd jobs around the park, and his friends mock him for wanting to go to college. But Alex has big dreams...of...well...actually we’re never really told what.
Alex just HAS big dreams, and a pleasant but dull as dishwater existence at the Shady Acres trailer park isn’t going to cut it.
As luck would have it, Alex is really, really good at the Starfighter video game that sits outside the local coffee shop. Alex spends a lot of time there, clearing his head by killing aliens. Also, that one black man in town? His sole purpose in the film is to be the Wise Old Negro who dispenses sage advice like, “When your chance comes, you’ve got to grab it with both hands and hold on tight.” But I did warn you this movie was derivative, and it is also from the 1980s, when people were more comfortable with eye-rolling ethnic stereotypes.
Alex eventually beats the high score of the game, to the delight of the entire town. Not ONE person tells him that videogames are a stupid waste of time - they ALL cheer him on. If the Septuagenarian Stepford-like atmosphere of this trailer park wasn’t already weird enough, this just takes you right out of the damn movie. But, no matter. The Last Starfighter has a pretty good sense of humor, you’ll come to find.
What I’m saying is, a bunch of old people getting excited about a videogame is the LEAST unusual thing that happens to Alex in this story.
Later, in the middle of the night, a strange car pulls up alongside Alex, who is wandering around at that time because it’s important he be alone (this is that kind of film). Behind the wheel is an eccentric old man named Centauri (Robert Preston), who casually informs Alex that he’s the inventor of the game, and is looking for the teenage boy who broke the record, so could he please get into the car? Obviously, Alex agrees, because that all seems logical. And even when Centauri turns out to be a lizard, and the car transforms into a spaceship with California plates, Alex takes it pretty much in stride.
Now, I know I’m indulging in a bit of plot recitation here. But it’s important that you understand how utterly stupid the first half of this movie is. I don’t want you to feel like I let you walk into it. And if you did not grow up in the ‘80s, the tone of The Last Starfighter might be a little off-putting. Yes, it’s one of those “young boy with restless spirit is the Chosen One” stories. But it’s also part Star Wars, part ABC Afterschool Special, and part Woody Allen movie in space. The film seems well aware of all this, and as such it even makes a little fun of itself from time to time. That’s good, because the leaps of logic don’t get any better in the second half.
The video game Alex wasted his youth on was actually a recruitment platform for pilots. And having broken the high score, Alex is now swept up in an intergalactic war between the forces of Goodness, and a race of alien lizards with British accents. Nobody mentions what an incredible act of desperation it is to pick out fighter pilots this way, and I love that. That’s like Dale Junior recruiting you for his race team based on your Xbox Live profile. The Last Starfighter aspires to be nothing more than a crowd pleaser, and this sense of awareness is what makes me forgive such narrative trespasses.
Besides, in the second half, the star of the show is the special effects. Starfighter used innovative techniques to achieve a very distinctive look that I’ve seldom seen since (television’s Babylon 5 comes to mind). It’s the kind of cartoonish looking early CGI that wasn’t any more realistic looking back then than it is now. But it works exceptionally well for what it’s meant to do, and it really does have a unique, fascinating look. I can appreciate it even now, and what I appreciate even more is that the film’s sense of consciousness extends here, too.
Very specific plot points address the limitation of how many ships can be onscreen at once, and why a particular cockpit effect looks the way it does. This is a rare occasion when a film swung for the outfield rather than the fence with a new technology, and that sense of restraint does the film many favors.
It’s all of these things - plus some surprisingly crisp individual performances - that make me love The Last Starfighter. It knows what it is, it isn’t embarrassed by that, and it really, really wants you in on the fun. It’s like your neighbor who has the Camaro. We all know it’s because he can’t afford a Corvette. But in the right hands, a Camaro can be just as much fun. The Last Starfighter is not Star Wars, but it’s almost good enough.
And that’s all I ever needed it to be. With the passage of time, I realize that as a kid I was jaded by my love for Star Wars. I’ll never get to be a kid again, but it's a pleasant surprise to find out I like The Last Starfighter considerably MORE than I did back then. Fair enough trade for me.