How to Spend $20 This Week
By Les Winan
April 21, 2004
BoxOfficeProphets.com

I thought you were supposed to be imaginary.
Taking a look ahead at the week's DVD releases is always dicey for your wallet. Nearly every week, there's a disc that would fit nicely into any size collection. When it comes time to decide what to buy, there are really two determining factors: how much you love the content and the quality of the extra features on the disc.

As a result, decisions will be totally subjective (I bought the full run of the unjustly canceled ABC dramedy Sports Night, no matter that the discs are featureless, The Criterion Collection edition of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is a disc I had been dreaming of for years). The massive unreleased studio (film and television) back-catalogue means that every week there's likely something for every film fan. So before you think to yourself, "I’m not a member of the Murphy family, but I’ll watch Haunted Mansion more than once!" stop; ask yourself, "Why!?" and then check to see if Haunted Mansion (or your disc of choice) is one of the weekly BOP DVD recommendations.

For Charlie Murphy…and Rick James, bitch!: Haunted Mansion (Widescreen) (2003)

I don’t have the time, interest or motivation to spew venom on the sad state of Eddie Murphy’s career, but when Charlie “Frank Stallone” Murphy’s involvement in the Dave Chappelle Show is the highlight of the past couple of years for the Murphy family, that’s not a good thing. It’s not going to be my DVD Pick of the Week, but I did just pick up the first season of the Chappelle Show on DVD today. When season two hits, expect a mention. Otherwise, Wayne Brady might have to choke a bitch. For people foolish enough to pick up the Haunted Mansion DVD, you’ll find bloopers, featurettes, and deleted scenes. Also, one scary movie. Scary bad.

For Roger Ebert: Wild Things (Unrated) (1998); Wild Things 2 (2004)

Roger Ebert’s unrequited love for Neve Campbell makes him the most likely person to run out and buy both of these discs. Hopefully for Roger’s sake, he knows she’s not in Wild Things 2 and substitutes a purchase of Three to Tango, which he, uh, loved. Well, he definitely loves her “wide, intelligent breasts”. As for Denise Richards, can someone still be hot despite screwing up a role as a Bond girl and being married to Charlie Sheen? I’ll forgive the Bond girl mistake, but nobody married to Charlie Sheen can still be hot. Wild Things 2’s DVD has a featurette. Wild Things (Unrated) just has more “unrated” material. I just hope it’s not more of Kevin Bacon naked. If that’s one of the six degrees, I’m not interested in the game any more.

For the only person prettier than Kate Bosworth -- Orlando Bloom: Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! (Widescreen) (2004)

Poor Topher Grace. Poor, poor Topher Grace. He deserves so much better than movies like this. Though he can’t have complained about looking at Kate Bosworth every day. But here’s hoping he’s not relegated to crap like this and cameos in Ocean’s Twelve and whatever Ashton Kutcher movie comes out next. If you check out the DVD, there’s a gag reel and deleted scenes, but not much else, so clearly someone at the studio knows what they’re working with here…not much. Also, Orlando Bloom is way too much of a pretty boy. I'm just saying.

For people praying for a British sequel to Office Space: The Office: The Complete Second Series (2002)

Okay, so they aren’t really related, but Office Space and The Office do sit next to each other on my DVD shelf. The surprise winner of the Golden Globe for Best Comedy Series, The Office: The Complete Second Series DVD features deleted scenes and outtakes.

For movie names that don’t need to be changed for porn versions (well, the first three words, anyway): Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (Collector's Edition) (2003)

Not as successful in theaters as it should have been, Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World is the DVD Pick of the Week. Hopefully, the film will connect with a larger audience on DVD, because it’s an outstanding movie that reminds you why, despite his reputation, Russell Crowe is so terrific to watch on screen. He really is a great actor, but so much of that, despite the Academy Award, seems to be obscured by a larger-than-life reputation.

Based on two of the novels in Patrick O’Brian’s celebrated Aubrey-Maturin series of British naval novels (Master and Commander, The Far Side of the World), the film focuses on the adventures of the officers and crew of the HMS Surprise as they spar with a French ship in the waters off South America. Crowe and Paul Bettany star as Captain Jack Aubrey and Dr. Stephen Maturin, the ship’s surgeon. While the film spends a great deal of time on their friendship, there is also a good amount of focus on the workings of a British naval vessel, the interactions between officers and crew, and the missions they undertake. The film is extremely well acted and well made, with little special effects trickery (well, obvious trickery) to take the focus off of the realistically rendered scenery.

The DVD Pick of the Week features a nice two-disc set that includes deleted scenes; photo galleries; multi-angle studies; art galleries; and featurettes. The major shame in this is that there isn’t an audio commentary with director Peter Weir and the crew of the film to talk about some of the technical challenges. Having Crowe and Bettany on board (apologies for the pun) to discuss their work would have been extremely enlightening as well, particularly considering the lack of stable work environment. Crowe also went to some interesting lengths to establish himself as the captain of the cast prior to filming. All of that would have been very interesting to add to the DVD experience. Overall, the missing pieces don’t take away from a terrific special edition of a great film, Master and Commander: The DVD Pick of the Week.

April 20, 2004

99.9 (1997)
9 Dead Gay Guys (2002)
ABCD (1999)
As Young as You Feel (1951)
The Big Empty (2003)
Bloodmoon (1990)
Border Warz (2003)
Crisscross (1992)
The Debt (1999)
The Flower of Evil (2003)
Fool for Love (1985)
For the Moment (1994)
Haunted Mansion (Full Frame) (2003)
Haunted Mansion (Widescreen) (2003)
In My Skin (2002)
The Last of Sheila (1973)
Love Nest (1951)
Man of La Mancha (1972)
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (Full Frame) (2003)
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (Widescreen) (2003)
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (Collector's Edition) (2003)
The Office: The Complete Second Series (2002)
Out of the Ashes (2003)
The Playboys (1992)
Power Play (2002)
Recipe for Disaster (2004)
Step Into Liquid (2003)
Tube (2003)
When Eagles Strike (2003)
Wild Things (Unrated) (1998)
Wild Things 2 (2004)
Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! (Full Frame) (2004)
Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! (Widescreen) (2004)