How to Spend $20 This Week
By Les Winan
June 1, 2004
BoxOfficeProphets.com
As a result, decisions will be totally subjective (I bought the full run of the unjustly canceled ABC dramedy Sports Night, no matter that the discs are featureless, The Criterion Collection edition of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is a disc I had been dreaming of for years). The massive unreleased studio (film and television) back-catalogue means that every week there's likely something for every film fan. So before you think to yourself, "I don’t love the elderly, but I’ll definitely watch the sequel to Cocoon more than once!" stop; ask yourself, "Why!?" and then check to see if Cocoon: The Return (or your disc of choice) is one of the weekly BOP DVD recommendations.
For people desperately in need of a way to give a movie studio owned by a international conglomerate more money: Spider-Man (3-Disc Deluxe Edition) (2002)
So I really liked Spider-Man. Really liked it. I was even dumb enough to go out and buy the “Limited Edition Collector’s Gift Set” when the first DVD version of the film was released. As I said back in early 2003:
The most successful film of the year is also one of the more disappointing DVD releases of the year. Those of us suckered into buying the Collector's Set are really bitter. Luckily, the film saves the day. Given the box office returns, it's not worth rehashing the details of the film; you've all seen it. The real shame here is the lackluster DVD set. There are a few nice extras, mostly screen tests and special effects bits, but the commentary track with director Sam Raimi, star Kirsten Dunst, and the producers is yawn inducing and the rest of the features don't really amount to much. It's an oddly uninspiring DVD that could really have expanded the experience of seeing the film for fans.
And I never even got into what a rip-off all of the “Collector’s Gift Set” stuff was. Here’s a “film cell” that you’ll never have any use for! And a completely worthless reprint of the first appearance of Spider-Man in a Marvel comic! Don’t forget to look at the framed photo of Sony executives rolling around on a pile of your money!
Well, naturally, with the release of Spider-Man 2 mere weeks away, Sony has gone back to the well, working to get more money out of people’s pockets for essentially the same product. To be fair, only the first two discs of the set are exactly the same as the original release…but the third disc, Sony promises, will make spending more money worthwhile… That’s the disc with eight “new” featurettes, an ad for Spider-Man 2, and an ad for Spider-Man 2: The Video Game! WHOO! Hold me back, I’m off to the store! Except not so much. What I will do, though, is take the refund check I’m getting for the Limited Edition Collector’s Set and put that toward this release. What? There’s no check in the mail?
For people with significant others as cool as mine: My Baby's Daddy (2004)
Having this release spotlighted serves no purpose other than to explain that my future wife thinks it’s a funny idea for, when she’s either pregnant or after our future children are born, me to get her a shirt that says “Baby Momma." I think that’s pretty cool. Not as cool as explaining that joke to my future in-laws was funny, but still, pretty cool. Anyway, as much as I like the idea of a baby peeing on Michael Imperioli’s head, I’m not going to waste my breath talking about this movie except to pose the following question: Why are Jerry O’Connell and/or Scott Caan not in this film? Too classy for them?
For people search for a punchline for an Arnold Schwarzenegger joke: Das Boot (The Original Uncut Version) (1981)
I really can’t come up with a good joke for the punchline… How did the Schwarzenegger administration lay off California state employees? Gave them Das Boot? I don’t know. In any case, I couldn’t come up with a very good joke, particularly given that Arnold isn’t even in the movie. But every time I read something like “Das Boot” I think of all the morons doing bad Arnold impressions and away we go. If you really need a longer version of Das Boot, the disc does feature a featurette. And 84 minutes of footage not on previous releases. That’s right, the three and a half hour film was too short.
For boring yourself to death: Ali (Director's Cut) (2001)
Thinking about how someone made a boring movie out of the life of Muhammed Ali gives me a headache. Buy When We Were Kings instead. Or Da Ali G Show: Complete First Season. While the disc does feature a commentary with director Michael Mann, I expect that will be as cold, technical and humorless as Mann’s films.
For people wondering how George H.W. Bush is able to keep jumping out of those planes: Cocoon (1985)
Ron Howard’s tale of the revitalized septuagenarians hits DVD today in a package nicer than it probably deserves (after all, it is a Steve Guttenberg film). Don Ameche won an Academy Award for his supporting role as one of the old people. It’s a shame that (and I’m not at all mocking here, I swear) the bulk of the cast has since died, as it would have been interesting to hear their take on being “made young” in a movie. In any case, there’s an audio commentary with director Ron Howard, several featurettes and a still gallery on the disc.
For the last actor to gain a ton of weight for a role and NOT win an Oscar: Cop Land (Director's Cut Collector's Edition) (1997)
Seriously, in Hollywood, does simply putting on weight qualify you for the respect of your peers? You’d think so. If that’s the case, I know that a couple of million Americans are wondering where their Oscars are. Either way, Sylvester Stallone (and his fat ass) are surprisingly good in this film about police corruption. The disc features an audio commentary with director James Mangold, producer Cathy Konrad, and actors Sylvester Stallone and Robert Patrick which I suspect is very interesting.
Sample of commentary:
Stallone: “I ate 37 danishes that day.”
Patrick: “I remember, see, you have raspberry goo on your face right there! Great method work!"
Stallone: “Did you see my last movie? You can get it brand-new at most video stores!”
Also included are deleted scenes; storyboards and a featurette.
For the notion of Jessica Simpson in short shorts: Dukes of Hazzard: The Complete First Season (3-DVD Set) (1979)
I don’t know many people who will buy this set, with the possible exception of an old college roommate who watched reruns most afternoons after class, but I did want to just give all the guys out there the mental image of Jessica Simpson in Daisy Duke’s shorts. Literally. I am, however, sad to report that at no time during either of my trips to Kentucky did I see anybody slide across the hood of their car and climb in a window. But dare to dream. For those who do slide across the hood, climb in a car window and flee police on their way to pick this set up, they’ll find an audio commentary with Daisy Duke herself, Catherine Bach and John “Bo Duke” Schneider; a 20th Anniversary documentary; video game preview; and driving lessons.
For really lonely Buffy fans not satisfied by Charisma Carpenter’s Playboy spread: Eurotrip (Widescreen) (2003)
Hey, Buffy nerds…Michelle Trachtenberg in a bikini! Settle down now. Nothing much original about Eurotrip, though personally, I did find the ads oddly endearing in a “we know it’s terrible but we’re having fun” sort of way. All I know is that the word “unrated” in the DVD version can’t be a bad thing. Particularly when the choice of featurette “Nude Beach Exposed” shows that the filmmakers clearly have their priorities in order. In addition, the disc features an audio commentary and deleted scenes (also “unrated”).
For people who want to see more movies just like Van Helsing: Monster (2003)
Charlize Theron’s Academy Award-winning performance hits shelves today in an extremely disappointing DVD. Theron’s performance alone, dubbed “of the greatest performances in the history of the cinema” by Roger Ebert, should make this film about serial killer Aileen Wuornos worthy of better treatment on DVD. I would expect that it will get that treatment. If you are desperate, serial killer desperate, to own this film, by all means, go out and buy this DVD. If not, wait for the inevitable special edition and hope that it goes into great detail about the makeup and research done by Theron and crew to turn someone so beautiful into someone worthy of The Swan. Hope that there’s an audio commentary with Theron and director Patty Jenkins that goes into detail about their struggles to make the film and the process of doing so. But most of all, hope that not too many people make the mistake of buying this release of the film.
For people wondering exactly how to not to hide soiled sheets from your girlfriend’s parents: Trainspotting (Collector's Edition) (1996)
Quite literally one of the more visceral experiences I have ever had in a movie theater, Trainspotting, the DVD Pick of the Week, finally is released in a respectable DVD form. Based on Irvine Welsh’s extremely stylized (not in a bad way) and harrowing novel of the same name, Trainspotting is, if anything, more tame than the book, but also one of the few adaptations of a terrific novel where what’s lost in translation isn’t really lost. However, if you’re not Scottish or haven’t seen the film before, you may want to turn on the subtitles until you get used to the brogues.
Boasting a terrific cast, Trainspotting introduced Ewan McGregor and director Danny Boyle to the masses. While that’s notable, the supporting players are equally impressive: Robert Carlyle, Ewan Bremner, Jonny Lee “Mr. Angelina Jolie #1” Miller, and Kelly Macdonald. All have since gone on to do other things, but are extremely impressive here. Particularly impressive is Carlyle, who gives a mesmerizing performance of such complete and total insanity, viewing him in any other way in another film is mildly difficult. Such is either the depth of his personal demons or the skill of his craft (uh-oh, channeling James Lipton again). Bremner also falls into the impressive and thereafter unrecognizable category. But McGregor is rightfully the star of the show and has certainly become one of the more interesting and unpredictable, if frequently naked, movie stars working.
Trainspotting is the first novel by Scottish author Irvine Welsh, who writes phonetically how his characters speak. It’s a challenging style, but worth the effort. His books are frequently blunt, hard-edged and graphic, much as the movie adaptation of Trainspotting. The film follows a group of heroin addicts, friends trying at various times to kick the habit or live with it. In book form, there are many more characters and the story is a bit more disjointed and episodic, but it’s translated well onto film, allowing you to follow the characters through genuine development (or conscious lack of). Equal parts nauseating and hilarious; the film is one of my favorites of the past ten years.
The DVD includes an audio commentary with Boyle, screenwriter John Hodge, producer Andrew MacDonald and McGregor; interviews with Boyle, Welsh, MacDonald and Hodge; deleted scenes; photo gallery; several featurettes and interviews from the Cannes Film Festival. A terrific package for the DVD Pick of the Week.
June 1, 2004
Aileen: Life and Death of a Serial Killer (2004)
Ali (Director's Cut) (2001)
Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer (1947)
Back to the Beach (2003)
Catch That Kid (2004)
Cocoon (1985)
Cocoon: The Return (1988)
Common Threads: Stories from the Quilt (1989)
The Company (2003)
Coogan's Bluff (1968)
A Cool Dry Place (1998)
Cop Land (Special Edition) (1997)
Coupling: The Complete Third Season (2-DVD Set) (2002)
Das Boot: Original Uncut Version (1981)
Destination Tokyo (1944)
Dora the Explorer: Super Silly Fiesta (2004)
Dream Lover (1994)
Dukes of Hazzard: The Complete First Season (3-DVD Set) (1979)
The Emigrant (1994)
Eurotrip (Unrated) (2004)
A Far Off Place (1993)
Freaky Friday (1976)
Gay Weddings (2002)
Gone Dark (2003)
The Great White Hype (1996)
How I Got Into College (1989)
Jumpin' Jack Flash (1986)
Little Murders (1971)
Lyricist Lounge: Dirty States of America (2004)
My Baby's Daddy (2004)
My Favorite Wife (1940)
National Lampoon's Senior Trip (1995)
Pelle the Conqueror (1988)
Rabid (Special Edition) (1977)
Slaughter of the Innocents (1993)
The Snake Pit (1948)
Spider-Man (3-Disc Deluxe Edition) (2002)
SpongeBob Squarepants: Spongeguard on Duty (2004)
Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation (2004)
Trainspotting (Collector's Edition) (1996)
Trapped in Paradise (1994)
Two of a Kind (1983)