How to Spend $20
By Les Winan
January 20, 2005
BoxOfficeProphets.com
As a result, decisions will be totally subjective (I bought the full run of the unjustly canceled ABC dramedy Sports Night, no matter that the discs are featureless, The Criterion Collection edition of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is a disc I had been dreaming of for years). The massive unreleased studio (film and television) back-catalogue means that every week there's likely something for every film fan.
For people interested in this week's entry in the "Oscar Winner Who Needs A New Agent" sweepstakes: Catwoman (2004)
What more is there left to say about the debacle that is Catwoman? Not much, really. I will point out that if the film contained a Monster's Ball-style sex scene and a variety of Halle Berry-related nude scenes, it's a safe bet to say that it would have been a massive hit. I think it may be time for Halle Berry and Angelina Jolie to get together for one of those classic "two girls" Playboy shoots. That would probably set a few sales records and give their careers some traction. Of course, given that it's Playboy, they would have to be careful about what they were doing with their respective Oscars. If you're unfortunate enough to be stuck with a Catwoman DVD, you'll be "excited" to explore "great" extra features like deleted scenes, featurettes, a documentary, alternate endings and some DVD-ROM features.
For people interested in this week's second entry in the "Oscar Winner Who Needs A New Agent" sweepstakes: Cellular (2004)
I beginning to wonder what, exactly, Kim Basinger did to win her Oscar for L.A. Confidential. I hesitate to speculate too graphically, but given the breadth and success of her post-Oscar career, it has to be pretty significant. Maybe I'm over-simplifying, but given that Basinger has NEVER been able to carry a movie on her own, wouldn't she have been better off muscling aside actresses without Oscars for the juicy supporting actress roles? Maybe the payday isn't as good, but it's much less likely to end your career tomorrow. If you just love you some cell phones and have to check out this DVD, you'll get an audio commentary with director David Ellis and writers Larry Cohen and Chris Morgan; deleted scenes; and featurettes. The least they could have done is include footage of Basinger "lobbying" for her Oscar.
For people interested in this week's third entry in the "Oscar Winner Who Needs A New Agent" sweepstakes (just kidding): The Cookout (2004)
I just can't muster up an appropriate amount of venom for crap like this. No amount of booze could motivate me to properly eviscerate a film like The Cookout. The myriad of offenses involved is just too high to properly delve into. Included on the disc is a variety of outtakes; an audio commentary with "stars" Jenifer Lewis and Storm P; music montages; featurettes; bloopers and deleted scenes. We can get an audio commentary with Jenifer Lewis and Storm P, but Steven Spielberg can't stoop to let us in on the process behind making Schindler's List?
For people interested in movies that fall into the category that the title describes: The Forgotten (2004)
Take note, Julianne Moore desperately needs the new Paul Thomas Anderson project to get the greenlight. Desperately. If only she'd won an Oscar, this could be a true theme column. But alas, she doesn't conform to the column. No matter how exciting it is to be in a movie with Anthony "Goose" Edwards" it's still not enough to make the movie a) good or b) a blockbuster. If you forget to check the reviews, you'll be stuck with a DVD that has two versions of the film: the original theatrical cut and an extended cut with deleted scenes and an alternate ending; audio commentary by director Joseph Ruben and writer Gerald DiPego and featurettes.
For people looking for one ray of hope in an otherwise dark DVD week: Friday Night Lights (2004)
The one release this week of even some quality is Friday Night Lights. As a result, by fault it is the DVD Pick of the Week (did I tell you it was lean until at least March?). Based on the book of the same name, Friday Night Lights follows the fortunes of a small-town Texas high school football team as they try to win a state championship. Starring Billy Bob Thornton, Tim "My wife is really hot" McGraw, and Derek Luke, the film was well regarded, but not loved, by critics and audiences alike.
Realistically, the basic lack of features on the disc don't really qualify for selection on any DVD Pick of the Week list, and the film itself sure doesn't outweigh the lack of features. But what else can be said about the post-Christmas weeks of DVD releases other than that they are, much like Catwoman, uninspired. If you do check out this disc, you'll find deleted scenes and featurettes, not enough to buy the DVD for, but enough to make Friday Night Lights the DVD Pick of the Week.
January 18, 2005
After Stonewall (1999)
Angel of Death (2002)
The Ballad of the Sad Cafe (1991)
Before They Were Kings (Volume 1) (2005)
Carrie (1952)
Casque D'or (Criterion Edition) (1952)
Catwoman (2004)
Cavedweller (2004)
Cellular (2004)
The Cookout (2004)
Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Complete Third Season (2003)
The Deceivers (1988)
The Forgotten (2004)
Freeze Frame (2004)
Friday Night Lights (2004)
Gracie's Choice (2004)
Iron and Silk (1990)
Lana's Rain (2002)
The Matchmaker (1958)
Maya (2001)
Never Get Outta the Boat (2002)
A New Kind of Love (1963)
Rosenstrasse (2003)
Sex and the Single Mom (2003)
Siberia (1998)
Stella Street (2004)
Touchez pas au Grisbi (Criterion Edition) (1953)
Who's Your Daddy (2003)