How to Spend $20
By Les Winan
July 27, 2005
BoxOfficeProphets.com
For unnecessary sequels: XXX: State of the Union (Widescreen Special Edition) (2005)
The most memorable moment of the original xXx film was when the arms dealers summons several women with the indelible phrase, "Bitches, come." It was a great moment in cinema history and one that should make you sad that both original star Vin Diesel and director Rob Cohen (crushing our hopes of quality theatrical experiences this weekend with Stealth) couldn't be coaxed into returning for the inevitable sequel. In fact, the only returning actor from the first film is Mr. I'll-do-anything-for-a-paycheck himself, Samuel L. Jackson, playing the equivalent of Judi Dench's M from the Bond films (only with significantly less class and a much filthier mouth). XXX: State of the Union stars Ice Cube as the new xXx (maybe it's just me, but that seems like an exXxtremely typologically anal code name for a secret agent. There's really no need to recount whatever story the film purports to have, as the most important thing is blowing shit up. Included on the disc are an audio commentary with director Lee Tamahori (Die Another Day); deleted scenes; and featurettes.
For my lovable dog, Shithead: The Jerk (26th Anniversary Edition) (1979)
How an anniversary edition of Steve Martin's best movie (until The Pink Panther is released. Right? Right??) can not include any extra footage or interviews is mindboggling, but to not include what would possibly be the greatest audio commentary in the history of the world is just criminal. Having an audio commentary with Martin and director Carl Reiner would have been an enlightening lesson in comedy from two of the most brilliant comedy minds of the last 50 years. But no, this is a classic studio cash-in. Martin should be ashamed that his seminal movie was turned into yet another crappy DVD release. Starring Martin as Navin R. Johnson, who "was born a poor black child," and ended up making it rich, The Jerk is a fantastic exercise in non-sequitur Martin humor. What is included on the DVD? It's pretty exciting, not in an exciting way. Two featurettes! It's so exciting! An insult to the fans is what this DVD is.
For remembering that "unrated" equals "more nudity": Not Another Teen Movie (Unrated Director's Cut) (2001)
Ah the spoof. It enjoyed such a comeback in the late '90s and now...not so much. Luckily for people who like copious, gratuitous nudity, Not Another Teen Movie is back with a new "Unrated" director's cut, including ten minutes of new nud...footage. Vomiting back portions of the plot of every teen movie of the past decade, the film isn't much to write home about, but the DVD is surprisingly impressive. In addition to the extra footage, there's an audio commentary with the film's cast, a "factoids track"; featurettes; music videos; a short film, and other features.
For having hot daughters: The Upside of Anger (2005)
The always reliable Joan Allen has hit on one truly great concept with The Upside of Anger: join a cast where four attractive women play your daughters (Evan Rachel Wood, Keri Russell, Alicia Witt and Erika Christensen) and maintain your own older-woman attractiveness. Allen, one of the most reliably fantastic actresses working, stars in this film about a woman dealing with the loss of her husband, new romance and four daughters. Also, she's dealing with having Kevin Costner in the film. Costner, stretching once again to play a former baseball player, plays the love interest for Allen, a decent career choice for someone whose supporting roles of late are far more memorable than his starring roles (certainly the material is better). Included on the disc are deleted scenes, a documentary, and, refreshingly, an audio commentary with director Mike Binder and star Joan Allen. The simple fact that Joan Allen participates in the audio commentary is enough to make The Upside of Anger the DVD Pick of the Week.
July 26, 2005
3rd Rock From the Sun: Season 1 (4-DVD Set) (1996)
Aussie Park Boyz (2003)
Bangkok Haunted (2001)
Beulah Land (1980)
Bolero (1984)
Brothers in Arms (2005)
Fighting Tommy Riley (2005)
Gate of Flesh (Criterion Edition) (1964)
Gates of Heaven (1978)
Ghost in the Shell (Vol. 7) (2002)
Hollywood Flies (2004)
Hotel (2001)
The Jerk (26th Anniversary Edition) (1979)
King's Ransom (2005)
The Mary Tyler Moore Show: The Complete Second Season (3-DVD Set) (1971)
Mata Hari (1985)
No Witness (2004)
Not Another Teen Movie (Unrated Director's Cut) (2001)
Onibi: The Fire Within (1997)
Particles of Truth (2003)
Prison A-Go-Go! (2003)
Raging Sharks (2005)
Remington Steele: Season One (4-DVD Set) (1982)
Slaves of New York (1989)
Sorum (2001)
Steamboy (Director's Cut) (2005)
Steamboy (Director's Cut/Gift Set) (2005)
Story of a Prostitute (Criterion Edition) (1965)
Target of Opportunity (2004)
They Are Among Us (2004)
The Thin Blue Line (1988)
Unreal (2004)
The Upside of Anger (2005)
Vernon, Florida (1982)
Warm Summer Rain (1989)
The Whole Shebang (2001)
Wild Orchid 2: Blue Movie Blue (1992)
Wilder Days (2003)
xXx: State of the Union (Full Frame Special Edition) (2005)
xXx: State of the Union (Widescreen Special Edition) (2005)