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Hello, good people, and welcome back to another fun-filled episode of Survivor: Gabon. My name is Jim and I'm back in town after a quickie vacation last weekend and I'm excited as ever to be back on the keyboard with another episode of Survivor. Well, in all fairness, the big shocking twist that was supposed to have everyone talking was quite the dud. Also, the whole "you'll never believe what's in this box" subplot was weak and annoying. Honestly, with that kind of build-up, only the severed head of GC wrapped in a note telling them that the game was going to stop being polite and start getting real would have lived up to the hype. Like some kind of sick, macabre Stephen King novel gone wrong. As it is, we got a fake merge...yawn. And then another tribal swi...zzzzzzzzz.

My bad. While I was sleeping it looks like Ken and Crystal offered Susie their friendship in exchange for Marcus' head...and she delivered. For the third vote in a row, one of the strongest players in the game was taken out of the game. Previews for this week suggest we'll get the merge that was faked last week. I know I can't wait to see Corinne's face when she sees that Marcus bought a ticket to the jury. She keeps telling us what a bitch she is and I'm hoping to see it this week. Anything would be better than watching Crystal be terrible in challenges and even worse as a person. Seriously, can we petition the IOC to take back her Gold Medal on the grounds of "we don't want someone like that representing our country as a gold medal winner"? No? Oh well, maybe she'll be voted out this week. That would make me feel better.

We begin this episode in an unusual place, Kota camp after Tribal. Ken tells us how he's so glad that he wasn't the one voted out. He's feeling pretty good about himself right now as he's orchestrated two blindsides in a row. He also tells us that Bob is in trouble if they lose again. Bob tells us that unless there's a merge, he's likely to be history. Even though he teaches science. Ah, that teacher humor...doncha miss it? No? Neither do I, cue the opening.

We come back from break to the Fang tribe on Day 25 and they cannot make a fire and they are completely out of rice. Matty tells us that he needs a merge real bad or he's not gonna make it much longer. And with that, Matty and Charlie come back with Tree Mail in the form of what appears to be a golf flag. The clue suggests some sort of golf type challenge with a sweet cultural reward for the winners. As they unwrap and practice a slingshot, Corinne tells us she's disappointed that there's no merge yet, but she's excited about seeing Marcus. Oh, dear...this is gonna be bad. We could have an implosion of epic proportions here. Can't wait.

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