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STUPID STUPID STUPID.

The men are up next and with the rather lackluster performance of the girls, they should take this easy. We start off with the Golden Delicious dishes of Michael's apple sorbet and goat cheese cookie with a chilled almond soup with king crab from Kevin. Both are highly praised - Todd calls Kevin's soup "delicious" and says that Michael's dish is "ridiculously good."

With the Tequila we have an arctic char dish with caper sauce from Mike (a lot of arctic char this season so far...), Bryan's macaroon with guacamole and corn chips instead, a lobster cocktail from Ron and a tofu and lemon lime tequila ceviche. The char and lobster dishes fall really flat with the judges but Gail loves the tofu ceviche and as well as the play on guacamole and chips with Bryan. Todd also comments on how hard it is to make a good meringue.

Finally, with the Moscow Mule, we have thai tune tartare from Eli, a boulabaisse with aioli crouton from Frenchie Mattin and an asian chicken wing from Ash, who is also gay.

Gail loves the tartare and Todd agrees, saying that it makes sense with the drink. Mattin's boulabaisse is "very off" according to Gail but Ash's chicken wing is "perfectly paired" with the chicken according to Tom. Todd agrees saying that he could eat and drink Ash's dish all day.

Yes, the men have kicked the women's butts. As if to illustrate their victory, a bunch of the men strip off their shirts and dive into the pool. This is a pretty crass move, even at a Vegas bachelor / bachelorette's party, and does nothing except to show off how obese some of the men are. This is a far cry from Season 2 when the chefs elatedly ran into the ocean after their surfer-breakfast Elimination challenge.

Back at the stew room, the women seem optimistic about the chances of winning but I know better. They have no chance. "Definitely women on bottom," my boyfriend says, inadvertently commenting on what likely takes place after the majority of bachelor and bachelorette parties.

Sure enough, Padma walks in and calls for Bryan, Hector, Eli and Michael. Ah, so both brothers are on the top. They are indeed announced as the top chefs on the winning team and the men trade fist bumps. There's very little emotion shown, just a lot of posing and "nice goin', bro" gestures. I idly wonder if the room smells of testosterone.

Apparently, the judges LOVED these four dishes, as the praise-train doesn't stop. Gail loves Eli's tartare, saying that the acid and seasoning were great. Todd also liked how the ginger in his dish matched the ginger in the drink. Michael knocked it out of the park with his sorbet, with Tom saying that the concept and the execution of the dish were great. Hector's tofu was phenomenal, with Todd noting how hard it is to sell tofu on a menu but saying that Hector's dish would change people's mind. Gail loved the texture of Bryan's dish and Todd saying that it was a brilliant play on what people love: chips, guacamole and tequila.

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