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Then in 2006, both franchises were booted anew. Daniel Craig acquired his license to kill and the story went back to Bond's origins. Steve Martin became a new Clouseau and a more family-friendly vibe was at the heart of the pratfalls and silliness. I will refrain from repeating my tongue-lashing against the doublespeak of "re-fill in the blank" a series or franchise but I do have an opinion on where the origin of looking at every new installment as a chance for a do-over stems from: a certain caped crusader's second charge to the big screen and the perceived failure of this chapter two, resulting in a completely new direction for the brand. Is this a fair encapsulation? 17 years after the fact, how does Batman Returns hold up as Bruce Wayne's return trip to the big screen?

There are numerous ways to compare and contrast Batman with Batman Returns but let's start with a quiz. In which one does a) the actor playing the villain get top billing on the poster, b) his character completely upstage the hero and c) the musical soundtrack feature original songs composed and performed by Prince? In which one does a) not one, not two, but three "villains" all upstage the hero and b) the film soundtrack feature only one song, an original tune by Siouxsie and the Banshees? Don't ponder too hard on this.

Tim Burton pushed Batman towards commercial and critical glory in 1989 and returned three years later with perhaps the bleakest, kinkiest blockbuster ever to have a corporate-approved kids meal tie-in. If Batman is dark and shadowy but pointed towards the light thanks to a larger than life comic performance by Jack Nicholson and dance funk on the soundtrack, then Batman Returns is shiny, cold and dragged down to icy depths, an anti-Christmas tale and would-be film noir wrapped up inside of enough bondage gear, sexual dysfunction and parent issues to fuel a year's worth of sessions on an analyst's couch. The writer and producer of Heathers collaborate with the director of Beetlejuice and Edward Scissorhands and the result is, perhaps rightly, a bizarre and unwieldy blend of all three of those films.

I went in with the expectation that this installment might prove to be my favorite. Having seen it only once before, several years after its release, I retained memories of its dark cynicism and incredible production design by Bo Welch. Those impressions still stand. What I had forgotten is how the story seems to drift aimlessly from one moment to the next, carrying its characters along for the ride, rather than letting it seem that their actions are pushing the plot along. I also had to come to terms with the realization that, as much as I may deride both of Joel Schumacher's installments for their campy "comic book" (in the pejorative sense of the word) imagery and storytelling, Batman Returns suffers from similar issues. Burton's film simply wraps itself up in camp after its own fashion - BDSM repackaged for the Hot Topic set - and works too hard to create an air of black comic satire. It's one thing for that to work in a small cult film like Heathers, but in an $80 million production (more than double the cost of the first Batman) that at times strives to be a kindred spirit to Edward Scissorhands, the satire winds up heavy-handed and/or often crushed in the attempt to bust blocks.

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