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Saturday 4/10/10

7:30 AM Turner Classic Movies
Hard Boiled Mahoney (1947 USA): Chapter six, in which the Bowery Boys get roped into searching for missing beauty Eleanor Williams (Teala Loring). When Sach (Huntz Hall) and Slip (Leo Gorcey) go to collect some overdue wages from a detective agency, they're mistaken for private investigators by Eleanor's sister Selena (Betty Compson), and are soon sniffing the East Side for clues. Could murder and a phony psychic figure into the proceedings? As Slip might say, indutibably!

1:00 PM Fox Movie Channel
Staircase (1969 GB): A pair of mincing, bitchy, terribly stereotypical London hairdressers are the focus of this Stanley Donen-helmed gay-themed drama. The two are played by a limp-wristed Richard Burton, who is good but over-the-top, and a more restrained Rex Harrison, who was possibly more comfortable in his role than was the hyper-masculine Welshman. It's by no means perfect, but was the first film from a major studio to attempt a realistic portrayal of gay relationships, beating William Friedkin's The Boys in the Band into cinemas by a year. If you can overlook its not-so-flattering gay stereotypes, you'll ultimately find Staircase a warm-hearted and moving film that must be acknowledged as ahead of its time.

Sunday 4/11/10

3:30 PM IFC
Breaker! Breaker! (1977 USA): Do I like CB radio movies? That's a big ten-four, good buddy. CB radios were all the rage during my childhood and briefly spawned their own cinematic sub-genre, including this adventure vehicle for up and coming Chuck Norris. Everyone's favorite Teabagger stars as J. D. Dawes, a trucker who enjoys karate, Zen meditation, arm-wrestling, and coining cool new ham radio handles. When younger brother Billy (Michael Augenstein) disappears after visiting Texas City (located, naturally, in California), J. D. hits the road in search of him—and soon finds he's going to have to kick a little ass to rescue his sibling. Consider it done! For anyone who enjoys that special brand of Norris action, Breaker! Breaker! is a must—and it's making its widescreen television debut this afternoon!


11:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Tout les Matins du Monde (1991 FRA): I'm a glutton for punishment: every time a Gerard Depardieu movie airs on TV, I give it a mention. Here's another one, which prompts me to ask myself: do I have some sort of man-crush on the potato-nosed Frenchman? I think the hint of vomit in my mouth suggests otherwise. Perhaps it's just the fact that his films—good, bad, or otherwise—just don't appear on the small screen with any frequency—or perhaps I'm simply a Francophile (Jess Franco, yes, France the country...not so sure). At any rate, here's Tout les Matins du Monde, in which our man Gerard plays Marin Marais, a 17th century musician reminiscing about the sexy derring-do he got up to back in the day. Thankfully, most of the sexiness is performed and personified by Gerard's less ugly son Guillaume, here playing the young Marin. I'm not all that keen on period pieces, but if you like the odd frock flick and can stand looking at Gerard, go nuts.

Monday 4/12/10

1:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Dangerous Moonlight (1941 GB): Not to confused with David Bowie's Serious Moonlight, the dangerous variety features Anton Walbrook as Stefan, a Polish war refugee aching to get back into the fight against the Third Reich. Stefan is an airman, but also a brilliant pianist, and his new wife (Sally Gray) isn't too keen on seeing her man return to the danger zone. The film is pretty talky—most of the wartime action is limited to the final reel—but good production values (courtesy scripter Terence Young and director Brian Desmond-Hurst) and a fine performance from Walbrook more than compensate.

2:00 PM Fox Movie Channel
Terror on the Beach (1973 USA): Another reactionary seventies TV movie that warns America: there's a Manson family in your neighbourhood! And they want to terrify you with their dune buggies and long hair! This Manson family, however, doesn't seem to do much more than drive around being mean to people like Dennis Weaver. No sex, no drugs, and not much rock n roll are in evidence, and they also shave. Note to society's dropouts: when trying to terrify the straights, DO NOT SHAVE. In other words, Terror on the Beach is typical movie of the week fare, but quite entertaining nonetheless.

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