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Bad movie ideas could be the entirety of many, many lists. Today, though, we’re going to deal with five of the worst recent ideas for movies, and we’re only going to focus on five. We’ll try very hard not to get bogged down with more than that many, but when you’re dealing with a topic that is so all-encompassing, it’s hard to stay as focused as possible. Though the topic is something that could be discussed at any time, I’ve decided to dredge up this dark theme in honor of one of this week’s new releases, Death at a Funeral. I know, you’re probably not thinking that Death at a Funeral, starring Chris Rock, Martin Lawrence, Tracy Morgan, Zoe Saldana, and many others, is that bad of an idea. And it’s not. Which is why it was a movie three years ago.

Therein lies the bad idea. Though the movie that Death at a Funeral is a remake of isn’t exactly Avatar or Titanic or any number of wildly famous films, it’s also not a never-before-seen relic. Released in the States in 2007, Death at a Funeral is about the farcical goings-on at a British funeral. The Chris Rock lead character was played by Matthew Macfadyen (he of Pride and Prejudice and Frost/Nixon), the James Marsden character was played by Alan Tudyk (he of Firefly, Dollhouse, and being generally awesome), and the Peter Dinklage character was played by Peter freaking Dinklage. The movie was directed by Frank Oz, formerly Yoda, Fozzie Bear, Miss Piggy, and director of Bowfinger and Little Shop of Horrors. In short, a relatively impressive cast and crew.

So here’s the bad idea: let’s remake a movie that came out with a moderate release three years ago with an all-American cast, predominantly African Americans. Let’s also have it directed by Neil LaBute, who made his name on dour, wordy, and cruel treatises on masculinity in modern America. Let’s make sure the same screenwriter writes the movie (or is at least the solely credited author), and let’s make sure that the movie is almost exactly the same. Just with Chris Rock. There are obvious cash grabs, and there are obvious cash grabs. This is one of those movies, an absolutely pointless exercise. And that, perhaps, is the crux of this week’s list. The ideas here aren’t just bad; they’re pointless. Some of the movies listed have come out. Some are about to. You’re warned. They’re bad ideas; they may be better movies.

I want to clarify, again, before we continue that the movies being listed are so named for the ideas. The movies may be good; the movies may be bad. I’m merely judging concepts here, and since so many movies that come out every week are greenlit through the studio system on concept alone, I think it’s a fair way to judge. All of this is meant to preface the fact that, no, I haven’t seen Alien vs. Predator. I can say that I’m open to the possibility that some of the movies on the list could be good, as they’ve not yet been released, but the ideas are what make me recoil. And the idea of this movie, to some people, might sound awesome. The queen alien from the Alien series fighting the title alien from the Predator series! The latter makes sense, in that the series is identified not by the actors surrounding the baddie, but the baddie itself. But the Alien series works, when it does, because of Sigourney Weaver, not a damn creature.

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