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Most of the controversy surrounding Sex, Lies and Videotape at the time it was released had to do with Graham’s somewhat deviant choice of hobby (the hint is in the title). While it is the sort of thing you don’t see everyday, the subject manner isn’t depicted visually as much as in some strikingly frank conversations between characters. The film’s tension is primarily derived from its dialogue as four seemingly different people cope with an appalling series of events destined to alter their lives forever. The sexually charged nature of the material is really a catalyst that highlights the similarity between the players, where the audience is most likely focused on their differences.

Not surprisingly, forcing four disparate people to shave the same 800 pound gorilla makes them a little easier to understand. John is well aware of his nature and seems the least surprised of everyone when his life begins to unravel. In a sense, the worst person in the movie is the one who seems the best suited for internal analysis. Ann’s ditzy mooning masks a woman who is more self aware than she first appears. Cynthia probably dislikes herself more than she does her sister and Graham, in his threadbare apartment with the blinds drawn, isn’t hiding so much from the world as he is from himself. They key is that everyone in this film is a liar to one degree or another and it’s implied to be the reason their lives are in such a moribund state when we meet them.

Many people mistake the film’s ending for resolution – we seem to think we know what’s going to happen to these people after the credits roll, but all we’ve really seen is their transition from one life phase to another. There’s no guarantee that Ann, John, Cynthia and Graham will still be where we’ve left them in five years, because there’s no guarantee that their shared crisis taught them anything permanent. It isn’t easy to look in the mirror and admit the ugly truth, and as a result it usually takes upheaval or catastrophe to shake us out of our self delusion.

What’s simpler is to be self-conscious about how we look, but its probably more valuable to be self conscious about who we are – and learning to do that is something we all grapple with. Sex, Lies introduces us to a group of people who have mainly themselves to blame for their struggles and it’s not very hard to pity or loathe them for it. But we’re all in denial about something, and learning to face it is painful, but well worth it in the long run. Here’s a variation on an old Russian proverb: "Lies can get you through something but they can’t get you past it." If you’ve seen Sex, Lies and Videotape several times, this is easy to see. If you haven’t seen it more than once – or haven’t seen it at all – its what you should think about when you do.

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