New at BOP: Review: Matrix Resurrections Movie Review: Moonfall Movie Reviews: Scream The #1 Movie in America November Forecast The Many Saints of Newark October Forecast New Trivia Question All site updates Share & Save   Tweet Print this column

Previously on Survivor, the Old vs. Young experiment was deemed a complete failure (which it was) and the show rebooted. The end result is that Tyrone was eliminated immediately for following rules and stuff. Last week, both "new" tribes went to Tribal Council with Espada voting out Yve and La Flor targeting Marty. Oh wait, that's not quite what happened.

After Marty found himself in a run-off vote with Kelly B., the very people who were counting down the moments until his elimination all decided as a group to remove the one-legged woman from the equation instead. The baffling decision is yet another crippling mistake in a very poorly played season to date. The logic offered to justify the move is that Kelly B. would be difficult to beat at the final Tribal Council due to the sympathy evoked by her handicap.

This is an argument that makes sense when there are but a handful of players, all of whom like Kelly B. and are inclined to vote for her. The situation at La Flor was much different in that the only person who liked her was forced to switch tribes, leaving the poor girl without any allies at her camp. Also, there were still 14 (!) players remaining when the decision was made to prevent Kelly B. from winning the game.

Presumably, one of the other contestants, probably Brenda, is capable of time travel and after she got back from killing Hitler, she skipped to the next month to see who won Survivor. Once she saw who it was, she headed to the past, killed the present day Brenda and took her place. We think that's how it happened anyway. The movie Primer confuses us. The only other explanation that makes sense to us is that Marty is a master hypnotist. Either way, previews indicate he's going to be on the warpath this week as he attempts to shake up the power alliance at La Flor. We expect to be dealing with Marty for another 55 minutes or so, unless the hidden immunity idol is played. If so, he's got 7 days and 55 minutes. People hate Marty.

After the vote, Dan is celebrating his invincibility. He references John Gotti, a mafioso nicknamed Teflon Don. He was described in those terms because criminal charges never stuck against him. Dan feels a kindred spirit since there is absolutely no reason whatsoever for him to be in this game yet here he stands...gingerly. We made the tortoise and the hare reference last week, but Dan's situation is more akin to C. Montgomery Burns. In The Mansion Family, an episode that probably aired long after you stopped watching, Burns is revealed to be suffering from every disease possible, including the unlikely combination of juvenile diabetes and hysterical pregnancy. The doctors indicate that even a stiff breeze could prove to be his undoing, but Burns receives this news as an indication that he is immortal, impossible to kill. Dan is just like that. There are seven people voted off thus far, a couple of them not even bad players, and yet the only man in the world with worse knees than Mark Schlereth (he's had 29 knee surgeries) inexplicably remains in the game.

Continued:       1       2       3       4       5