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In yet another bizarrely-timed challenge, the Elimination Challenge will take place at the US Open??? Okay, so I realize that these things are taped in advance, but usually Top Chef is a little bit better about helping viewers overlook this (i.e. filming a 4th of July episode in advance so that it airs right before the 4th of July), but I guess they’ve lost their edge. The US Open (with Nadal’s memorable win over the Djoker to complete his career Grand Slam) took place back in August. This is simply sloppy work from the Top Chef producers. I think it’s time for them to pack their knives…

But, of course, Padma will have nothing of the sort. The cheftestants each draw tennis ball cans (weird) and are separated into two camps: those with yellow tennis balls and those with orange tennis balls. Are these colors meant to signify anything? If they do, it’s over my head.

The US Open challenge will pit chefs from each team against each other, head-to-head. The first team to get four wins (15 --> 30 --> 40 --> game) wins the challenge; the losing team will see two of their chefs eliminated.

At this point, the Top Chef producers focus all of their attention on Team Yellow, which means that (A) either they will be the team creating all of the drama or (B) they’ll be the team that loses. Or both.

Within minutes, we know that (A) will be taking place. Angelo and Spike hatch a devious (?) plan in terms of how they should order their tennis cheftestant gladiators. Meanwhile, the other team takes the inexplicable route of just focusing on their dishes.

The chefs continue strategizing back at the loft, whereupon Tre reveals that he used to be fat. If you watched the Night at the Museum episode, you also know that he sleeps nude. The idea of a fat, nude chef in bed is simply one of the least appetizing things that Top Chef has ever put on their show.

Finally, the cooking gets underway back in the kitchen. Angelo is creating drama (big surprise) because the mackerel that he bought the day before look slimy and gross (kind of like his conscience, if you ask me) and so he takes half of Tiffany’s tuna. Fabio is making gnocchi…which seems odd in a challenge where they have to “feed” top tennis athletes. Jamie is worried about her dried chickpeas (they’re not getting soft enough, quick enough) and…

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Carla has cut her finger. Half of her fingernail is gone and her finger is bleeding profusely. In the past couple of episodes, Top Chef has all of a sudden become Red Asphalt.

Does Carla run to the doctor like a whiney little baby? Nope. Despite the fact that the medics on the show want her to go to the hospital, she tapes it up and soldiers on. Jamie keeps her focus on her not-soft chickpeas.

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