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Producer Dino De Laurentiis managed to convince Universal that the young sci-fi resurgence was ready to support a pricey, tongue-in-cheek homage. He was wrong and the result was financially disastrous, but you can’t blame them for striking hot iron. Star Wars successfully captured the lighthearted tone of an old radio epic, but that film’s look and feel was modern and accessible. Flash Gordon held nothing back, with writer Lorenzo Semple, Jr. and production designer Danilo Donati instructed to party like it was 1939. Their creation emulated the primitive nature of old school story-telling right down to the ham-fisted dialogue, outrageous villains and wildly colorful sets and costumes. The effects sported a deliberately low budget look, and the plot contained so much cheeky homoerotic subtext that it’s almost hard to believe the PG rating. But the film’s decadent, over-the-top style was a relic and the idea of delivering such a meticulously designed and intentional tribute to the past was something audiences simply didn’t understand.

That really is unfortunate, because rare is the film that so successfully nails its source material. Even rarer is the film that so completely transports you into another universe that you find yourself staring at the screen agape with the reverence of a child. It’s more than just a story – it’s an experience. And speaking of story, this one is lifted straight from World War II era canon, and therefore could just about fit on a cocktail napkin. The Earth is under attack by a strange alien force that’s destroying the atmosphere. Flash Gordon (Sam Jones) and the lovely Dale Arden (Melody Anderson) are on board a plane when a freak firestorm forces it down, right through the front door of the famous Dr. Hans Zarkov (Haim Topol). Naturally, Zarkov is the only scientist on earth who understands the true nature of the crisis. Naturally, he also happens to be bat guano insane. And naturally he forces Flash and Dale into his home made rocket, blasting them all into a parallel reality where they hope to find the source of the attack.

If you’re having trouble accepting all of this, please don’t worry. The clunky setup is mercifully brief, and I guarantee it’s the last time you’ll look at your watch for the next 90 minutes. The pace picks up as our travelers arrive in the fantastic kingdom of Mongo, an extravagantly colorful place that looks like Joel Schumacher’s birthday. They discover that Mongo is populated by a handful of eccentric races; all kept at war by their despotic ruler, Ming the Merciless (Max Von Sydow). Ming subjects the Earthlings to unspeakable horrors, and soon Flash and his friends realize that the only way to save the Earth is to unite the warring races against Ming and fight together for freedom. The ending is never in doubt, nobody important gets hurt and in the end, we all learn a valuable lesson about friendship, loyalty and overuse of primary colors.

But what’s more important is that Flash Gordon is such relentless, zany fun that if you’re in the right frame of mind you just can’t help but fall in love with it. Flash Gordon is homage in every sense of the word, fully evocative of the old radio shows your grandfather might have loved as a boy. I tend to think that people who dislike this film or have avoided seeing it are making the mistake of taking it seriously. How can you, when Ming’s henchmen show up to take on Flash dressed in red Lycra jumpsuits and gold lamé man-thongs? How can you not love it when the all powerful Ruler of the Universe questions his visitors, and Flash defiantly identifies himself as starting quarterback of the New York Jets – a team that was 4-12 the year this movie was filmed? I won’t go so far as to say Sam Jones was well cast as Flash because he really is a terrible, terrible (not a misprint, I meant to say it twice) actor. But this only makes Flash’s childlike bewilderment seem even more realistic and somehow appropriate. After all, the man spends most of the movie looking handsome and getting captured; he succeeds because he’s a likable guy, not because he knows what he’s doing. He’s less a buffoon or a hero than he is just a guy with a heart of gold who doesn’t know how to quit. You couldn’t hate him if you wanted to.

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