New at BOP: Review: Matrix Resurrections Movie Review: Moonfall Movie Reviews: Scream The #1 Movie in America November Forecast The Many Saints of Newark October Forecast New Trivia Question All site updates Share & Save   Tweet Print this column

And how can you not love rock super group Queen and their melodramatic space-opera soundtrack? How can you not adore Timothy Dalton as Prince Barin, cranking up those formidable stage acting chops all the way to eleven? It's as if he had no idea how silly it all was. Or perhaps thanks to his Shakespearean past, he's just used to wearing green tights and reciting incomprehensible dialogue. There’s the incomparable Max Von Sydow as Ming, literally chewing on discarded strips of 35mm film in every scene. And then there’s Brian Blessed as Vultan, who nearly steals the show every time he’s on screen. I suppose he decided that when you’re wearing leather underwear, giant foam wings and carrying a plastic ray gun, you might as well just have a good time with it. In other words, this isn’t a Ridley Scott joint – this is pure make-believe unlike any film ever made except perhaps The Wizard of Oz. This is a story about the impossible; the important thing isn’t who your characters are, or even where they come from. It’s what they do in the now that makes them heroes; how they react at the moment cartoonishly improbable threats first unfold.

This is fantasy of the most innocent kind; if you could get into the mind of a ten-year-old boy and film his idea of a hero saving the universe, this movie is pretty much what you’d come up with. That’s the way you have to watch it, with the forgiving wonder and openness of a child. That’s the beauty of storytelling; simple tales based on fundamental concepts with swashbuckling heroes and outrageous villains inspire others to one day create their own worlds. More than anything, this is the wonderfully corny essence of Flash Gordon. He isn’t modern and nuanced, brooding and filled with self doubt. He’s a delightful anachronism, a hero from another time. He’s a relentlessly optimistic, all American guy with a straightforward set of values: Never lie, always do the right thing, always protect the innocent. He’s Tim Tebow with a ray gun and a rocket ship. And if I ever find myself trapped in an alternate universe opposite a maniac with a disintegrator ring and a wardrobe like the Emperor of China, there’s only one guy I want on my side. He’ll stand for all of us, and he’ll save every one of us. He’s miracle - Flash Gordon, quarterback of the New York Jets and Savior of the Universe!

Continued:       1       2       3