New at BOP: Review: Matrix Resurrections Movie Review: Moonfall Movie Reviews: Scream The #1 Movie in America November Forecast The Many Saints of Newark October Forecast New Trivia Question All site updates Share & Save   Tweet Print this column

Brett Beach: A comedy concert movie starring Kevin Hart (Laugh at My Pain) opened in only 97 theaters this weekend and outgrossed this by at least $500,000, coming fairly close to cracking the top 10. I think Hart's title is an apt summation for Bucky Larson's performance anxiety (again with the penis references, sorry!).

But... I did want to note that Bucky was not the biggest wipeout this past weekend. Some low-budget schlock entitled Creature - the type of thing that normally goes straight to DVD/on-demand - managed to open in as many locations (1,500) as Bucky Larson... and garnered a million dollars less. $331,000 total for a $220 per screen average. That's 22 people per location for the weekend, or 1-2 people per show. I've heard of Bucky Larson screenings that were better attended.

Max Braden: Bruce beat me to it. The whole thing reeks of blackmail + poison pill. You know which movie came to mind as an immediate comparison for outright awfulness? Dana Carvey's "The Master of Disguise". Production company? Happy Madison.

Tim Briody: I'm glad we finally got a "say something funny" topic for Bucky Larson, but that would be admitting that there is something funny about Bucky Larson.

Samuel Hoelker: Is anybody else terrified that this may not be the worst Adam Sandler-related movie this year? The Jack and Jill trailer is literally the worst thing I have ever seen, and I never misuse the word "literally."

David Mumpower: This is the worst looking comedy since at least Grandma's Boy if not Freddy Got Fingered. In fact, I wonder if someone will retroactively argue that it's an anti-comedy as was the case with that Tom Green abomination. If you are thinking about doing so, I would like to note that this does not make it better. Anti-comedy is like anti-matter. Its existence in this universe is unwelcome. If I want anti-comedy, I'll watch Kathy Griffin.

Now then, let's address the elephant in the living room. Dear Happy Madison: did we the people do something to you that led you to inflict Bucky Larson upon us? If so, is it too late to apologize? I ask because it feels like somebody cut you off in traffic so you unleashed the Rage Virus on western civilization as a retaliation. The punishment does not fit the crime. Didn't Just Go With It suck enough?

Celebrate good times, come on!

Kim Hollis: The NFL season is finally here! Who do you predict for the next Super Bowl?

Bruce Hall. First of all, two things. I only picked Dallas last year because I was sure Skeletor would have his boys motivated to play the big game in their home stadium. I was bamboozled. I was seduced. Never look directly into Jerry Jones' cold, dead eyes. Also, I know it's just one game but the Falcons sure looked like they could have used a few more draft picks this year. I wonder what happened?

Okay, that was just wrong. I apologize.

This year I go with Green Bay and Baltimore. The Pack's defensive backfield was a little spotty in the opener but it didn't matter, because they utterly dominated the Saints in the trenches on both sides of the ball - by FAR. This team is stacked, and I shudder to think of what they'll look like when they hit mid season stride. And we know they can weather injury because even MORE than last year, their roster is deeper than Maya Angelou.

I choose the Ravens because I think this is their year. They had a good off season and they came out of the gate hard. Yes, it's just one game. But nobody - I mean NOBODY dominates the Steelers like that. These guys are for real, my friends.





Max Braden: White Sox.

Reagen Sulewski: I tend to dump all but the most basic football knowledge in the off season (Favre's still playing, right?) so I'm not sure I should be judged as to knowing what the hell I'm talking about, but Green Bay and New England both look pretty scary so far. Let's go with them.

Tim Briody: I am, for reasons lost to my early childhood, a Tampa Bay Buccaneers fan, and while I'm excited about the Josh Freeman era, I don't think he's quite there just yet (and the loss to Detroit in Week 1 didn't help matters), so in the NFC we'll go with the trendy pick of Green Bay, who actually ends up even scarier since there's a 100% chance the team is healthier than last year. For the AFC, I actively dislike the Patriots, and the Jets making a third straight championship game seems unlikely, the Colts are done without Peyton and I'm not really sold on the Steelers either. Which means it'll probably be the Patriots.

David Mumpower: In reviewing the thread (Max, stop making that joke...three straight years is plenty), I see that my thunder has been stolen here but I too believe that Green Bay is going to make the Super Bowl once again. The strike gave them time away from the game that most defending champions do not receive and I believe it will benefit them moving forward. I also think New England is going to go about 18-2 (including the playoffs) to win the AFC and that would be an absolutely spectacular Super Bowl match-up as well as a record setter in terms of ratings.

Continued:       1       2       3