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If one focuses on the visceral and cartoonish action sequences (which though insanely violent are almost entirely lacking in blood and gore, another absence that was apparently rectified in the third and fourth installments, still unseen by me), it can be easy to ignore the streak of paranoia and stupidity at the heart of the film. The paranoia, a theme in films of the era such as Uncommon Valor and Missing in Action, is that the US government sold out its soldiers from the Vietnam War and that there were still large numbers knowingly being kept and tortured by the enemy. The stupidity is that, with the full intention that the mission fail, or barring that, to suppress any troublesome intelligence uncovered, the government sends in the man least likely to simply snap pictures and file a report.

Rambo waits for no man and when he commandeers a Soviet helicopter at the end and sets about indiscriminately mowing down hundreds of soldiers, it feels both exhilarating and sickening, a first generation first-person shooter game brought to life. Rambo thankfully lets his machine gun do the talking at the end (unleashing a can of whup ass on defenseless government computers and the spineless bureaucrat toady who spearheaded the mission) and keeps his tortured prose mercifully brief compared to First Blood.

But what I find most troublesome/puzzling about both films is the character of Col. Trautman (played by Richard Crenna), Rambo’s former commander and ostensibly his only friend in both films. Trautman strikes me as the Paulie and Mickey characters from Rocky combined. He’s the trainer egging him on, but also the mooch intent on dragging him down. He claims to want to help Rambo, he claims to be looking out for him, and yet in his interactions with Rambo, there is a coldness bordering on condescension. In his interactions with others, he can talk tough, but that’s all it ever seems to be, is talk. At the end of First Blood, they walk out of the police station together, captured in freeze frame. At the end of Rambo II, he turns his back on Trautman - and the world - and heads off, to nowhere, to await the inevitable sequel.

Next time: With the release of A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas just around the corner, I leave no stoner unturned, er half-baked, as I initiate a cage match of mucho munchies proportions. Dust off your wizard-shaped bong and fire up your favorite doobie: It’s Harold & Kumar vs. Bill & Ted vs. Cheech & Chong.

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