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With that said, an issue like this one would assist the argument that Pirate Radio would make an excellent television series. I happen to be on the side that firmly believes that.

On a television series, of course, these story sidetracks could be explored and given room to breathe. Emma Thompson could spend more time on the ship, she could interact with more men, we could follow her back on land, and the rest of it. It seems silly that she was even there at all, if only to slip who her son’s (Carl) father might be.

This isn’t limited to guests to the ship. DJ “Smooth” Bob Silver is such a recluse that he shows up to the table at some meal and literally no one there - a dozen people, maybe - knows who he is. (This is after years of broadcasting.) He reveals he’s, well, a host on the radio, and it clicks for everybody: He’s “Smooth” Bob Silver! He operates the graveyard shift!

Gosh, he’s just an oddball, with his full wig of hair and lazy attitude. We get him a few times more, namely at the end, while he’s desperately salvaging his records, but on the whole I wanted more. He was a character.

And I can say that about nearly everyone on the ship. They’re real people - sometimes a one-off joke, like the token lesbian who’s allowed to roll with the guys because she’s a lesbian -- but mostly fun, party hardy boys who would probably make good drinking buddies.

Kenneth Branagh was threatening, but he and Twatt (his henchman) rarely felt like the real-life sinister force they were supposed to represent. It was partly the film’s style - better make them bumbling, because everyone else is bumbling! - and partly because they’d be a buzz kill if they lingered on the screen too long.

But if not them, what else could bring the ship down? What about some natural chaos on the open sea? What about a mutiny, or at least more infighting? What about a pirate attack for god’s sakes? Threats wouldn’t seem so limiting in a 13- or 22-episode season.

And that’s the thing, really. I felt many times while watching the movie that the world within Pirate Radio was much bigger than we saw in Pirate Radio. I don’t look back on it scornfully - the end product
is fine as is - but there’s a bit of a seed planted that I know can be explored.

If only somebody could get Philip Seymour Hoffman to do television…

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