Viking Night: The Fog
By Bruce Hall
February 14, 2012
Not surprisingly, it seems things are about to get worse.
Detour - I want to point out that in one of the more interesting plot contrivances you'll ever see, the journal almost literally falls out of the sky. Seriously - John Carpenter's hand appearing from behind the camera and handing it to the guy would have been no less jarring. Now, before all you Carpenter-philes email to say I'm stupid, I get that it's a supernatural thing. But it just comes across as clumsy and weird. Imagine if, instead of Obi-Wan handing Luke his father's lightsaber, George Lucas walks into frame in his street clothes, hands it over and says "Here you go, Mark".
Yes I'm exaggerating. But only a little.
Like any good campfire fantasy, there are just a handful of main caricatures characters. As the town flings itself apart, Jamie Lee Curtis appears as a buxom hitchhiker, accepting a ride from a drunk driver twice her age (Tom Atkins) and casually propositioning the guy after he's already agreed to give her a ride. Yep - it's immediately clear that one of the most iconic screen heroines of the 1970s is only here to fill out tight sweaters and high-waisted jeans. I guess that's the old school misogyny of the 1980s for you. Somewhere, Ellen Ripley is spinning in her cryo-pod.
At least in space, no one can hear you scream.
Meanwhile, a languid late night radio deejay (Adrienne Barbeau) helps pace the story from her bird's eye view in the town's lighthouse. She gets a tip that a massive fog bank is rolling into the bay, and an inbound trawler is in its path. She beams a happy how-do you-do to the ship, passing on the warning to the drunken, belching crew. Sure enough a shimmering fog appears, seething with obvious malice and fury. It envelops the ship, and the body count begins.
Of course like most small town deejays, this one is also an amateur Nancy Drew. So when a mysterious piece of driftwood comes into her possession the next day, she starts digging into the disappearance of the trawler.
Simultaneously, Nick the Drunk and Liz the Hitchhiker are up to the same thing, for reasons that aren't really important right now. What IS important is that all of this is going down while the town's Mayor (Janet Leigh) is preparing for the community centennial celebration. As the deejay, the drunk driver, the slutty hitchhiker and the priest begin to uncover the horrible truth, will they be able to convince the mayor to act in time, or will history repeat itself? Of course like most horror movies, the answer is "no", and then later..."maybe".
Reminiscent of its namesake, The Fog is inundated with the idle mist of countless horror movie tropes - an isolated town with a Dark Secret, a square jawed hero who wants to uncover the Dark Secret, someone in a position of authority who drags their feet about the Dark Secret, a total lack of law enforcement activity except for one Fat Sheriff, a Kid in Danger, an Intrepid Priest, and of course, Jamie Lee Curtis Screaming Her Ass Off.
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