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Previously on Survivor, the tribes realigned from men vs. women to every sane person in the world vs. Colton. Instead, it was (randomly) divided into weak vs. strong, with the fallout being that Monica, the only player we liked thus far, was targeted for having the best performance on the new Manono tribe. We can’t believe we’re even typing that, but it is absolutely true. This is the point each season where we reiterate that poor decision making like this leads to people like Lill in the finale.

The mystifying aspect of the vote is that Alicia willingly voted out a woman, which gives the strong “misfits” alliance (you heard us) dominant numbers over the female members of the tribe. Alicia placed her faith in Colton, as did Monica – and we see how that turned out. Colton’s mutant ability is to coerce “allies” into acting against their best interest. Of course, we still don’t think he has any chance to win Survivor because he’s so despicable, which is why we’re waiting one more week until we debut the power rankings.

Alicia starts the evening by reminding us why we despise her. She describes Tribal Council as “the funniest” one so far. She relishes that she was part of the blindside that eliminated not only the strongest player on their tribe, but also someone with whom she had been aligned. Alicia is miscast on Survivor. She should be yelling at potential fathers about potential paternity results on Maury. (Sidenote: we just checked the TiVo to make sure that Maury is still a show, and tomorrow’s episode is titled “Seven Men Tested… Who’s the Baby’s Dad?” Maybe she’s doing both!

There’s an extended sequence where Colton and Alicia act like complete jerks to Christina, because they don’t care how she feels about them since in their minds, she is being voted off next. Alicia and Colton are snuggling and loving on each other, which means that everyone in the game who has allied with him so far should be worried, because all of his decisions are made on a whim – and for some reason, people will roll with whatever weird choices he makes. Christina notes that she will just do her best to find a way to stay around.

Over at Salani, we are reminded that Kat has no filter control. There’s so little going on at that harmonious (but cold) tribe that all they have to offer is Kat telling us about her nightmare. You may remember that her last encounter with previous BFF Alicia was not a pleasant one. After requesting to be paired with someone who is good at puzzles, Alicia took offense because Kat was obviously implying she wanted to be with another girl. Alicia then got her revenge by totally bombing the puzzle. Ha ha!

Anyway, let’s go back to Kat’s nightmare, which involves a trip to the mall with Alicia, who then proceeds to kill her. Somewhere, the producers of Scream 5 just got super excited. The Freudian interpretation of this is that Kat longs to be stabbed by Alicia, if you know what we mean. The realistic interpretation is that Kat has a pretty good read on Alicia.

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