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CJ feels strongly that if they cook something else that isn’t good, Tom Colicchio will ask why they didn’t simply serve a burger. What he fails to appreciate is that the reverse is true. This dilemma is the dual-edged frustration stemming from drawing a well-known ingredient. If they screw up a burger, there will be little forgiveness from the judges. Then again, if I can cook a burger, I’m sure CJ can make one that tastes better than rose petal jelly, which I believe is the primary ingredient in Vaseline.

A hilarious conversation occurs between Josie and Eliza. Strong-willed Josie is apprehensive about the current working relationship. She entreats Eliza to be a team first player rather than hard-headed. If the world had ended at the moment those words were spoken by Josie, no one could be surprised. This is like Terrell Owens complaining about the selfishness of other professional athletes.

The subtext of the conversation is unmistakable. “Do what I say and we won’t get eliminated, Noob.” To her credit, Eliza bites her tongue and agrees. Few of us would be so polite in the face of such hypocrisy.

A different team promptly demonstrates the dangers of such politeness. Joshua and John do not like one another yet they do respect one another’s cooking skills. Their joint dish features grits and pork. Unbeknownst to one another, both of them have concerns about the other’s preparations. Joshua believes the grits are too thick; John believes that Joshua has failed to sear the pork properly. Sagely, John notes that he is only being tolerated by his partner. Too much criticism will torpedo their dish. This is the problem with being respected but not liked. People are less receptive to professional tips from a jerk. I suspect that the editing hints at the duo finishing in the bottom group this week.

Only five minutes of the show is devoted to the preparation of the elimination challenge food. Generally, this indicates that the meals themselves are in some way noteworthy enough that the judging will be the focus of the episode. It’s either that or someone is going to shave Marcel’s head again. And since he is on Next Iron Chef at the moment, this seems unlikely.

At judges table, a handful of local merchants participate. They are the purveyors of many of the obscure ingredients used in this challenge. Spoiler: they are not impressed with the meals served. This lunch contains the worst food served since the dreaded Chinese restaurant episode during Top Chef All Stars. Tom and Padma wind up apologizing to the guest judges for the lackluster food quality. This episode is the inverse of the Charlize Theron episode. There is no imagination in the dishes and everything sucks. To wit, Tom later informs the contestants that there will be no winner for the challenge since no dish is worthy. This is like telling everyone in baseball that the season sucked and so there will be no MVP or Cy Young winner.

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