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That's a lot to take in, and it sure looks kick ass on paper. But you know what they say about things that look kick ass on paper. And yet...it's hard to be critical of Death Race 2000 from a purely artistic standpoint. It aspires to no more than it achieves, and it actually achieves far more than any sane person could possibly expect. Yes, it's incredibly sexist, intellectually reductionist and fundamentally tasteless in so very many ways. But it's also an inexpensively made, entirely tongue in cheek (attempted) satire of consumer culture that on the surface seems oddly more prescient now - in the age where people eagerly consume reality TV about pawnshops, hoarders and gigolos - than it ever was back in its own day.

Sadly, from a technical standpoint, there's not much to hang your hat on. I suppose a movie shot for three hundred grand actually should have looked a lot worse than this, so there's that. Carradine doesn't exactly distinguish himself here; he always was more a matter of presence than talent. To be perfectly honest, the real treat here is Stallone, who goes all in on Joe Viterbo. In fact if I didn't know better, I'd say Sly was playing it dramatic as opposed to Carradine, who always appears serenely aware of the joke. Either way, the future Italian Stallion is easily the most entertaining thing about this movie.

Joe's feud with Frankenstein is mostly one sided - the latter views his opponent with detached amusement - but their interactions provide the film with some of its most memorable moments. And there’s Stallone, a year before writing and starring in the Academy Award winner for best picture, eating with his hands, mowing down pedestrians and punching naked women in the face. It’s priceless kitsch, and a wondrous contrast that’s well worthy of historical documentation - kind of like having footage of Dame Judi Dench wearing the chicken suit from Stakeout. Death Race 2000 is the kind of thing that deserves to exist simply because the odds of it ever having happened in the first place are so incredibly slim.

This is an unapologetically trashy movie that looks almost as aggressively cheap as an old school Dr Who episode. It openly pushes an anti consumerist theme that would seem surprisingly prophetic, except that it seems to blame the government for the lousy taste undemanding audiences have. In other words, that it (ostensibly) has a message isn't quite enough to redeem Death Race 2000. A film made in such bad taste has no business wagging its finger at you or me for what we like, and believe me, none of this is the government's fault. There's no good reason for flying cars, and there's no good reason for Death Race 2000.

But some things are awesome simply because they exist, or even just because they have awesome titles like “Death Race 2000". I guess what I'm trying to say is that I kinda like Death Race 2000, and I'm okay with that. Sometimes it's okay to be awful, as long as you know you are. And sometimes it's okay to like awful things, as long as you know you do. That's the only defense I have, and the only explanation I can give you.

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