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As a matter of fact, had The Abyss ended anywhere near as well as it began, it would no doubt have an honored place in the almighty Viking Night Top Five. But alas, this movie is the creative equivalent of an Amway salesman. It tells you one thing and sells you another. It grabs you at the opening, pulls you along by your shirt collar through Bud and Lindsey’s bland-but-oddly-fascinating catfights, the supporting cast’s tomfoolery, Michael Biehn rocking it hardcore, and unlike the first time you fooled around in the back of your mom’s car, there’s even a thrilling climax that includes partial nudity! And all of this is against the backdrop of utterly convincing underwater sets, still (mostly) passable visual effects, and an increasingly desperate group of people trapped in the deep sea equivalent of a poorly designed Klingon battle cruiser.

And that’s when James Cameron decides it’s time for a lecture. A painfully derivative one, at that.

I’m not going to give away the ending, but considering how disappointing it still feels after all these years I wish I could, if only to let you know what you’ll be facing. Instead I’ll just say that by the time the main storyline is concluded you haven’t pried your eyes off the screen for over two hours, and then… I don’t know, imagine The Matrix ending with a bunch of French maids chasing Keanu Reeves around Central Park double time, while Yakety Sax plays in the background. I’m not saying that’s what happens (although that would have been better), I’m saying that it feels like no less of a betrayal. The Abyss isn’t really a sci-fi action thriller, it just wanted to get your attention so Cameron could show you his Steven Spielberg impression.

Speaking of that disappointing ending, let me suggest that when you watch The Abyss, choose to watch the extended cut. The ending is no less awful but at least it is given added context that’s sorely missing from the original. More important, you’ll see what for the most part is still a fun and absolutely gripping adventure that’s so visually solid you’d think it was made ten years later than it was. And with the exception of that certain issue which I can’t be any more specific about, The Abyss remains one of my favorite movies. And it also remains an illuminating early look into the mind of one of the most important directors working today. A bad ending might wreck a lesser film, but in the case of The Abyss, the first 130 minutes of awesome are way too strong to be overcome by a mere ten minutes of suck.

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