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I could spend several thousand words recounting everything that transpires with Found. That feels like beating a dead horse, though. Suffice to say that Murphy’s Law is in full effect. The waiters are either improperly trained or unwilling to pay attention. Guests are repeatedly provided with the wrong meals, there are extended gaps in service and the mood in the room is the equivalent of thinking you have Bruce Springsteen tickets only to realize you have Rick Springfield tickets instead.

Amusingly, a Top Chef endorsement blows up in the face of the producers as Chase Sapphire “contest winners” are treated to deplorable service and disappointing food. Take that, Top Chef whoremongers! Note: I actually quite like the production staff of Top Chef. A few of them have kindly offered words of encouragement to our site over the years for our recaps. I simply cannot hold my tongue on the crass commercialism that has infiltrated the competition this year, though. A line has been crossed.

How does the struggle with Found compare to Fin? There is only the slightest bit of hyperbole in stating that when the editing cuts to Fin, the viewer can hear angels playing harps in the background. The food tastes like luscious ambrosia. And the contestants all hold hands and sing with their eyes closed, offering renditions of every 1960s song about peace and love…but not dope. They must have run out of xanthan gum the previous night.

Every aspect of Fin’s performance is glorious. There is no wait time for guests as Travis exceeds expectations by providing one of the strongest Front of the House performances in the history of Top Chef. Take that, Fabio! Nick is in complete control of the kitchen, and the guests act as if they thought they had tickets to a Ringo Starr concert only to discover that the rest of the Beatles (including the dead ones) have decided to perform a reunion show right then and there.

Cut to…

The depths of Hell featuring fiery barons of Hell prodding the cast of Top Chef with wickedly sharp pitchforks. Poor Carlos, long since driven mad by the proceedings, mumbles as he is tormented. “When are we going to do the menu?” The collected works of Creed provide background noise as Justin and Sara continue to fight about the lack of sexiness of Hell’s Kitchen accoutrements. I am mostly kidding but only mostly.

Season 11’s Restaurant Wars is the biggest blowout in Top Chef history. I reserve judgment as long as possible because I remember the swerve a couple of seasons ago. The editing hinted similar dominance by one team only to lead to a reveal that the other’s food was superior. There is no such miracle coming tonight. Found has lost.

How does the disaster transpire? Sara never recovers from the Danny Meyer intimidation even though he is quite possibly the least threatening man I have ever seen. She effectively turtles for the rest of the evening. Before the judges can sit down at Found, there is already a surprise. Danny Meyer’s giant table of Chase Sapphire “winners” is still eating. Padma queries him on the timing of his reservation. He is amused to note that the next reservation is in three minutes yet he was only recently presented his main course.

Once the judges are seated, Sara disappears into the kitchen. For no apparent reason, she asks Justin to fire “two of each for the judges, please.” Justin is confused, and he eventually flips to livid before the night is through. He had requested a system and a process for firing plates. Sara’s nerves obliterate whatever chance the system had of working. While I maintain that hearing the word “judges” should cause everyone in the kitchen to stand up and take notice, Justin asks for a written ticket. It never comes.

I like Sara quite a bit. She is a refreshingly unique person on reality television. Despite my fondness for her, there can be no argument about what I say next. Sara chokes during Restaurant Wars. The scary thought is that Justin does no better. The end result exemplifies a theme that has been mentioned repeatedly on Top Chef yet never demonstrated as effectively in this episode. All the best food in the world will go unnoticed if the service at the restaurant sucks.

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