New at BOP: Review: Matrix Resurrections Movie Review: Moonfall Movie Reviews: Scream The #1 Movie in America November Forecast The Many Saints of Newark October Forecast New Trivia Question All site updates Share & Save   Tweet Print this column

If you can accept that kind of a story, then maybe Excalibur is for you. This will not be the action packed clash of armies that you’re probably expecting. It’s more like an extended soap opera where everyone shouts hackneyed truisms at one another like the great stage actors they are, and you are meant to walk away with the realization that you should be living your life differently than you are. On this level it works well - Byrne has no indoor voice because he’s an impetuous, power hungry asshole who does not deserve to be king, and you are meant to KNOW this. Patrick Stewart serves little purpose other than to be Guenevere’s dad, but he Patrick Stewarts the hell out of his role, and you can see where his daughter learned the moral conviction that drives her.

I give Liam Neeson credit for quite possibly being actually drunk when his character is introduced, and whether that’s true or not, Gawain’s obvious pain at having to choose between his morals and his King are plainly evident. Helen Mirren could not possibly chew her lines more thoroughly than she does, and if you’ve ever dreamed of seeing some of today’s most respected thespians cut their teeth on screen together, this is one of the best chances you’ll ever have. On that front, Williamson damn near owns the movie as Merlin, who comes across as a delightful cross between George Carlin and Ben Kenobi. He’s sorely missed whenever he’s off screen, and is easily the best thing about the film.

It’s a shame that we rarely see him do anything truly magnificent. True to legend, Merlin’s powers are of the subtle variety. More often than not, he tricks people into believing they’ve gotten what they want, gleefully allowing them to ultimately betray themselves. If Las Vegas had been a thing at the time, I can easily see him opening a casino.

The second best thing about Excalibur is how visually lush the movie is. Alex Thomson rightfully won recognition for his cinematography, although filming on location in Ireland no doubt altered the curve a bit. Upon closer inspection, it’s easy to see that most of Camelot is merely spray painted plaster or plastic meant to LOOK like metal or marble, but the sets, the armor, and the film’s universe itself are wondrous to behold. Supposedly much of it was originally constructed for a Lord of the Rings movie that never happened and if so, it’s interesting to wonder how such a film might have turned out. Probably poorly, but it looks pretty good in my imagination.

Excalibur is a story pulled from a vastly different and distant time, and it plays that way. It plods along slowly, taking its sweet time - particularly in the second act - but it’s a lush realization of a world at least vaguely familiar to most of us, and it relies on themes that are relevant to us all on a daily basis. As a morality play, it more or less accomplishes what it sets out to do, but as an engaging film experience, it leaves much to be desired. But the sum of its parts are well worthwhile, and ultimately more entertaining than they seem once it’s all said and done. So if you DO want to make a movie about King Arthur, this is as good a template as you’re likely to find.

Continued:       1       2       3