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Previously on The Amazing Race, the worst team was eliminated, which means that we’re three-for-three on the season. You’d think it would usually turn out like this in a competition like this one, but this is actually a refreshing turn of events. Also, it means that if you’re an athlete who has previously worked as a cheerleader, this turn of events bodes ill for you.

We also learned that the other half of #TeamAlabama is a condescending control freak who doesn’t trust her son to do anything. We’ve decided that we’re going to eschew the standard CBS naming conventions and name them #TeamSkinner in honor of Agnes and Seymour of The Simpsons, a pop culture mother and son who have a similarly dysfunctional relationship. The strange part is that James Earl seems like a remarkably well adjusted, well-intended young man. How he developed this way in the face of such adversity should be the subject of a scientific study.

None of the teams we’ve discussed so far, however, appear likely to affect the outcome of the game. The same is not true of #TeamTexas. Their maddening obsession with Justin, half of #TheGreenTeam, appears certain to determine the results of the game, at least incidentally if not directly.

The funniest part is that Justin seems entirely oblivious to their feelings. He loves competition and is living his dream, and he thinks it’s awesome that a couple of alpha males have won a couple of legs. That guarantees a challenge rather than a cakewalk. He’s not one to want something handed to him – he seeks to earn it.

Meanwhile, #TeamTexas would shoot him in the back if the gun laws in the countries to which they are traveling were as generous as the gun laws in Texas. Tanner & Josh are not just feuding with a stranger – they’re doing so completely unknown to him. If the guys do lose this season, we’re confident we can trace the source of their doom to their fixation.

Today’s leg begins with – you guessed it - #TeamTexas plotting against #TheGreenTeam. Tanner & Josh actually finished in first place by a matter of moments, but you’d be hard-pressed to guess that based on their Machiavellian negotiations with the third-place Kelsey & Joey. #TeamTexas is reiterating for approximately the 73rd time that they’ll give their Express Pass to whichever team uses the upcoming U-Turn in this leg on Justin & Diana. As far as we can tell, this is the only conversation they’ve had with the reporters, and they’ve had it at least eight times. At this point, we have to wonder if the reports believe that #TeamTexas thinks they’re total morons.

Along with U-turning #TheGreenTeam, Tanner & Josh instruct #TheReporters that whoever else finishes ahead of Justin & Diana should U-Turn #TeamTexas so that Justin & Diana won’t be able to U-Turn another team. O-kay? The problem with this strategy is that it assumes Justin & Diana won’t finish first or second…which they have every leg so far except for one where they had monumentally bad luck (but still fought back to beat to teams in the face of steep odds). Based on the way the show is portraying the discussions, we feel confident that this little scheme is going to backfire.

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