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Previously on the very first episode of The Amazing Race, there was a non-elimination leg. We are full of rage. If the show doesn’t send people home, it’s a glorified vacation video.

To be fair, CBS has justification for this decision. It’s a gimmick cast season, featuring internet celebrities from Vine, Instagram and YouTube. Most of the teams have fans, which makes this the closest thing we’ve had to an Amazing Race competition with famous people. Well, we suppose we could count the All-Star seasons, but not really.

Anyway, eliminating someone in the first episode would alienate many of the viewers the network is trying to entice into watching. They just went with the opportunity cost of alienating long-standing viewers of the Race instead. The good news is that the show has dialed back non-elimination legs in recent seasons, which means we may already be done with them for Season 28. Of course we know that isn’t true, but please don’t squash our dreams.

The one thing a non-elimination leg cannot change is order of placement. Assuming there’s not bunching later, the teams who finished strongly in the first leg should have a decent lead. First away are Dana & Matt, who leave at 1:42 p.m. as they’re directed to Cartagena, Columbia.

So, probably there’s going to be bunching. But the thing about bunching is that you have to use that opportunity to get your plane tickets. The earliest flight arrives in Cartagena at 8:59 a.m., while the second one gets in at 9:37, another one at 10, and the last one is 10:30. Darius & Cameron are one of the first teams to arrive at the airport. We don’t know exactly what they do. We know what they don’t do - which is get their tickets. A nice moment occurs when they sign autographs for a little boy.

Meanwhile, the following teams get on the earliest flight: Dana & Matt, Tyler & Korey, Burnie & Ashley, and Brodie & Kurt. The brutal part is that we can see the brothers standing in the background of some of the shots. Do they at least get on the next flight? No.

The teams that book the 9:37 arrival are Zach & Rachel, Erin & Jocelyn, Sheri & Cole, and Brittany & Jessica. As the brothers continue to lollygag, another funny incident occurs. Flight attendant Marty brags that her experience will help them in their travels. Then, she promptly gets in the wrong line, which provides an opening for the previously last-place Scott & Blair, who take the 9:37 slot just ahead of them.

This leaves Marty & Hagan on the 10 a.m. flight. Do Darius & Cameron join them? No. Their flight arrives at 10:30. They have just ceded every other team somewhere between a half hour and a 90 minute lead due to their lackadaisical pursuit of airplane tickets. If this doesn’t set them, it’s going to be a wonderful learning experience. Unfortunately, we figure it’s going to set them.

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