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5) Ser Jorah Mormont

There’s love. There’s devotion. And then there’s whatever Ser Jorah feels toward his Khaleesi. What he experiences for her is a fixation bordering upon slavery. Neither one of them is currently in a good spot, but for all of Daenerys Targaryen’s problems, at least she’s not turning to stone. Still, here’s the truth about Ser Jorah. When we first met him, he was giving advice to her and her brother. His suggestions have led to her becoming a Dothraki queen, leader of an allegedly badass army, and the unquestioned ruler of a free Meereen. Game of Thrones has explicitly demonstrated that each of her mistakes transpired when she failed to take Jorah’s advice, or after she’d sent him away. Mormont isn’t going to win this game, because he has no inclination to do so. He’s arguably the most naturally gifted player, though.

6) Daenerys Targaryen

We’ve already listed some of her positives. We can tick off a couple more. She flipped the Unsullied in such a way that not only did they fight for her, but they are also death defyingly loyal. She also became the Abraham Lincoln of Meereen when she abolished slavery across the Narrow Sea. Oddly, these positives aren’t unquestionably good outcomes. Random street thugs can kill members of the Unsullied, one of the worst story mistakes of the series to date. Allegedly invincible warriors don’t lose fights to villagers armed only with torches and pitchforks.

Also, the slavery thing caused all the merchants (aka slave owners) to rebel as the Sons of the Harpy took up their part. The unexpected outcome of that uprising is that Khaleesi racked up some frequent flyer mileage on one of her babies before being captured and kidnapped by… more Dothraki. First of all, it can’t be good to be a Dothraki magnet. As a people, they’re Mayor of Khaleesi on Foursquare. She’s apparently going to be in peril this entire season until Ser Jorah comes to the rescue and saves her, presumably sacrificing his stone-based life for her sultry, flesh-toned one. Also, and this has nothing to do with the show itself, we hold her a little bit responsible for Terminator Genisys. We paid IMAX prices for that dreck.

7) Ramsay

Sure, he’s a psychopath, and that worked out horribly for Joffrey Baratheon. However, let’s talk about his “positives.” He is the only current heir to the Warden of the North. His wife claims the loyalty of all the people comprising these lands. As far as land-based marriages go, it was a masterful consolidation. Finally, the show spent the body of five seasons discussing what a masterful military mind Stannis Baratheon was. At the end of Season 4, Stannis appeared likely to stand as the strongest threat to the Lannisters. Ten episodes later, Ramsay’s army had totally crushed his ranks. The thing about sadists is that they’re great at leading troops. It’s easier if you don’t care if any of your men suffer and die.

The cons for Ramsey are rather obvious. We’ve already discussed how replaceable his father considers him to be. Also, his wife has run off with a penis-less man. We don’t really think of Ramsay as any master strategist the way that virtually everyone else on this list is. He’s the closest thing to the Joker on game of thrones. He just wants to watch the world burn.

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