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More importantly, the how, where, and when of each murder add to the impact. Before it’s over, Black Christmas feels less like an actual slasher film and more like an extremely short, R-rated psychological thriller. There’s a lot of salty language (mostly out of Margot Kidder’s mouth, natch) but no nudity and what blood there is you’ll miss if you blink three times in a row. Most of what’s scary about the film will come from the ambiance of Canadian winter, or from you thinking about what it would be like if YOU were the one getting stabbed in the stomach with a crystal unicorn.

Which leads us to the most important thing of all. There is some genuinely good acting in this movie, and it helps you identify with the characters. Olivia Hussey played Juliet in what some consider to be the definitive film version of a certain Shakespeare play. The one they made a big deal of when I was in high school because there were boobs for three seconds (I counted). Keir Dullea appears as Jess’ high strung boyfriend. You might remember him as the astronaut who did NOT die in 2001: A Space Odyssey.

John Saxon is the intrepid police detective who investigates Clare’s disappearance. If you’ve seen Enter the Dragon, you will recall him as the guy Bruce Lee called for help when there were just too many asses to kick and not enough time for one man to do it. Saxon is actually a pretty good actor, and a total badass. While watching him here, I couldn’t help but wonder how in the name of God Almighty this man was not given his own franchise of hard-boiled cop films.

And obviously, Margot Kidder is the Tom Baker of Lois Lanes.

I’m not saying that all of these people are the greatest actors of their generation, but they’re good, and they’re good together, and they’re a hell of a lot better than this story deserves. So, guess what? It all worked out extremely well! The film is imaginatively crafted, with clever scene transitions and gobs of atmosphere. The Killer is a terrifying maniac. Margot Kidder coins the terms “gold plated whore” and “fellatio 20880” (which should be the name of the next dedmau5 album...dude, call me). I also wish John Saxon was my dad. Unlike most “slasher” films, when HIS police department gets involved, shit gets DONE.

The last act of Black Christmas is, honestly, kind of scary good. If you can forget the hundreds of serial killer movies made since, and imagine seeing it with fresh eyes, it gets even better. And the final shot of the film is just...perfect. I absolutely love Margot Kidder Black Christmas, and not ironically. This is a legit horror classic that does not get nearly the love it deserves. Well, I am more than willing stand up and be the tip of the spear on that one - at least until it’s time to drop Michael Bay May...

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