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The kids set up camp maybe a hundred yards from Tucker’s cabin. It’s here that we discover that Chad (Jesse Moss) and Allison (Katrina Bowden) and are the Alpha Male and Female of the group. Allison is the most beautiful girl in the cast, but she has a heart of gold and a super compassionate nature. Chad is carrying a torch for her, but is also kind of an insufferable horn-dog. When he makes his move on Allison and is politely turned down, anyone who’s seen more than two films in their life will recognize this as significant.

Also significant: Chad spins a campfire yarn about a similar group of kids who may or may not have been murdered at the same campsite, after which everyone decides to go skinny dipping. Again, characters in horror films tend to inhabit worlds where horror movies don’t seem to actually exist - but Tucker and Dale is the kind of movie that knows this, and wastes no time capitalizing on it. While attempting a sweet dive from a high rock, Allison is startled by Tucker and Dale in their boat, and knocks herself out. Tucker and Dale rescue her but are observed by Allison’s friends, who misinterpret it as a kidnapping.

And, that’s the whole joke. Tucker and Dale are boorish, scruffy guys, but they’re also actually decent people. Unfortunately they’re both also dumb as a bag of wet hair, and completely fail to understand what’s happened. Allison takes a while to come to, and every time Tucker and Dale try to contact her friends, the kids misinterpret their clumsy overtures as threats. This results in some of the - no, ALL of the - best gags in the film. While Dale attempts to nurse Allison back to health, Tucker goes back to clearing the land around the cabin, which ends up involving a chainsaw and some angry bees.

Can you guess what happens when a hillbilly with a chainsaw comes running out of the woods screaming like Roger Daltrey in the middle of a second encore? It’s pretty hilarious, and this kind of thing happens throughout the film. Two bumbling idiots are just trying to help a bunch of stupid kids and end up scaring them half to death instead. But wait - this is a horror movie, right? Sure, we all want to have some laughs when we sit down for a slasher picture, but we all know what we’re really watching for, don’t we? Where’s the blood? When do the murders start?

When will Tucker and Dale finally fight evil?

Well, it’s difficult to get into that much without spoiling the film. But I will say that Chad quickly elects himself Burt Reynolds, and decides that the only way to “free” Allison is to take the fight they think they’re having to the source, and storm the cabin. And while that might sound grim, there’s actually a whole lot of slapstick involved, and unless you’re a soulless husk of a person who has forgotten what joy feels like, you WILL be entertained. And while the laughs are rarely of the “laugh out loud” variety, there are a lot of them, and they happen at a pretty consistent pace.

Tucker and Dale was co-written and directed by Eli Craig, who is not to be confused with Eli Roth, because this film did not make me hate myself for watching it. This is Craig’s first major directing credit, and while he hasn’t followed up with much to date, he deserves kudos for thinking outside the box. Tucker and Dale isn’t the first film to try and take the piss out of the “lost in the woods” cliche, nor is it the best. But it’s wonderfully creative in its own way, and even after I got the hang of what was happening, each gag and each twist still delighted me.

Tucker and Dale are delightfully oblivious for most of the story, with Tudyk more or less playing straight man to Labine’s blundering, lovesick schlub. Most of the rest of the cast seem to be in on the joke by the end, which makes it even more fun to watch them die. I know, that sounds bleak, but please don’t judge me. There’s only one reason to watch a movie like this, and that’s because sometimes watching a bunch of moronic college kids get cut to ribbons is just the boost you need after a hard day of having a long hard day.

If truth in advertising is a virtue, Tucker and Dale gets a gold star for honesty. When you see a wood chipper in a movie, you KNOW it’s going to get used. And when Tucker and Dale are fight evil, by God there will be gallon after hilarious gallon of stupid teenager blood. I’m not sure there’s room here for a sequel, or if I’m even a good person after writing that sentence. But if it happens, you can count me in.

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