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Kind of makes me wish Denzel was Batman (make it happen, Hollywood).

As you can see, Virtuosity is cobbled together using tropes from a variety of genres. It’s part techno-thriller, part police procedural, part revenge fantasy, and part computer illiteracy clinic. The technological aspect of Virtuosity is, of course, unrealistic - which on its own isn’t an issue. But like I said, I’m not sure why anyone cares about VR when you can apparently make killer robots out of old car windshields. And of course, none of the decisions made by any of the characters at any point in the story makes any sense whatsoever. Remember that time in college when you drank a pint of Wild Turkey on a dare and woke up 500 miles away, wearing someone else’s clothes?

THAT makes more sense than Virtuosity.

Still, I found myself having fun with it anyway. No, nothing makes any sense, but there IS a logical progression of plot. There IS a lot of action. There’s even a part where Crowe makes music out of the desperate screams of a room full of hostages (again...why so serious…?). But again, as with Brett Leonard’s previous virtual reality themed whack-fest, Virtuosity manages to survive on account of some surprisingly decent performances.

And I’m not referring to Russell Crowe. As I mentioned earlier, his performance is clearly meant to be over the top. And the character IS meant to be made up of many personalities. Still, it somehow still misses the mark. Not in an “Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls” kind of way - it fits this character more closely - but in a “Jared Leto from Suicide Squad” kind of way. At first, I wasn’t sure if I liked it or hated it. Then I realized the answer was “neither.” I wasn’t completely put off, but I also don’t need to see that character in another movie ever again.

Meanwhile, Denzel brings it. This might as well be Training Day. It doesn’t matter. The man spouts line after line of incomprehensible gibberish with the polish of a professional. When he pauses for one of an interminable series of “dead family” flashbacks, you FEEL it. William Forsythe is probably never going to win an Oscar, but if you love him like I do, you know why he’s been in everything. Kelly Lynch is as competent as she needs to be, both as a criminal psychologist and - later - as a mother scared out of her mind.

I’m telling you man, Denzel raises all boats.

I actually had not seen Virtuosity before this, and while I probably won’t ever watch it again, I’m happy as hell that I did. I’ve never stopped to think of how Denzel Washington would defeat Robert Patrick in a fistfight. I never dreamed that I’d want to see a Batman movie starring Malcolm X and that guy from Gladiator.

Thank you, Brett Leonard. Thank you for the Klowns, thank you for putting James Bond in the Matrix, and thank you - most of all - for Virtuosity.

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