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But then, during the second act, something magical happens. The tone changes, and things begin to feel more like a Jason Statham fever dream - without Jason Statham.

The kids are the real stars of this film, and much of the story focuses on their transition from mischievous street urchins to hardened insurgents (a transformation that admittedly, takes up less than minutes of screen time). Over the course of the film they learn to work together, and begin to think of one another as a kind of mad, fractured family. They’re instrumental in coming up with a way to fight back against the robots - a process that utilizes a weird mix of drama, humor, and a handful of scenes that might feel right at home in Snatch, Crank, or Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

Portions of Robot Overlords are genuinely entertaining, and the visual effects are, mercifully, almost uniformly decent. Even the soundtrack is much, much better than one has a right to expect from a $20 million giant robot movie. At first, the only thing that disappointed me were trying to find the logic in the robot invasion, and this is usually my problem with invasion movies; the reason for invasion usually doesn’t add up.

Why would you invade the earth for water, minerals, or biomass - when all those things are found in greater abundance with much less effort, all over the galaxy? What possible reason is there to occupy a planet populated by seven billion resentful meatbags when you can do almost anything else with your time? Well, the robots actually do have a game plan, and not only is it more nefarious than first implied (obviously), but it kind of makes a macabre kind of sense - if you’re a Nazi sympathizer who admires cold, machine-like efficiency.

The robots use a human-shaped android called Mediator 452 (Craig Garner) to help Smythe and the collabor-- I mean “Volunteer Corps” keep humanity docile and compliant. Mediator 452 is an appalling, androgynous, condescending little monster. His distorted mechanical patois is made more disturbing by the fact that he looks to be built from parts of three or four different people. He often appears on television to reassure the public, and tends to punctuate these cybernetic fireside chats with the chilling phrase: “robots never lie”.

For a short time, Robot Overlords serves up some moderately compelling allegory regarding how benign aspirations can lead to terrible things - when pursued with excessive vigor.

And then, it’s not. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Lots of films just kind of “give up” once the second act begins, and it’s time to start throwing obstacles at the heroes. It’s the part of the script where the switch gets flipped from “PARABLE - MINOR” to “CHASE - EXTENDED”. At some point, Sean discovers the Magic Bullet they need to fight the invaders, and it’s right about the time we discover the true, horrific plan in store for humanity. But it’s mostly fun, watching Sean and his youthful cohorts dig deep on this digital dilemma. Pay attention Spielberg - it IS possible to include children in an action movie without presenting them as treacly, sepia-toned metaphor for your own past, or as the fulcrum for an insipid act three deus-ex-machina (“It’s a Unix system! I know this!”).

I’m not sure how you write out a physical shudder. Just imagine me doing it now.

Honestly, the only truly terrible part of Robot Overlords is the absolutely bonkers ending. But by that point, you must realize that once you’ve consented to watch a film called Robot Overlords, you relinquish the right to be overly critical. And if make it to the climax, you have by default given it your express approval. Don’t get ¾ of the way through a plate of eggs and THEN tell me you don’t like it. You have no room to complain about ANYTHING. The ending of this movie is nuttier than a Snickers bar, but Robot Overlords is a film that clearly understands what it is, largely sticks to this template, and delivers on everything it promises.

In the end, it’s no worse than one of the many Star Trek episodes where Captain Kirk talks a super intelligent computer into committing suicide - “Kirking” it, if you will - with a fatal dose of smug self-assurance.

“It never makes much sense, but it’s fun as hell to watch!”

As far as I’m concerned, that is both a suitable tagline FOR, and my entire advance review OF Robot Overlords II.

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